Page 29 | What now makes you uncomfortable that didn't at the time

drinkingwineoutofamug · 2021-05-01T11:18:55+00:00

As a teenager I like listening to a certain rock band. Just found their album on iTunes, downloaded and listened. I was shocked. One of the songs - sung by grown men - ' she's a 13 yr tease , with bleach blonde hair. Let me eat your cookies , let me see your cookies ' Sat in the bath gob smacked. When I was 15 , this never made me question. Has anyone else come across something that as a younger person it never crossed your mind but now it's a wtf moment

mermaidsariel · 02/05/2021 22:16

PE showers. I had nightmares about them . They made me utterly miserable. Girls being forced to be naked in front of their peers and teachers when going through puberty. Absolutely bloody horrific. I moved schools at the beginning of Secondary and all I cared about was whether the new school would force me to be naked in showers after PE.

mamabear715 · 02/05/2021 22:17

Think Whole Lotta Love is bad? You've never listened to Zep's the Lemon Song? ;-)
I'm clocking on now, I was young in the 70's and I do remember being shocked by some things. Straw Dogs with Susan George etc.. as well as some things in my own life.. a horrible coach driver mauling me when I'd gone on a day trip to the coast - with my MUM. Obvs she wasn't there at that moment.. pervert. Similar situations at school & work. It was just accepted, you never felt there was anything you could really DO.
But.. we survive. With good morals too, don't know how it happens!

I can't bear drag either. How did it reach mainstream tv? Although, when I was young, there was Danny La Rue.. (you'd probably all have to google him! )

SunsetBeetch · 02/05/2021 22:22

I remember Danny LaRue! He was a bit different though: he wasn't pretending to be a woman, and didn't guve himself an awful name like Miss Carriage or Cheryl Hole.

I remember really liking a "gay club" back in my student days, and thinking that the Resident DJ, a drag queen who looked like Lily Savage, was pretty cool. But looking back, "she" used to say some awful things to the women.

RoSEbuds6 · 02/05/2021 22:24

@stressbandit so sorry to read that, I agree that someone should have protected you.

RickiTarr · 02/05/2021 22:27

@BlueCowWonders

Diana Spencer - a 19 year old married off to a man 12 years older. Did it seem romantic then? I'm horrified as the mother of a 19 yr old

She was 19 at her engagement. They actually waited until the end of the month in which she turned 20 to have the wedding, which has always made me feel that there was some awareness in the palace of the optics.

Captainj1 · 02/05/2021 22:28

Being taken to a lap dancing bar on a Friday lunchtime by the (male) managers at work. It made you feel special if you were asked to go. They basically picked the ones they thought were good looking. We’ve come so far since the mid 90s…and yet not far enough…

Gwenhwyfar · 02/05/2021 22:44

"Am not sure what you are saying. I realize it was not intended to be a feminist film. But quite a lot of women identifying as feminist do seek to excuse the behaviour of the female lead (played by Close.)

Her behaviour is stalkerish. Yes, they have a fling. Yes, his behaviour is grubby. But her reactions go way beyond simply angry. This isn't a teenager who has been taken advantage of by an older man, this is a woman in her 30s with serious behavioural issues.

Defending stalking and harassment (not to mention the killing of an innocent animal) under the banner of feminism (or any other banner) just doesn't sit well with me."

Well, yeah, I agree. I didn't realise she was anybody's heroine.

Operasinger · 02/05/2021 22:49

Young girl, get out my mind
My love for you is way out of line
Better run girl
You’re much too young girl

Gary Puckett and the Union Gap

Most disturbing!

TurquoiseLemur · 02/05/2021 23:01

@Gwenhwyfar

"Am not sure what you are saying. I realize it was not intended to be a feminist film. But quite a lot of women identifying as feminist do seek to excuse the behaviour of the female lead (played by Close.)

Her behaviour is stalkerish. Yes, they have a fling. Yes, his behaviour is grubby. But her reactions go way beyond simply angry. This isn't a teenager who has been taken advantage of by an older man, this is a woman in her 30s with serious behavioural issues.

Defending stalking and harassment (not to mention the killing of an innocent animal) under the banner of feminism (or any other banner) just doesn't sit well with me."

Well, yeah, I agree. I didn't realise she was anybody's heroine.

I was responding mainly to the comment above by another poster about the MAN'S appalling behaviour (i.e. the character played by Michael Douglas.) It's an opinion I've heard expressed elsewhere. Not the Glenn Close character as a heroine exactly but certainly as a victim.

Gwenhwyfar · 02/05/2021 23:09

"It's an opinion I've heard expressed elsewhere. Not the Glenn Close character as a heroine exactly but certainly as a victim."

I haven't seen it in years. Didn't he tell her it was married and it was just a weekend thing or did he lead her on? I don't remember.

Wantubackforgood · 02/05/2021 23:12

@Billandben444

Went to a convent school in the 50s. We donated 6d every week towards buying a black baby that supposedly lived in their mission somewhere in Africa and when our card was full (5 shillings I think), we were given a picture of our baby and got to name him/her. I think the money really went on gin. What a truly dreadful enterprise and we never questioned it 😱

"Black babies "...catholic school in Scotland early 70 s

LifeOfBriony · 02/05/2021 23:13

@Fbcbsjdb87273

As a small child, I had no idea that golliwogs were meant to be black people. A lot of my classmates were black, and gollies looked nothing like them! Nobody used the word "wog" in front of me.

I thought vaguely that they were some made-up thing like the Clangers or the Moomins!
Bit of a shock when I found out.

Neither did I - I had one and thought it was a black teddy bear. I had lots of the little badges too - to me they were badges representing the toy character.

EverythingsComingUpRoses · 02/05/2021 23:16

Shaking' Stevens 'merry Christmas everyone!'

Line in the song is -I'm going to find that girl underneath the mistletoe and kiss by candle light'
The girl in the video can't be over 10

Only noticed about 5 years ago but every Christmas that song gives me the creeps now

Anoone · 02/05/2021 23:25

How about the film 365 days on Netflix?! It’s beyond appalling & was only made a year or so ago!

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 02/05/2021 23:28

"in the summertime" by Mungo Jerry

"In the summertime, when the weather is hot
You can stretch right up and touch the sky
When the weather's right
You got women, you got women on your mind
Have a drink, have a drive
Go out and see what you can find
If her daddy's rich, take her out for a meal
If her daddy's poor, just do what you feel..."

The implication, for me, is that, if Daddy's poor, then you can just rape the woman if you feel like it because he can't afford to take you through the courts over it.

Took me a while to hear that properly but once I did, I was really angry.

topflower123 · 02/05/2021 23:32

This thread reminded me of a friend in primary school who had started her periods around the age of 9/10. When this happened, I remember her telling me that the male teacher would 'check' if she was on her period i.e: look in her knickers, before allowing her to use the staff bathroom. At the time I didn't really know what a period was etc but looking back I feel horrible thinking about it and also that I didn't do anything!

SittingAround1 · 02/05/2021 23:35

The film Leon. The first time I watched it through innocent eyes and really enjoyed it, many years later I found it really uncomfortable viewing.

Yes to PE knickers. WTF. Fortunately I went to a school with a large ethnic minority population, the religious girls were allowed to wear tracksuit bottoms under their skirts (which looked absolutely ridiculous) which then led the rest of us to rebelling and just wearing tracksuit bottoms in winter and cycling shorts (under skirts ) in summer.

Tals812 · 02/05/2021 23:38

@Billandben444

Went to a convent school in the 50s. We donated 6d every week towards buying a black baby that supposedly lived in their mission somewhere in Africa and when our card was full (5 shillings I think), we were given a picture of our baby and got to name him/her. I think the money really went on gin. What a truly dreadful enterprise and we never questioned it 😱

Oh my word! This made me laugh, especially as a black lady who went to a mission school, good grief!!! So shameless to trick kids. Thanks for your kinds hearts.💕

Gwenhwyfar · 02/05/2021 23:40

"The implication, for me, is that, if Daddy's poor, then you can just rape the woman if you feel like it because he can't afford to take you through the courts over it."

But IS that what it means?

MyDarlingWhatIfYouFly · 02/05/2021 23:54

My violin teacher used to teach groups of 4 or 5 primary school pupils at a time. He'd call us to the piano and put one hand on our backside while we practiced. As a child I thought nothing of it, now I just can't believe he did it.

I'm so relieved that they teach the pants rule etc nowadays - back then I think I just accepted whatever adults did and a lot of friends say the same. Scary, thinking back.

ThanksForAllTheFish · 03/05/2021 00:09

One that hasn’t been mentioned already - Nickelodeon.

All the aimed at tweens and young teens shows like iCarly, victorious, sam&cat, etc are problematic. There is a whole foot fetish thing going on (they even change the Nickelodeon logo to a foot). At one point they asked kids (as in fans) to post photos of their feet on Twitter to win a prize- lots of them did.

Just google Nickelodeon foot fetish / Dan Schneider (the director of all these shoes and the foot guy).

CrisisManagement · 03/05/2021 00:14

@wantanotherdog that is horrible. I am so sorry they did that to you.

RedcurrantPuff · 03/05/2021 00:14

@topflower123

This thread reminded me of a friend in primary school who had started her periods around the age of 9/10. When this happened, I remember her telling me that the male teacher would 'check' if she was on her period i.e: look in her knickers, before allowing her to use the staff bathroom. At the time I didn't really know what a period was etc but looking back I feel horrible thinking about it and also that I didn't do anything!

Wtf?! Disgusting bastard!

Your poor friend

AutomaticMoon · 03/05/2021 00:19

When I was 15 I had moved to South Africa from Eastern Europe & I stayed with my 35 yo female cousin. She had a family friend but he was actually her fuck buddy & she knew he likes to go around & sleep with teenage girls without a condom. I didn’t know any of this, I was just vulnerable as I have ptsd & my cousin knows this, she let him take me out & get me drunk & groom me & have sex with me pretending to use a condom. I was very lonely & sad, in a new country & was flattered by his attention & agreed to have sex but WITH a condom. I was so scared afterwards, I thought I had aids or got pregnant, couldn’t tell ANYBODY cause I was ashamed. She never said sorry & I only recently realised how wrong the whole situation was. Now she’s the executor of my mother’s will & acting very strange, think she might be a narcissist or something.

AutomaticMoon · 03/05/2021 00:24

I just remembered teachers would line us up & beat us with sticks, one teacher, she had a fibreglass stick like a pool cue which she used to discipline us with. Over things, over palms, over knuckles, pulling clumps of hair out (huge male teacher, old, think he had beginning of dementia), slamming heads against tables, pulling sideburns, etc.
One time one foster carer said I stole some earrings which I didn’t, but my father took me to his flat & beat me with a wooden clothes hangers for hours (? It was light when he stared & finished late at night) until I admitted stealing the earrings, even though so hadn’t! I kept making up places where I ‘hid’ them so my father would take a break from beating me & call the foster carer (she was also my primary school teacher) & she would look & not find them...