What now makes you uncomfortable that didn't at the time

[drinkingwineoutofamug]

As a teenager I like listening to a certain rock band.
Just found their album on iTunes, downloaded and listened.
I was shocked. One of the songs - sung by grown men - ' she's a 13 yr tease , with bleach blonde hair. Let me eat your cookies , let me see your cookies '
Sat in the bath gob smacked. When I was 15 , this never made me question.

Has anyone else come across something that as a younger person it never crossed your mind but now it's a wtf moment

The song 'Summer of 69' is about Bryan Adams getting his first guitar. "I got my first real six string, over at the five and dime.' That is what the song is about. He even gave an interview on it.

drinkingwineoutofamug

No the one by Brian adams , the other guy.
About a girl he didn't know her name, but it was a night to remember*

You mean the Four Seasons December 1963

@Ofallthebarsinalltheworld

I don't know if this still happens. And it's always made my stomach turn. Stripping a baby naked in a room full of strangers to get weighed.

I had my ds at 18 and my dd at 30. Both times I refused for my children to be naked in front of strangers and both times was made to feel like shit from HV.

2000 and 2011

Working as a nurse and having to strip off in front of colleagues before and after my shift to change into/out of uniform or face discipline.

I had my babies in 2006 and 2008 and they were never weighed naked. HV told me they only did it if there were specific concerns re baby losing or not gaining weight

I had mine last ear and they were weighed naked because the nappy can contain enough urine to really skew the measurement. I can totally understand not wanting it to happen like that if there is a history of abuse/trauma for the mum, but it's not an abusive practice per se. Really.

People I know that had children in a very hedonistic lifestyle. I was always uncomfortable if a child was taken to a party for example, but now I’d be phoning SS.

I now realise that there is a huge big line between being hedonistic as a single person...
...and being a parent. I had one boyfriend who wanted the snip from his twenties as he said he was too hedonistic ever to father a child. He was right. He’s dead now from too many drugs, but I will always respect that he didn’t want to pretend that bringing a child into the world was OK if you are anywhere near not being able to give them 100% security.

Also the HV will cast an eye over those areas of a baby to check for injury. It happens.

@Ofallthebarsinalltheworld I think it’s fine for a baby to be naked in front of strangers in a medical setting. I don’t think it’s fine for inappropriately intimate and over friendly family members. For me that is key, the ‘alarm bells’ should ring for people you would never think they should, your family or friends. Because that is where danger for women and children lie 90% of the time.

@stressbandit

I can remember being so obsessed with boys and sex when I was a teenager from the age of 13 and forever being in some sort of predicament because of it. But no one ever pulled me aside and explained anything to me.

I was using sex and boys and even at times had meetings with grown arse men for sex, all because I had been orally raped and sexually assaulted when I was younger.

And I was so desperate for love and attention as I didnt ever experience that growing up.
It skewed everything I was constantly looking for sex as I thought that's how you get love and to be wanted. I'm 27 now and it makes me so sad that no one ever stepped in and put a stop to it.
My mum didn't bat an eyelid at me at 14 having a 25 year old boyfriend. 😭.

No body did anything to protect me more and even writing this I feel like a "slag" but I'd be through the most traumatic thing ever, had zero support and just let myself be used and used yet I feel I've done something wrong.
The whole estate knew what happened to me also.

I'm so so sorry this happened to you 💐

@Billandben444

Went to a convent school in the 50s. We donated 6d every week towards buying a black baby that supposedly lived in their mission somewhere in Africa and when our card was full (5 shillings I think), we were given a picture of our baby and got to name him/her. I think the money really went on gin. What a truly dreadful enterprise and we never questioned it 😱

@Billandben444

I was at a convent school in the 60s. On the classroom wall, there was a chart showing a staircase to heaven. Every time we brought in 1d, we could move a little cut out paper black child one step up the staircase to heaven. I think the money went to the Catholic Missionary Society. And it was never questioned at my school either.

The film Lost in Translation doesn't stand up well

@everydayiwritethebook And it was reported in the papers that she was examined to prove her virginity and underwent fertility tests before the wedding.

Yes! I was 15 at the time and was appalled that this was so widely reported (including all over the Australian media). A horrific invasion of Diana's privacy. It confirmed what the rest of society was already trying to tell me that girls' and women's bodies were public property to be picked over and policed. However, it strengthened my resolve to defend my own sexual privacy, which certainly came under fire once I left school. Dirty old men in the workplace wanting to know if I had a boyfriend and what I'd got up to at the weekend urgh!

BTW, how could anyone "prove virginity" in this era of tampons, vigorous exercise and, ahem, healthy self-exploration? Spiteful old fogeys need their heads flushed.

*@Billandben444, that practice was mentioned in Brideshead Revisited. A young girl from an aristocratic Catholic family asked a guest for five shillings (IIRC) so she could have yet another little black Cordelia named after her.

*Serious money then - you could buy 10 Mars Bars for that when I was a kid!

@stressbandit

I can remember being so obsessed with boys and sex when I was a teenager from the age of 13 and forever being in some sort of predicament because of it. But no one ever pulled me aside and explained anything to me.

I was using sex and boys and even at times had meetings with grown arse men for sex, all because I had been orally raped and sexually assaulted when I was younger.

And I was so desperate for love and attention as I didnt ever experience that growing up.
It skewed everything I was constantly looking for sex as I thought that's how you get love and to be wanted. I'm 27 now and it makes me so sad that no one ever stepped in and put a stop to it.
My mum didn't bat an eyelid at me at 14 having a 25 year old boyfriend. 😭.

No body did anything to protect me more and even writing this I feel like a "slag" but I'd be through the most traumatic thing ever, had zero support and just let myself be used and used yet I feel I've done something wrong.
The whole estate knew what happened to me also.

Stress Bandit I'm so sorry this happened. I read a book recently by Gemma Ward who had a similar upbringing and wrote about how she tried to process it. It may be of interest?

Details here: hercanberra.com.au/life/people/ginger-gorman-speaks-with-author-gemma-carey/

Sorry Gemma Carey

Page 3. When i was about 13 i used to look at page 3 and wish i looked like them and had the sort of body that men would want to look at. Now i just think what the fuck was that all about? 16 and 17 year olds with their tits out in a newspaper like it's normal. And the battle it took to stop the sun doing it like trying to ban it was an attack on the working class.

Gollies. Children collected golly badges, they were the symbol of a jam producer. Also the toys. Nowadays people know what they represent, yet some still lament their disappearance.

@OneStepOneStumble yes! I was a huge Busted fan back in the day. I recently added their albums to my Spotify and was horrified.

What about All The Way? Which is basically accusing his girlfriend of being a tease because she changes her mind about having sex? And implies she should just get on and do it because of his blue balls and because it's so unfair on him

Robbie Williams snogging all those young girls on stage. There are video compilations ffs.
Horrible sleeze-bag.

@Ofallthebarsinalltheworld

I don't know if this still happens. And it's always made my stomach turn. Stripping a baby naked in a room full of strangers to get weighed.

I had my ds at 18 and my dd at 30. Both times I refused for my children to be naked in front of strangers and both times was made to feel like shit from HV.

2000 and 2011

Working as a nurse and having to strip off in front of colleagues before and after my shift to change into/out of uniform or face discipline.

Babies being weighed without their clothes on serves two purposes. One, it gives a more accurate weight without a potentially very full nappy or excessive clothing. Two, it allows the health visitor to check their body for any warning signs.

When I took DD1 to weigh in clinics, we were all too focused on our own babies to even notice when the other babies didn’t have clothes on. She was also only completely naked for a couple of minutes at most.

You should just get that deleted because you're a massive rape apologist not because it's the wrong thread.

@ThankYouHunkyJesus

You should just get that deleted because you're a massive rape apologist not because it's the wrong thread.

Took the words right out of my mouth

Ooh just thought of another one. People saying that rape shouldn't be reported because it ruins men's lives.oh no wait, that still happens.