What now makes you uncomfortable that didn't at the time

[drinkingwineoutofamug]

As a teenager I like listening to a certain rock band.
Just found their album on iTunes, downloaded and listened.
I was shocked. One of the songs - sung by grown men - ' she's a 13 yr tease , with bleach blonde hair. Let me eat your cookies , let me see your cookies '
Sat in the bath gob smacked. When I was 15 , this never made me question.

Has anyone else come across something that as a younger person it never crossed your mind but now it's a wtf moment

"Can't think why history even needed a field trip."

What a sad attitude.

@ArabeI

I agree about gymnastics. The differences in the floor exercises especially. There is more emphasis on performance with the women's Floor, and it's usually to music.

I prefer rhythmic gymnastics where there's less disparity.

I didn't even know that men did rhythmic gymnastics. I don't think they did a few years ago.

"At our school it was a male teacher who used to stand in the girls’ changing room to ’make sure they had a shower’. Girls were 11-12 at the time 🤮"

That's really shocking. Male teachers had nothing to do with girls' PE when I was at secondary school in the 90s and would never have been allowed anywhere near the changing areas.

Gosh - so many things to be offended about from times when I was young! Makes me quite sad really.

My pet hate is the disgusting '50 Shades of Grey' series - 3 whole books devoted to the humiliation and degradation of a young girl. Very nasty.

@Happytobejabbed

Black and White Minstrel Show, Bless this House.

As an adolescent I was slightly uneasy with them but my over powering thought was that they were crap and something better must be on one of the other 2 channels.

But now I’m appalled that the people involved in their making and broadcasting thought that they were suitable.

What's wrong with Bless this House? Sid James and Diana Coupland with Sally James and a brother. Nice, gentle comedy about the scrapes the kids got up to?

@MagicSummer

Gosh - so many things to be offended about from times when I was young! Makes me quite sad really.

My pet hate is the disgusting '50 Shades of Grey' series - 3 whole books devoted to the humiliation and degradation of a young girl. Very nasty.

There are certain books that I have heard of which I will never read....50 Shades of Grey is one of them. And tbh, I've always been discriminating about books which I read. If I wouldn't want a teenager to read something, I'd feel hypocritical if I read it. Sounds a bit snooty, but if you put junk in your body it affects your body. If you put junk in your brain....😳

Woody Allen films.

I also remember when I was 13 there were a lot of girls in my year with boyfriends aged 18, 19 and older. No one batted an eye lid back then but it turns my stomach now.

Charlie Hunnam was asked about one of his co stars in SOA talking about domestic violence, and he laughed and said 'Sean Connery had a good line about that. Sometimes a woman just needs a slap' in a Connery voice. I was really disappointed.

This was raised as a thread on MN about 5-10 years ago. People were appalled, but an older female GP (I think) said it was - if not standard practice - certainly reasonably common practice at one point.

Breast examination when issuing repeat prescriptions for the contraceptive injection? I took it for several years in the late 90s through to mid -00s via various different GPs and not one single one ever felt the need to examine my breasts at any point.

@Thants1

I’ve never mentioned this to anyone before but recently started thinking about it and realised that it might not have been what it seemed. When I was a teenager I was sexually active from around 14 and went to the GP to get the pill thinking that would be sensible. He advised that I went on the contraceptive injection so every 3 months I went to see him to get it and he would make me undress my top half so he could feel my breasts to check for lumps. I’ve never heard of anyone having to do this. Would be Interested to hear if anyone has any opinions on it?

This happened to me too, I was about 16 (early eighties) and I felt uncomfortable at the time but felt had to 'endure it'

I didn't want to ask the question but deep down knew the breast exam wasn't necessary but only in the last 10 years or so has this really bothered me. In fact, this is the first time I've voiced my feeling about it, not even mentioned it to dh.

Lots I agree with on this thread sadly

[quote Angelil]@Thants1 obviously I was not there and so cannot say what it really was but in France (and probably other countries) it is totally normal for sexually active women of any age to have a full gynaecological check every year, including breast examinations. Their parents are present until age 16 I think. But obviously you know if something else was afoot and I am so sorry if that was the case.[/quote]
Indeed. Not France, but elsewhere in Europe, I have a gynae appointment every 18 months. Gynae also does breast check. That being said, it's done very respectfully. It's always done after the gynae check and I am sent to put my bottoms back on before taking my top off. I'm happy to have it done as I'm 100% certain my gynae is a better judge than I am.

This was for the pill in the early 80's

I think I've probably only had about 2 further exams in the ensuing years, one when menopausal and iirc going back on the pill after childbirth. I also always ask for a female gp for anything gynae

One of the things that makes me more uncomfortable now is public swimming pools. Swimming pools seem to be a magnet for pervs anyway but the tendency to building them with or "updating" them to have unisex changing rooms has made it worse.

I swim a lot and have been in pools where a man has drilled holes in changing cubicles to film children, I've been groped while swimming numerous times (funny how women seem able to pass you in lanes without touching you), followed round a bear empty changing room, flashed at, etc.

Public swimming pools do really attract a number of pervy men who take an incredibly long time to shower, considering they are bald and have no hair to wash as well.

Making things unisex just eases their way.

When people leave the toilet seat up. When I was a kid I didn't think about anything coming up. Tbh, DP does always put it down and flush with the toilet lid down.

Also, whilst I just said it, people who flush with the lid open. Absolute psychos 🤮.

Lots of princess fairy tales, like Snow White but many others too such as Sleeping Beauty, give zero choice to the princess. She gets a kiss, or her suitor slays the dragon, and that's it, she's his. Luckily it's always someone young and handsome, not some old creep, but even so, she is a passive figure and has to accept the suitor.

Mind you, I guess I was a feminist at an early age as I can't remember ever thinking this was right!

I first went on the pill when I was 16 in the late 80s and I had regular breast examinations, too (male GP). I thought this was normal?

I remember having breast checks for lumps when I went on the OC pill at 18/19 - given by a female GP because that's who I saw. Nothing remotely weird about it to me, was quite glad that someone who "Knows" did it, because I have pretty lumpy breasts and wasn't sure what was normal. (they're fine, apparently).

@CirclesWithinCircles re unisex changing areas, these should have partitions that go to the floor.

Pervs will always exist.
It's better for mums and dad's to keep their DC with them in changing areas than to be separated.

I wouldn't be happy sending my 9yo son into a separate changing area where I couldn't get to.

Just place marking.

I have to disagree about Bond, I think Daniel Craig's 007 movies are far far more misogynistic than the old ones. The old ones are horribly sexist in terms of treating women like decorate silly little bits of fluff, but I didn't (much) get the sense of extreme and active rage and loathing towards women as I do in the new ones.

Skyfall is one of the worst movies I've ever seen for this reason. Bond quite literally rapes a woman early on. A woman who is being held prisoner as a sex slave, who was sex trafficked as a CHILD. He has one conversation with this woman which isn't sexual and where she displays no sexual interest in him (she begs him to rescue her from her slavery). He breaks into her home and realises she's naked in the shower, so decides to immediately strip naked and just lunge at her with no warning. Of course because it's a film she goes along with it and doesn't scream or push him away, but he basically passes the point of no return before she even knows he's in her home. The fact she's a sex slave and he's her only chance of rescue means she basically doesn't have the option to give or deny consent, and really is a woman who's been raped a hundred thousand times since she was a young child, who's actively being held prisoner, even psychologically capable of properly understanding informed consent?

Later the villain asks Bond to join him in a sadistic game that involves torturing her, and Bond agrees and participates in the torture, in order to avoid blowing his cover. The torture is so severe that the woman is killed during it. Then 30 seconds later a fleet of British military helicopters arrive to arrest the villain, and Bond knew all along they'd be arriving any second. So why participate in the torture game in order to preserve his cover when he knew the military would be arriving - which would obviously blow his cover anyway - any second? Surely it would have been the easiest thing in the world to stall the villain for a couple of minutes and save her life?

There's also Bond's bizarre hostility towards M (calling her "bitch" and projecting weird mummy issues onto her) which comes out of nowhere and is purely because she's a woman.

Speaking of Bond, remember we were all supposed to be totally grateful that the utterly gorgeous 'older woman' Monica Bellucci was cast as a love interest for Bond? Firstly, as Daniel Craig himself pointed out, she wasn't really 'older'. He and Bellucci are about the same age. Secondly, she was only in the film for about 5 minutes. The main 'Bond girl' was played by the 17 years younger Lea Seydoux. So it's fine to cast an 'older' woman so long as Bond gets to shag the much younger hot piece most of the time.

@rosetylersbiggun

I have to disagree about Bond, I think Daniel Craig's 007 movies are far far more misogynistic than the old ones. The old ones are horribly sexist in terms of treating women like decorate silly little bits of fluff, but I didn't (much) get the sense of extreme and active rage and loathing towards women as I do in the new ones.

Skyfall is one of the worst movies I've ever seen for this reason. Bond quite literally rapes a woman early on. A woman who is being held prisoner as a sex slave, who was sex trafficked as a CHILD. He has one conversation with this woman which isn't sexual and where she displays no sexual interest in him (she begs him to rescue her from her slavery). He breaks into her home and realises she's naked in the shower, so decides to immediately strip naked and just lunge at her with no warning. Of course because it's a film she goes along with it and doesn't scream or push him away, but he basically passes the point of no return before she even knows he's in her home. The fact she's a sex slave and he's her only chance of rescue means she basically doesn't have the option to give or deny consent, and really is a woman who's been raped a hundred thousand times since she was a young child, who's actively being held prisoner, even psychologically capable of properly understanding informed consent?

Later the villain asks Bond to join him in a sadistic game that involves torturing her, and Bond agrees and participates in the torture, in order to avoid blowing his cover. The torture is so severe that the woman is killed during it. Then 30 seconds later a fleet of British military helicopters arrive to arrest the villain, and Bond knew all along they'd be arriving any second. So why participate in the torture game in order to preserve his cover when he knew the military would be arriving - which would obviously blow his cover anyway - any second? Surely it would have been the easiest thing in the world to stall the villain for a couple of minutes and save her life?

There's also Bond's bizarre hostility towards M (calling her "bitch" and projecting weird mummy issues onto her) which comes out of nowhere and is purely because she's a woman.

Wow. I need to watch that film again. All of that passed me by! I'm pretty horrified that it did.

@modgepodge

PE lessons seem to bring out quite a few of these!!

I started school in the late 1990s and the rumours in primary were that in secondary everyone had to shower, even if they were on their period, in front of everyone else, and the teachers watched to make sure. Thankfully this wasn’t the case at my school but I think it was in others at that time. Utter madness. Im a teacher and I cannot imagine forcing girls to strip off in front of me and shower - when they change for PE (underwear on!) I make sure I’m looking at some books or my computer screen!!

My school also had PE knickers, cycling shorts optional. Thankfully my mum bought the shorts but there were some girls doing gym and athletics in actual pants. Absolutely bizarre.

At my 90s secondary we had to queue up for the shower, when you reached the front of the queue the teacher marked your name in the register and took your towel. They handed it back when you came back, but if you didn't look wet enough you would be sent back in.

If you had your period you were allowed to wash at the sink but this was marked in the register to ensure that you only did this once a month.

There were no shower cubicles or curtains, you walked through a double row of showers with your arms raised. There was no soap and the water was barely warm so it was pretty pointless.

Completely agree about the Daniel Craig era Bond films being the most misogynist of all. There are actually some good female characters in older Bond films. But the new ones are both really dismissive of women and often outright cruel, treating women as completely disposable as PP highlighted. I hope that Phoebe Waller Bridge's involvement in the next Bond film will improve things