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What now makes you uncomfortable that didn't at the time

999 replies

drinkingwineoutofamug · 01/05/2021 12:18

As a teenager I like listening to a certain rock band.
Just found their album on iTunes, downloaded and listened.
I was shocked. One of the songs - sung by grown men - ' she's a 13 yr tease , with bleach blonde hair. Let me eat your cookies , let me see your cookies '
Sat in the bath gob smacked. When I was 15 , this never made me question.

Has anyone else come across something that as a younger person it never crossed your mind but now it's a wtf moment

OP posts:
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5
GloriaSilver · 02/05/2021 21:09

Like another poster that Blurred Lines song.

Keepyourdistance000 · 02/05/2021 21:13

Another school coach driver, this one played a tape with "I Touch Myself" by the Divinyls, on a loop with "Head" by Prince.

This was in the early-mid 90's and there were children as young as 9 on that coach, oldest around 18.

Not surprisingly he was another perverted colleague of the driver in my earlier post who kept touching and leering at me.

TurquoiseLemur · 02/05/2021 21:14

@Queenofbeebers

Haven’t RTFT but fatal attraction. He treats her fucking appallingly.

Fucks her, treats her like shit then tries to force her to have an abortion.

The term bunny boiler. Effectively allowing men to behave like cunts then when women react to it they get painted as mad. Fuck that.

He's no angel but SHE treats his wife and daughter appallingly! FGS, they have perfectly consensual sex, you are talking as if he has exploited her.

The manipulative self-harming, the endless phonecalls, the coming round and killing the rabbit. . .all signs of borderline personality disorder and the second two of those are also criminal behaviour.

Have never understood why so many women defend this character's actions in a spirit of feminism.

TagsMum · 02/05/2021 21:16

@Tetherreached

Also, didn't Elvis marry Priscilla when she was 14??
I don't think they married at 14, but I think they did meet when she was 14 and he was 24 ish?
Davygran · 02/05/2021 21:20

@Chicchicchicchiclana

Men in drag. Didn't bother me at all in my drama students days but that was decades ago.
Absolutely agree there
modgepodge · 02/05/2021 21:26

Men in drag is an interesting one. About 4 or 5 years ago I was at a panto (local village hall affair) and the panto dame was just beyond cringe, as they usually are. I commented to a friend afterwards that I wondered how much longer panto dames would be socially acceptable for - after all people used to watch blackface and it’s now widely seen as offensive- isn’t a man parodying a woman similar? Yet drag seems to be getting more popular, not less, with RuPauls drag race on prime time tv and so on.

(I have probably managed to offend someone with this post, apologies if that is the case...)

Gwenhwyfar · 02/05/2021 21:27

"He's no angel but SHE treats his wife and daughter appallingly! FGS, they have perfectly consensual sex, you are talking as if he has exploited her.

The manipulative self-harming, the endless phonecalls, the coming round and killing the rabbit. . .all signs of borderline personality disorder and the second two of those are also criminal behaviour."

Yes, of course. Glenn Close's character is the baddie. This is not a feminist film at all. I think it was mainly supposed to be a warning against infidelity.

IthinkIsawahairbrushbackthere · 02/05/2021 21:28

Oliver Reed and Josephine Burge.

WagnersFourthSymphony · 02/05/2021 21:31

So many of these! I am older than a lot of you and while I agree we shouldn’t re-write history I think we are, and should be, absolutely free to criticise what happened in the past. Just a few:

My Boy Lollipop (Millie Small) Shock

Stressbandit Flowers So sorry you endured all that. Appalling you didn’t have any support.

At school the caretaker had a hut where he’d take a selected girl (aged 11-13) during break time ‘to teach them kissing’ and they’d emerge giggling. The rest of us scorned those girls. The caretaker was just a fact of life and it never occurred to anyone to report it.

And yes to the ghastly communal showers with the gym mistress watching and ticking everyone off on the menstruation chart. My periods came a lot more frequently in those days, and she even wondered if I needed medical help...

Later at school a teacher in his 30s started an affair with a 14 year old girl in my class. They spent ages together in the stock room. We all thought she was terribly grown up. They married when she left school and were still together many years later. The head surely knew, because everyone did, but did nothing.

Iamaperiwinkle and other PPs - Yes, our college doctor H was like that – in fact he was notorious. Older students would warn: ‘Don’t go to Dr H with a twisted ankle, he’ll get you to undress and ask if you’re on the Pill.’ (It had a capital letter in those days because it was so significant.) I went to Dr H for another problem and he asked me if I slept with my boyfriend (I’d just started to and felt guilty) so he said condoms v unreliable, I should go on the pill, and made an appointment to see him at his private clinic out of college. So not only did I have a lengthy totally unnecessary breast examination (such a common abuse that medical students even had an acronym for it: TUBES), but a lengthy totally unnecessary vaginal examination too. I was too naive to query any of it, let alone mention it to anyone but my boyfriend, who thought it was out of order but AFAIK no one ever made a formal complaint. Back in the ‘70s if you weren’t a virgin you were considered completely lax and untrustworthy.
He must be long dead. TBH I did toy with complaining back in the ‘90s - too embarrassed to pursue it, but this time more embarrassed by my naivety than anything else.

BTW, Alf Garnett was satirical, held up as a figure of contempt and mockery. It was a sign that the times weren’t as progressive as scriptwriter Johnny Speight that anyone took Alf seriously. Dandy Nichols as Alf’s wife was fab, but at the time equally a figure of fun, surprising people by being sharp while also being plain and fat and old. But the other characters are showing their age and Cherie Blair’s dad’s role isn’t looking as cool as he used to.

Not sure we’ve progressed as far as we’d like to think, TBH.

lionheart · 02/05/2021 21:31

@babbaloushka

Even the differences in marking of Olympic Gymnastics floor routines is vastly different, they are expected to smile and pose and look entertaining. The way Simone Biles propels herself to 3 times her own heigh and then has to smile is a glaring disparity between how the males are expected to compete, on pure skill and ability.
Absolutely. It's even more jarring when they make a mistake or slip and still have to slap on a smile or add a hand flourish.
TurquoiseLemur · 02/05/2021 21:32

@Whippet

School friend of mine had a father who used to beat her and her brother with a belt on their bare buttocks Sad Sad Sad. I used to walk to school with her and on a Monday she would always tell us whether it had been a 'good' or 'bad' weekend.

Obviously I was shocked by it, but probably I mostly felt grateful that my dad wasn't like that. I didn't think I could do anything about it - never considered telling my parents or school or anything.

I think her about her sometimes and once looked her up on Facebook. I hope her father died a horrible painful death.

There was a girl at our secondary school (this at the very end of the 70s) who was, a lot of people said, frequently raped by her father. The father also pimped her out to other men. I didn't know this girl well but seeing her haunted face every day, I could well believe it.

What the hell were the teachers doing about that? Social services? The police? We, the kids, just assumed there was nothing we could do, that that was simply the way things were. There is a HUGE number of (now) elderly adults out there who should be hanging their heads in shame at the way they habitually let down children.

BeenAsFarAsMercyAndGrand · 02/05/2021 21:35

I've just googled the lyrics to my boy lollipop... what's wrong with them?

KatharinaRosalie · 02/05/2021 21:37

"Back to the Future", was watching it the other day. Remember the scene where Biff is 'struggling' in the car with Lorraine? In fact trying tor rape or at least assault her. There are many people around the car, she is screaming for help, but he tells them to go away, and ...they all just shrug and walk away like it's the most normal thing.

TurquoiseLemur · 02/05/2021 21:40

@Gwenhwyfar

"He's no angel but SHE treats his wife and daughter appallingly! FGS, they have perfectly consensual sex, you are talking as if he has exploited her.

The manipulative self-harming, the endless phonecalls, the coming round and killing the rabbit. . .all signs of borderline personality disorder and the second two of those are also criminal behaviour."

Yes, of course. Glenn Close's character is the baddie. This is not a feminist film at all. I think it was mainly supposed to be a warning against infidelity.

Am not sure what you are saying. I realize it was not intended to be a feminist film. But quite a lot of women identifying as feminist do seek to excuse the behaviour of the female lead (played by Close.)

Her behaviour is stalkerish. Yes, they have a fling. Yes, his behaviour is grubby. But her reactions go way beyond simply angry. This isn't a teenager who has been taken advantage of by an older man, this is a woman in her 30s with serious behavioural issues.

Defending stalking and harassment (not to mention the killing of an innocent animal) under the banner of feminism (or any other banner) just doesn't sit well with me.

HerRoyalRisesAgain · 02/05/2021 21:42

The 19 year old I was having sex with at 14. What the fuck was I doing?! He plied me with drugs and alcohol and he was well aware of my age.

WagnersFourthSymphony · 02/05/2021 21:49

@BeenAsFarAsMercyAndGrand

I've just googled the lyrics to my boy lollipop... what's wrong with them?
What do you do with a lollipop?
Bookloverjay · 02/05/2021 21:51

@transformandriseup

I used to love watching On The Buses because my dad liked it.

But now Shock

On the buses is creepy now. Letchy men perving on very young women
OwningAllMyMistakes · 02/05/2021 21:59

@RestingPandaFace

All night long by Rainbow was on the radio the other day...

You're sorta young but you're overage
I don't care cos I like your style
Don't know about your brain but you look alright

Yep anything by Rainbow is questionable but it’s of it’s time. Still you could be listening to Whole lotta Love by Led Zeppelin and catching these lyrics

A-way, way down inside
I'm gonna give ya my love
I'm gonna give ya every inch of my love
I'm gonna give ya my love
Hey!
Alright! Let's go!
Whole lotta love
Want to whole lotta love
Want to whole lotta love
Want to whole lotta love
Way down inside
Woman, you need, yeah
Love
My, my, my, my
My, my, my, my
Lord
Shake for me girl
I wanna be your backdoor man 😳
Hey, oh, hey, oh
Hey, oh, hey, oh
Ooh
Oh, oh, oh, oh

Joeblack066 · 02/05/2021 22:02

Billie Eilish? Singing about graphic sex as a youngster? All over everywhere in lingerie today and she’s 18? And everyone is ok with that?

SunsetBeetch · 02/05/2021 22:10

@Keepyourdistance000

Another school coach driver, this one played a tape with "I Touch Myself" by the Divinyls, on a loop with "Head" by Prince.

This was in the early-mid 90's and there were children as young as 9 on that coach, oldest around 18.

Not surprisingly he was another perverted colleague of the driver in my earlier post who kept touching and leering at me.

Ugh that reminds me of our pervy bus driver. He clearly had a thing for me but I ignored him as much as possible. He was kind of a friend to the kids, and some of the girls would stand up at front and chat to him as he drove.

He once full on snogged my friend when we got the bus home after Youth Club one night. I was kind of horrified but said nothing. Everyone else seemed to think he was great Confused

TheSmallClangerWhistlesAgain · 02/05/2021 22:12

The film Alfie with Michael Caine. His character is held up as a cheeky hero when he's a pompous, cocky twat who's awful to his girlfriend.

Those "Confessions of..." films with Robin Askwith in. The driving instructor one made me feel a bit ill and I'm surprised it got a general release.

Another vote for "Flowers in the Attic" too. It's not just the incest bit, it's the endless descriptions of little girls' underwear and scenes where they wet themselves.

TwinkleToesForever · 02/05/2021 22:13

Get out of my dreams ( get into my car) Billy Ocean. Totally rapey

The Breakfast Club and 16 candles. Full of toxic masculinity, upskirting etc. Best movies ever when I was 15. Now completely gross 🤢 they have not aged well those films!

springisacoming · 02/05/2021 22:13

PE showers, again. Lining up naked as two teachers watching as we walked through the showers and make us go back and walk slower if we were rushing so we were properly "showered". So humiliating and bloody weird that the teachers would do that and think it's normal.

Male teacher punishing girls chatting in class by sitting with them in a stationery cupboard. He would have two chairs opposite so knees were nearly touching and just stare at various parts of your body. Friends would wait patiently outside until you were released.

Male PE teacher dating 6th former.

Watching films of the 50s when often the hero of the film treats women appallingly, slapping, spanking, shaking commonplace.

SunsetBeetch · 02/05/2021 22:13

Just to clarify: the school bus I got was also a general service bus.

Nishky · 02/05/2021 22:16

@KisstheTeapot14 I have just googled it!

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