What now makes you uncomfortable that didn't at the time

[drinkingwineoutofamug]

As a teenager I like listening to a certain rock band.
Just found their album on iTunes, downloaded and listened.
I was shocked. One of the songs - sung by grown men - ' she's a 13 yr tease , with bleach blonde hair. Let me eat your cookies , let me see your cookies '
Sat in the bath gob smacked. When I was 15 , this never made me question.

Has anyone else come across something that as a younger person it never crossed your mind but now it's a wtf moment

I watched 'To Sir With Love" the other evening just because it happened to be on and I remember enjoying it years ago. It was a ground-breaking film in its day, confronting racism head on. But I was shocked that the.inspiring teacher character played by Sydney Poitier, while mentoring his female pupils and defending their interests, quite frequently called them sluts, which was apparently more than acceptable at the time.

I thought Springsteen's I'm on fire was about him fancying a woman who had a sugar daddy? I'm sure in the video he was a car mechanic who fancied a woman bringing her car in all the time?

I can remember being so obsessed with boys and sex when I was a teenager from the age of 13 and forever being in some sort of predicament because of it.
But no one ever pulled me aside and explained anything to me.

I was using sex and boys and even at times had meetings with grown arse men for sex, all because I had been orally raped and sexually assaulted when I was younger.

And I was so desperate for love and attention as I didnt ever experience that growing up.
It skewed everything I was constantly looking for sex as I thought that's how you get love and to be wanted. I'm 27 now and it makes me so sad that no one ever stepped in and put a stop to it.
My mum didn't bat an eyelid at me at 14 having a 25 year old boyfriend. 😭.

No body did anything to protect me more and even writing this I feel like a "slag" but I'd be through the most traumatic thing ever, had zero support and just let myself be used and used yet I feel I've done something wrong.
The whole estate knew what happened to me also.

Dr Hook - "Who's gonna iron my shirts...", etc.

My first boyfriend was 25 and I was 16 when we started going out.

He was accepted into our family, his family didn't question it...

We used to go out for drinks and obviously I was underage! Split up when I was 19 when I ended it.

Honestly it creeps me out totally that nobody said how inappropriate it was!

@stressbandit I’m sorry you endured all this. [flower]

"Love the Way You Lie", by Eminem featuring Rihanna. And it's not even "old". They are singing about, (and glamorising imo) Men beating Women up, and apparently Women like the "way it hurts".

“Baby it’s cold outside”- woman repeatedly says no and man will not accept it, prevents her from leaving his house.

Cerys Matthews even did a version of it not too many years ago- what was she thinking?

@stressbandit I'm sorry to hear about your experience with a complete lack of parental care - have you had help or could speak about your experiences now?

In the early 90s I said I wouldn't have sex with a student I had only started dating as I had recently come out of another relationship and wanted to take things slowly. I even said that I did not want to be labelled as someone who sleeps around. When he saw I was serious he dumped me on the spot as said I was frigid. I told friends, but they still kept their friendship with him because that was the done thing - men could make the decisions, women were either in relationships or labelled frigid or sluts.

Sea World. First went when I was 14 and loved it and have been a few times since but got steadily more bothered by it

@Ihopeyourcakeisshit

I thought Springsteen's I'm on fire was about him fancying a woman who had a sugar daddy? I'm sure in the video he was a car mechanic who fancied a woman bringing her car in all the time?

Yes it is about that.

@legosnowqueen

The Heaven 17 song Come Live With Me 'I was 37, you were 17...' - creepy...

Heaven 17 were originally half of the Human League. After their acrimonious split, that song was a huge dig at Phil Oakey, who had picked up two 17 yo s in a nightclub to "dance" in the band.

@Aroundtheworldin80moves
Same thing happened at my school, except the PE teacher wasn't asked to leave.
He remained in post and went on to be promoted to acting headteacher.
Different times eh.

I think it's a bit of a stretch to call '2 Become 1' 'filth'. It's about having sex, and safe sex to boot. And the lyrics are pretty mild: it's not exactly Travis Porter's ' Bring It Back' . . .

I loved Depeche Mode as a teen. They really are a bunch of perverts.

@Aroundtheworldin80moves

A pupil having an affair with the PE teacher. We knew it was wrong (he was asked to resign) but the consensus was she was sixth form, he was young (and hot) so it was ok.

Looking back, it was grooming. He taught her for several years. And was probably older than we thought.

Did you go to Cardinal Newman by any chance? Exact same thing happened there

Went to a convent school in the 50s. We donated 6d every week towards buying a black baby that supposedly lived in their mission somewhere in Africa and when our card was full (5 shillings I think), we were given a picture of our baby and got to name him/her. I think the money really went on gin. What a truly dreadful enterprise and we never questioned it 😱
Bookmark*

I did it in the day when we’d pay a few pennies on a Monday morning and each card was worth 2/6 pence.

I still think of it to this day and I’m in my 60’s now. I can’t actually believe we did it.

In fairness, Poitier's tirade is because they're burning used sanitary towels in the classroom fire. It's maybe not slutty behaviour, but it's pretty rank.
But then, I'll defend that film with my dying breath. I wanted to be Judy Geeson more than anything in the world, and I wasn't even born until the 80s.

@LobotomisedIceSkatingFan

In fairness, Poitier's tirade is because they're burning used sanitary towels in the classroom fire. It's maybe not slutty behaviour, but it's pretty rank. But then, I'll defend that film with my dying breath. I wanted to be Judy Geeson more than anything in the world, and I wasn't even born until the 80s.

Oh yes, I remember that, the kids burning a sanitary towel in the class room and giggling. Not really the thing to do.

I read the book. The film was great too.

We had a teacher in our secondary school who all the girls fancied like mad. He really did look like Kevin Kostner and was lovely, not creepy in any way. Never accused of anything, married with little children.

One day there was me and about five friends in the resource room doing homework. He bounded in and hugged and kissed all of us on the cheek. Five flustered and hormonal fifteen year olds. We very much liked this.

I think today, he would be sacked.

We did find out after a few days why he did it though as the school rumour mill went to work.
He had just received the phone call telling him his life threatening cancer had gone into remission and lost his mind with happiness and relief. We just happened to be the closest people at that moment. He had apparently kissed the male caretaker too.

Can't you tell us the band?

What's the perviness of Depeche Mode?
I've been flinging myself around the dance floors in the 80s completely oblivious.

Another one here who had a friend aged about 14 who would go to hotels with blokes she'd met in the pub - late 20s I think. Her parents must've known and known the blokes as I assume they all drank together?! I can't help thinking how vile those men must've been.
She ended up marrying this complete rat-faced dickhead openly misogynist bloke - I don't know the details but she did escape him eventually late 30s.

Daddy-Long-Legs - the novel. It’s a study of grooming a vulnerable orphan. Yuck. I loved it when I was about 10.

Re. The Famous Five, I always wanted to slap Julian when he volunteered the girls to do some housework. But actually Anne annoyed me even more, always bleating on about how it wasn’t her fault that she was scared, meaning poor George was left to look after her. Why big, brave Julian didn’t stay with his little sister is a mystery

Mark Thomas comedy product, in one episode I rewatched very recently I was horrified to see him encourage a sleazy Harlow MP to draw on a young woman’s stomach. Yes, he was baiting the MP but to use a young woman like that and from a left wing man who supports feminism. Also drew me to the point that during his The night the War broke out audio, he makes a huge financial decision re mortgaging his family home to fund legal action against the government, didn’t tell his wife and thought it was funny to relay her reaction to his audience. I hope Jenny Landreth gave him hell for his misogyny and major disloyalty.

Rewatching has made me feel icky about him to be honest, from finding him funny now question his politics about women.