What's been "mansplained" to you recently?

[askingrandomsonlinemighthelp]

My DP is a mansplainer extraordinaire. We were walking along the coast toward a famous (in these parts) lighthouse.

He told me what a lighthouse was.

I’ve had the best tampons mansplained to me in great detail 😂

I know of several women who explain obvious things all the time. I think it is more a personality trait than exclusively a man thing.

@Redjumper1

I know of several women who explain obvious things all the time. I think it is more a personality trait than exclusively a man thing.

I think mansplaining is when a man thinks you don't understand something because you're a woman, especially if it's something women would generally know more about (e.g. pregnancy/childbirth/periods/female anatomy/breastfeeding etc.) or a stereotypically 'male' topic (cars, DIY, tech etc.) Lots of people seem to think it's mansplaining is anytime a male explains something obvious to a woman, but that's not necessarily the case.

Someone who indiscriminately explains everything to everyone is commonly known as a know-it-all. (I am a know-it-all, which is how I know )

Ignore the unnecessary 'it's' in there. I really need to get better at proofreading.

I think @Puntastic sums it up perfectly.

Not quite mansplaining but in a similar spirit.

Friend and I were easing a bed settee into the back of her estate car. We were being slow and careful as there was a protruding bolt in the back of the car that ran the risk of ripping the cover.

From nowhere a manly man appeared and without asking if we needed help or checking why we were being so careful lifted the rear of the sofa and with a cheery "all right lasses" rammed it into the car. Thus ripping the cover.

He must have realised what he'd done, he couldn't not have noticed.

Instead of saying anything he left abruptly before we could challenge him. I think he actually ran.

Why not ask if we needed help? Why not check if what we were doing was ACTUALLY the best way to do it? Did he just assume that we were ineffectual faffing women who were too weak and dim to put a sofa in a car?

I am still annoyed now and it was many years ago.

Buying a garden room

I tell the salesman one ceiling is higher than the other and really we want the higher ceiling

Man : No madam they are the same

Me : No they’re not

Man: I can assure you they are, i can get the brochures

Me: they look different

Man: i think you’ll find it’s because they are on a slope

THEN HOW COME I CAN TOUCH THE CEILING IN ONE BUT NOT THE OTHER ????? RIDDLE ME THAT NUMBNUTS!!!!!

(And no I didn’t say that because I thought id double check and make sure im not going mad....im not going mad)

And no mines probably not mansplaining (he was incredibly patronising)

But i do feel better for having vented 😀

I don't know whether this is mansplaining, or mansplaining-adjacent - I think it needs a name actually - let's give it one:

you know when there is a tricky question, and you ask it of a group, and all the women go quiet and start thinking because it really is a tricky one; and a loud man starts talking loudly about another thing, which is vaguely on a similar topic, but is something that EVERYONE KNOWS and is not the thing you asked? And won't shut up to let you clarify what your question is, and goes on and on and on until someone says something to the effect of thanking him for wasting everyone's time, because that's the only way of shutting him up?

What's that thing called?

you get it often in regulatory contexts - there will be a document outlining sets of circumstances and your set of circumstances isn't explicitly shown - it's either not covered, or you need to read the document really carefully to see which element trumps what other element - and while you are trying to get others to sense-check your reading, there is always a man belling "IF A THEN YOU DO Y, IF B THEN YOU DO Z" when you have just carefully explained why elements of both A and B apply in this case

@SenselessUbiquity being a massive knob?!

My husband will walk into the kitchen and tell me I've got the job on too high. All the time.

Reader: he does not cook.

I don't think he has ever boiled an egg. He's never cut a salad up. He has never baked a cake. He's never done anything more than some cheese on toast, or microwaved soup or a tin of beans. He has made chicken nugget meal or frozen pizzas but putting ready made things in an oven doesn't count in my view. And yet he still informs me how I'm cooking the food too high.

(Before I get flamed, cooking is MY thing. I love to cook. The kitchen is my territory and DH does do more than his fair share of household and child chores. He just need to back the fuck off mansplaining cooking to me when he has no idea at all)

My DP regularly tries to explain the topic of my PhD to me, including pointing out why everyone working in the field (including me) is stupid for having missed x, y, z 'obvious' problem with their theories. When I try to explain why those things are not problems he stops listening, talks over me, repeats it's stupid and against 'common sense'. I have spent 10 years working in this subfield, his knowledge of it comes from things I've told him, undergrad level youtube videos and wikipedia.

The Pinky Gloves were a good laugh!

metro.co.uk/2021/04/19/we-dont-need-tampon-disposal-gloves-designed-by-men-14433405/

Thanks for all these! I've had a good time reading them.

A couple more examples from my boyfriend...

A bank statement tells you how much money you've got coming in and how much money has gone out. Well, I don't know about you but I'm glad we've got people like him around to help us understand these things.

I'm a literary translator. Until I met DP, I didn't know that if I didn't know a word or an expression in the source language... I could look it up in an online dictionary! I was just guessing and putting down any old shit before he came along.

I run an animal charity. We have a little shop managed by volunteers. We've been closed a lot over the last year, so we're rebooting this weekend. I've invited local artists to come with their pottery, paintings, cushions, candles etc and the charity gets 10% of what they sell plus rent. It'll be a permenant addition to the classic charity shop bit. Guess what DP thinks is a good idea? Everything should have a price on it. That's right! I should make sure everything has a price on it. I mean seriously. Fuck me.

Oh my goodness how did you ever cope before you invited his breathtaking wisdom into your life??

@OhRene

My husband will walk into the kitchen and tell me I've got the job on too high. All the time.

Reader: he does not cook.

I don't think he has ever boiled an egg. He's never cut a salad up. He has never baked a cake. He's never done anything more than some cheese on toast, or microwaved soup or a tin of beans. He has made chicken nugget meal or frozen pizzas but putting ready made things in an oven doesn't count in my view. And yet he still informs me how I'm cooking the food too high.

(Before I get flamed, cooking is MY thing. I love to cook. The kitchen is my territory and DH does do more than his fair share of household and child chores. He just need to back the fuck off mansplaining cooking to me when he has no idea at all)

years ago there was a MN thread describing non-cooking men who came and stirred pots for no good reason thus annoying the crap out of their wives. The names given to such men were 'spoony fuckers'. My DH is a spoony fucker. He also has a habit of turning things down on the fucking hob when he has no actual idea what my intentions are and when I am in the middle of cooking.

@AmandaHoldensLips

Asking for pain relief post-op after c-section, male doctor explained to me that a c-section isn't particularly painful afterwards. His casual arrogance was utterly breathtaking.

Telling DH about a specific problem with my car key not working. He of course had to examine said car himself, then came back and repeated to me that my car key was not working.

If any man had tried to tell me that c-section recovery was not particularly painful immediately after the surgery I would most likely be in prison.

Not sure if this counts. We had a removable towbar fitted to the car. You have to push a button and twist something to remove it, not very complicated. He demonstrated it to me and then said "do you think your husband will be able to do that, is he the handy sort?". He somehow simultaneously implied that my husband was too simple to push a button, and also that I wasn't even going to be able to attempt it. Incidentally, this man had never met my husband - I had arranged it all and was the one who was there when they fitted it.

@ChocOrange1 I've had that as well. Some bloke came into my shop and starting harping on about a bed and breakfast he was setting up down the roaf. I listened and smiled. He then said, "So... what does hubby do?". I said I didn't have one. He then pointed to the pram next to me where baby was sleeping and raised his eyebrows.
"Sperm donor," was my reply.

I've never seen him since.

Talking to a new colleague. I am head of my department. He is asking me to do something which is in my remit. I explain why it won’t work. He disagrees. I explain some more and then move the conversation on.

He then send me an email explaining to me how to do a really basic bit of my job

I would like all of your congratulations that I did NOT respond and maintained a dignified silence....but I do not forget....

@HappyWipings

Not recent , but I once had Impressionism mansplained to me on a first (and only) date. I have a degree in art history and he knew this. He was so very wrong on every point he made.

Prick.

On every pointillism even

@TheYellowOfTheEgg

I know "mansplaining" originally meant a man explaining something to a more knowledgable woman, but its use has become more widespread and is now used if a man offers any opinion or explanation.

I think the word "mansplaining" is another example of names being used to silence people. Other examples are "Karen", "Boomer", "Snowflake", "Gammon", "Woke", "TERF".

I agree with this I think

There are examples of sexism, ego, general twattishness, all now called ‘mansplaining” because a man does it.

I’m now just assuming my DP knows everything just to be on the safe side...

I think the word "mansplaining" is another example of names being used to silence people.

If that actually was the intent, it's been singularly ineffectual.

How to inflate my tyres at the local petrol station whilst I was inflating them already on my own with no trouble at all.
I gave him a dirty look and he pissed off.