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Original poster

Fed up of other peoples dogs complicating my life.

410 replies

CrystalE · 21/05/2021 00:07

I don't mind dogs. We don't have them because of environmental concerns - we have vegetarian pets.

However recently I am fed up as trying to arrange to meet various family members seems to be totally constrained by their dogs . Here are examples:

Lets meet up for a pub lunch - family member A - "are dogs allowed"
Lets go for a country walk - family member B "can it be dog friendly"
How about a beach visit - family member C - "will dog have to be on lead"

I want to see family - not their dogs. Why can't the dogs just stay at home ...............

We love our pets but we don't want to take them everywhere with us.

OP posts:
melonhead · 21/05/2021 13:44

I agree OP. I don't like dogs at all. Dogs coming on walks on to the beach spoil it for me considerably.

motogogo · 21/05/2021 13:44

My dog is part of my family, if I meet up with family I take my dog if the activity is dog compatible eg you don't take your dog to the cinema but a walk along the beach and a pub lunch, yes I would be annoyed if my relatives chose a location that wasn't dog friendly (when most are). Actually my relatives all love dogs!

motogogo · 21/05/2021 13:47

Oh and with country walks they can just put their dogs on leads. No issues with going through fields then

Watermelon222 · 21/05/2021 13:47

@CrystalE

Thanks for all replies. Have to say I was venting a bit late at night after arduous day. I don't hate dogs but glad that some people on here don't think I awful for not wanting to arrange a dog friendly family meet up
I think it depends on how far they’re travelling from and if there is anyone at home that could look after their dog(s) for them while they’re out.

Our dog could be left for 4-5 hours and would be fine, but if longer than that we would need to see if someone would pop in or look after her for us.

I prefer not to eat out with our dog unless somewhere really dog friendly or if you’re outside with plenty of space.

Our dog is pretty good though, not high maintenance and doesn’t jump up at people or bark a lot.

Regarding walks, if there is livestock they would just go on a lead.

Regarding poo bins, yes I can understand both sides of this! Before we had a dog I felt the same as you and it irritated me too when people were constantly trying to find a bin! Now we have a dog I understand more the need to find one rather than carrying a bag of s*it!!

Hope you manage to have a good day!

Mazblue86 · 21/05/2021 13:50

I love our dog. And I have some friends who for some reason hate dogs. I think this is a bit weird but when they say 'can we go for a walk without the dog' I say 'yes, of course.' I still think they are a bit weird and I tell them so, and then we get on with our day.

LST · 21/05/2021 13:52

@Mazblue86

I love our dog. And I have some friends who for some reason hate dogs. I think this is a bit weird but when they say 'can we go for a walk without the dog' I say 'yes, of course.' I still think they are a bit weird and I tell them so, and then we get on with our day.
See I wouldn't do that. I'd say 'well I'm already going here today to walk the dog, you're welcome to join or I could meet you after for (whatever) without the dog'
LST · 21/05/2021 13:53

@melonhead

I agree OP. I don't like dogs at all. Dogs coming on walks on to the beach spoil it for me considerably.
There are plenty of beaches that don't allow dogs in the summer. Just go to one of those
Sparklingbrook · 21/05/2021 14:13

I don’t think it’s unreasonable to not want somebody else’s wet smelly dog lying on your feet under the table while you eat your lunch.

Outside might be a bit better but I’d rather no dogs (or any other animal) with my food TBH.

purplefoxglove · 21/05/2021 14:29

@Mazblue86

I love our dog. And I have some friends who for some reason hate dogs. I think this is a bit weird but when they say 'can we go for a walk without the dog' I say 'yes, of course.' I still think they are a bit weird and I tell them so, and then we get on with our day.
I'd say yes you can - I'll see you afterwards!
purplefoxglove · 21/05/2021 14:33

I thought a thing you're supposed to do is to teach a dog that it's 'place' in the family hierarchy is at the bottom. I think it's dangerous when that concept goes out the window Your thoughts on dogs are are dangerously out of date!

SlipperyDippery · 21/05/2021 15:08

I like dogs, admittedly I like some more than others, but while I’d happily go on a walk with well behaved dogs, and tolerate less well behaved dogs on walks because I know my friends will want to bring them for understandable reasons, I draw the line at eating in a pub with a dog.

Even if he or she is asleep beneath the table, other people’s dogs might not be, plus a freshly walked dog often smells especially if it’s been drizzling. It really puts me off.

Maharajah20 · 21/05/2021 15:24

@motogogo

My dog is part of my family, if I meet up with family I take my dog if the activity is dog compatible eg you don't take your dog to the cinema but a walk along the beach and a pub lunch, yes I would be annoyed if my relatives chose a location that wasn't dog friendly (when most are). Actually my relatives all love dogs!
Can I ask why you would be annoyed if they had chosen a somewhere that wasn’t dog friendly? Would you not see it as they were meeting up with you and maybe they wouldn’t automatically think you would be bringing a dog? As a non dog owner it wouldn’t even enter my head to check if a pub was dog friendly. Genuine question.
LST · 21/05/2021 16:09

@SlipperyDippery

I like dogs, admittedly I like some more than others, but while I’d happily go on a walk with well behaved dogs, and tolerate less well behaved dogs on walks because I know my friends will want to bring them for understandable reasons, I draw the line at eating in a pub with a dog.

Even if he or she is asleep beneath the table, other people’s dogs might not be, plus a freshly walked dog often smells especially if it’s been drizzling. It really puts me off.

So if you were with a group of people and you'd just been for a walk and they all decided to go the pub, you'd go home? What happens if you hadn't got a dog with you but when you entered the table next to you had a dog?
whenwillthemadnessend · 21/05/2021 16:09

It's perfectly ok to be top
Dog in my opinion. I don't see why this has to be cruel or hard on a dog as long as he feels secure and loved and has enough food stimulation exercise

LolaSmiles · 21/05/2021 16:22

It's perfectly ok to be top Dog in my opinion. I don't see why this has to be cruel or hard on a dog as long as he feels secure and loved and has enough food stimulation exercise
It depends what you mean by top dog though.
Based on what you say, I could also say I'm top dog to mine in that they are well-trained, well socialised and well looked after, but their obedience comes from a place of respect and positive training, not me asserting my authority over them to generate behaviour from a fear response.

When many non-dog owners talk about letting dogs know they're bottom, owners have to be top dog, run the pack, assert their authority, they don't generally seem to be referring to an ongoing commitment to lovingly train a dog in a supportive environment. It generally seems to mean "show them who's boss and throw your weight around".

SchadenfreudePersonified · 21/05/2021 16:37

Yep this. Totally agree OP. Dogs seem to be taking over. Went for walk with friend after not seeing each other for ages, ruined by dog disappearing as has no recall, friend hysterical, walk trashed. Another friends dog barks relentlessly at me whenever we see them and has trashed a pair of dds shoes. Another friend came round with her pita hound who terrified my cats, they disappeared outside and refused to come in, didn't eat for a day due to being so traumatised. The dog whinged, whined and barked throughout taking over the entire visit. Dog owners please take note.. leave them at home!! I'm more blunt about it now, if we're meeting up I enquire if the dogs going to be there and if so will arrange another time. Walks are ruined by dogs as the owner has to be totally focussed on the dogs behaviour and can't relax and chat. Even if the dog you're with can behave then other dogs can't and will approach the dog you're with and they'll be some kind of awkward altercation. And these poodle mongrels that are all the rage are a pain, happy, snappy, badly behaved nightmares

All of these problems are NOTHING to do with the dogs, and EVERYTHING to do with the owners.

SlipperyDippery · 21/05/2021 16:52

So if you were with a group of people and you'd just been for a walk and they all decided to go the pub, you'd go home? What happens if you hadn't got a dog with you but when you entered the table next to you had a dog?

I’m a city dweller and loads of pubs here aren’t dog friendly, so I would usually choose one of those.

Hypothetically, if we had planned to go to the pub for lunch I’d probably go but I wouldn’t choose to do this, and I wouldn’t expect a dog owner to expect that I would be ok with it. I would expect a dog owner with basic manners to ask if it was ok to eat with the dog present, at which point I’d say I prefer not but completely understand if that means lunch isn’t possible. Then we could just do the walk if that’s better for them/their dog.

Realistically though I just wouldn’t plan to eat on an outing when dogs were coming along. My objection would be to if we were planning to eat somewhere, a dog owner assuming people would be ok with their dog coming for the meal.

SchadenfreudePersonified · 21/05/2021 16:54

BTW - I agree that ALL pets can be much loved family members.
We've had guinea pigs, rabbits, hamsters, gerbils - and they all have their own little personalities. They aren't just an amorphous "rabbit" - We've had cheeky rabbits, shy rabbits - and one absolute bastard of a "Thugs" Bunny that we were all very wary of (he was a character!).

Same with guinea pigs, hamsters etc - they are highly intelligent and very personable.

The difference is, these animals are quite happy to be left in their cage as long as they have water and preferably something to nibble. Dogs can't.

A couple of favourite guinea pig clips

SchadenfreudePersonified · 21/05/2021 16:56

Oh - and this one

whenwillthemadnessend · 21/05/2021 16:59

@lolasmiles

Yes your approach is what I'm getting at.

whenwillthemadnessend · 21/05/2021 17:00

Awe the Guineas are so cute

LolaSmiles · 21/05/2021 17:01

All of these problems are NOTHING to do with the dogs, and EVERYTHING to do with the owners
Well said.

Though, on the attention argument, most dog owners I know walk their dogs daily and are more than capable of walking and talking whilst appropriately reinforcing dog behaviour, ensuring they're under appropriate control. They might exist but I've yet to go out with friends or acquaintances and them be incapable of relaxing or talking due to the presence of a dog. I can't help but wonder how how PP's friends function function a dog if they genuinely can't chat whilst walking with their dog.

LolaSmiles · 21/05/2021 17:02

whenwillthemadnessend
I thought soSmile.
It's not what non-dog owners typically mean by owners needing to show they're top dog. Sometimes I think owners and non-owners have very different ideas about how to train dogs.

Enroljas · 21/05/2021 17:06

In short you are desperate to meet up with family members, for a walk, who have a dog and are offended they want to bring the dog?

I have met up with family members for a walk. They did not object to me taking my dog. If they had objected I would have said I wouldn’t attend. I walk my dog twice a day so what you are asking is I take my dog for the morning walk, walk with you in the afternoon - for however long - return home to walk dog again. It’s far easier for me to take my dog on a walk with everyone else. Dogs should be leashed around livestock anyway so I don’t see your point there?

If a family member requested I join them for an evening meal I would happily leave dog at home.

FlyingPandas · 21/05/2021 17:21

I think to object going for a walk with family members bringing dogs is a bit odd. Even if it’s a beach walk (though personally I don’t like dogs on beaches if I’m going to spend a summer’s day and attempt to have a picnic on one-I’ve had too many picnics ruined by badly behaved dogs). But you can manage most walks and be absolutely dog friendly, assuming the dog is decently trained, has good recall and is put on the lead if any livestock about.

I do agree though that some people just seem to think that having a dog means everything should be dog friendly! Eating out etc does not and should not have to be dog friendly.

I actually think pubs, cafes and restaurants should be banned from being allowed welcome dogs (assistance dogs excepted of course). When we had our dog we never once felt the need to take him into a pub or cafe! As with picnics, I’ve had too many bad experiences of badly behaved dogs in eating establishments. And even well behaved dogs smell of, well, dog, which is hardly unreasonable but not pleasant when you’re trying to enjoy a meal, and a dog quite naturally wants to sniff at food and hope for scraps. Which, again, not everyone really wants to be subjected to.

If you want to eat out, you leave your dog at home for an hour. If your dog cannot be left for an hour, then you stick to takeaways. End of.

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