What now makes you uncomfortable that didn't at the time

[drinkingwineoutofamug]

As a teenager I like listening to a certain rock band.
Just found their album on iTunes, downloaded and listened.
I was shocked. One of the songs - sung by grown men - ' she's a 13 yr tease , with bleach blonde hair. Let me eat your cookies , let me see your cookies '
Sat in the bath gob smacked. When I was 15 , this never made me question.

Has anyone else come across something that as a younger person it never crossed your mind but now it's a wtf moment

@Cocolapew

Don't Stand So Close to Me by The Police

Sting wrote that about his personal experiences as a teacher. It’s the child making the teacher uncomfortable

The film labyrinth x goblin king ( David Bowie)who is probably early 40s in love with the obvious teenager!!

He's the Villain! What would you want him to say? "Sarah, if only you had been older I would have lured you into my labyrinth and made you mine... but as you are only 14 it's obvious that this is an inappropriate relationship. Here you have your brother Toby back and I'll find someone else to kidnap..."

The film would have been over in 5 minutes!

@Jellykat

The majority of telly programmes in the 70s! Love thy neighbour, The black and white minstrels, even Mrs Slocombe going on about her pussy in Are you being served, it really was vile but we never questioned it at the time (and i was around 10)

Mind your language was awful and racist too.

Grease is awful, I don't think anyone has mentioned it yet.

@Nora1978

Hearing about all these paedophile teachers, drivers and doctors who abused their position of trust makes me wonder how many are out there working and having these thoughts but not yet acting on them.

I'd like to hope that the vast majority are not! But sadly, I think it's more common than we'd like.

@TipseyTorvey

I read an article today about girl gymnasts wanting to wear full length costumes and it blew my mind that of course it's horrendous that young girls are made to wear what is essentially sparkling swimsuits and do cutesy moves in what is actually an incredibly robust athletic sport. There's been so many exposes lately about paedophile gymnast trainers but it only occurred to me today that girls should absolutely not be wearing tiny swimsuits whilst they split their legs in the air. I did gymnastics for ages and didn't even question it.

I gave up gymnastics at the age of 14 - after 10 years of it - because I felt uncomfortable in a leotard. It never occurred to me to ask to wear something different or tell my mum. No one asked me for a reason either I was allowed to stop doing it. But it makes me sad now after all that training how easily I gave up

Another one who is sad about the gym knickers issue with PE.

I actually was involved in some research years ago about factors that lead to women giving up exercise during teenage years.

School PE kit was a heavily referenced factor.

It's just sad that anyone thought it was appropriate.

Plus, skirts for PE. Just why?

What on earth is wrong with being able to wear shorts or tracksuit bottoms?

I very much hope all of this has changed now and that people can wear what they're comfortable in.

We used to have the same aertex T shirt (which in itself was fine) but navy gym knickers that were basically literal knickers. The skirt was only to be worn for certain things like netball. So even for things like athletics - the 1500m, 800m, sprints, hurdles, throws, high jump - we had to do it in gym knickers. What a way to make women hate sport.

@Nora1978

Ally Macbeal - I used to love its quirkiness and humour but watched it the other day and found her incredibly irritating and an awful portrayal of a female lawyer - teeny skirts, pining for a man, having neurotic meltdowns every five minutes. Sheesh!

I’m so with you, Nora.

Used to love it (why??) maybe the quirkiness. It’s actually unwatchable for me now. She behaves like a fucking idiot.

Ok, I’ve just looked up the lyrics to ‘Don’t stand too close to me’ and I bloody hope Sting didn’t base the whole thing on experience as in the song it’s definitely reciprocated, so apologies. I genuinely heard that said on a documentary though.

@GintyMcGinty

So many tv programmes and films.

The Tom Hanks films Big is really creepy because a little boy (in a mans body) has sex with an adult woman.

Even things like Star Trek TNG, DS9 and Voyager which at the time I thought were awesomely progressive with female captains, black captains, gay characters - all make me squirm rewatching.

I think Big would be creepy if the woman he had sex with knew he was a child really, but she didn't. Well, not until the end, and then she was appropriate with with how she said goodbye. To me Big was all about a kid who wanted to be bigger, got his wish, and then had to deal with the consequences.

So many films from the 80s & 90s
Splash - Tom Hanks takes a vulnerable (naked) Daryl Hannah back to his flat and keeps her there
American Beauty - Kevin Spacey pervs over his teenage daughter's school friend.
All those bloody Scandi, etc, police programmes. All of them, ALL of them, about violent sexual crimes against women. In fact, the whole weird fetishisation of sexual violence against women in crime fiction/ tv drama

@skybluee

Another one who is sad about the gym knickers issue with PE.

I actually was involved in some research years ago about factors that lead to women giving up exercise during teenage years.

School PE kit was a heavily referenced factor.

It's just sad that anyone thought it was appropriate.

Plus, skirts for PE. Just why?

What on earth is wrong with being able to wear shorts or tracksuit bottoms?

I very much hope all of this has changed now and that people can wear what they're comfortable in.

We used to have the same aertex T shirt (which in itself was fine) but navy gym knickers that were basically literal knickers. The skirt was only to be worn for certain things like netball. So even for things like athletics - the 1500m, 800m, sprints, hurdles, throws, high jump - we had to do it in gym knickers. What a way to make women hate sport.

School PE in general was horrific

We wore the skirts rather than just the pants.

But the communal showers/changing, mixed swimming lessons (I was a late developer so never had the embarrassment of my mum having to write me a note to excuse me from swimming, so the boys didn’t take the piss out of me for having periods but they did for being flat chested, as it was so obvious in a swimsuit) for example.

My DM told me that our family GP while I was a teenager often wanted to intimately examine her when there was no need to. She never has reported him.

He is still working and is a highly respected GP in DM's town. I wonder how many other women or girls he's done the same to :(

I'm 40. I have clear memories of it being absolutely fine to use "gay" or "homo" as an insult in my community growing up.

@Jellykat

The majority of telly programmes in the 70s! Love thy neighbour, The black and white minstrels, even Mrs Slocombe going on about her pussy in Are you being served, it really was vile but we never questioned it at the time (and i was around 10)

I love Mrs Slocombe and her pussy! How they got away with it though I'll never know. I was idly watching a couple of months ago and was greatly amused but my dds were . As a child it went over my head and my parents too to be fair. My mum recently said to me "oh dear, you can't say pussy anymore can you?" She's 81 and we did laugh. I grew up with Carry On films and loved them. If I watched one now there'd be lots of discomfort but some things would still be funny. It's all in the facial expressions for me. Deeply sexist though. Fawlty Towers wasn't something I found very funny. Just annoying. I adored the Two Ronnies.

At secondary school in the 90s, and experienced many things mentioned. Pupils sleeping with teachers, and young teens (including me) sexually active with much older men, which was ignored and to some extent facilitated by teachers end parents (including my own). Utterly bizzarre and would be seen for what it is now, I hope.
Also the awful pe knickers, humiliating changing and showers - was almost just accepted as one of the character building elements of school.
In terms of large age gaps, I do think those relationships can sometimes be healthy, and would look at each case individually.

@gelatodipistacchio

I'm 40. I have clear memories of it being absolutely fine to use "gay" or "homo" as an insult in my community growing up.

I complained to my son’s school about this as children were flinging round “gay” as an insult only a couple of years ago and they couldn’t have given less of a fuck. My children have been brought up that being gay is normal and so calling someone that is not an insult, and when it’s used in that way it is hate speech.

In a similar vein, the use of the words spastic and retard were acceptable when I was a child. Awful.

@BlueCowWonders me and my friends were 17/18 when the engagement was announced, and found it creepy. People joked that he only married someone so young because there were no aristocratic virgins his own age. And it was reported in the papers that she was examined to prove her virginity and underwent fertility tests before the wedding. I remember my dad saying that poor girl is just a brood mare.

@GintyMcGinty

So many tv programmes and films.

The Tom Hanks films Big is really creepy because a little boy (in a mans body) has sex with an adult woman.

Even things like Star Trek TNG, DS9 and Voyager which at the time I thought were awesomely progressive with female captains, black captains, gay characters - all make me squirm rewatching.

LORD YES!

I just rewatched the entire M.A.S.H. series with Alan Alda. LOVED it as a child, watched it with my dad every week. The nurses apparently existed to "please" the doctors...almost like those lions that are reared in captivity for canned hunts!

As for Star Trek...I heard someone say recently, "Well, first black and female Star Fleet officer...AND THEY MADE HER A TELEPHONE OPERATOR!!!"

@WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll

Bryan Adams would have been 9 in the Summer of 1969. It's definitely not a song about sweet romantic love and the activities described most certainly don't correspond with what a 9yo would have been doing.

I'm fairly certain Bryan Adams didn't write about being a 9 year old with a guitar, a band with the guys from school, a job and a girlfriend. What exactly are the offensive lyrics in this song? My kids think summer of 69 refers to the sex but so what - it was him and his girlfriend? Am I missing something?

Agree with everything else. My best friend was abused by her GP in very similar circumstances (amazingly he was convicted years later).
Bill Wyman was disgusting.

@catsareme14

Gilbert o Sullivan singing Claire

What is wrong about this song? It was written by Gilbert O’Sullivan when he was babysitting his 3 year old goddaughter. If you read the lyrics you will see it’s about the trials and tribulations of him babysitting an energetic 3 year old who is wearing him out.

My mum’s cousin married her teacher. They stared ‘dating’ when she was 15 (I think he was 23 years older than her)
Her parents knew about it while she was still at school & were happy because he had a good job!!
They got married when she was 18 (Big wedding like it was a normal thing) they did stay together until he died & had kids.

I’ve got a 15 year old daughter, to say I would hit the roof if this happened now is an understatement!

You can't just blame the song "Thank heaven for little girls" in Gigi.
The whole film is about Gigi being raised to be the hero's mistress and then slightly spoiling things by getting him falling in love with her and marrying him instead. And the film is sugar coating the original Collette story.
Anyone one thinking it was a "nice" story is kind of missing the point.

I always felt uncomfortable by "On the Buses", Benny Hill etc. And was pretty shocked by how much our teachers didn't care about a lot of the things going on to their pupils - but they didn't have a legal responsibility in those days...

Sadly, I’m familiar with many of these remembrances too.

Tabloid Page 3 girls (although the times when those aged 16/17 used to freak me out actually).

Definitely Bill Wyman and Mandy Smith I found fascinating at the time (she was older than me).

Secondary school in the mid-90s featured maths, history and pe teachers at my school all in completely inappropriate relationships with sixth formers. They (pupils) were often thought to be mature and grown up by the rest of us pupils. So wrong!!

Gym knickers for girls for indoor sports lessons whilst boys were allowed to wear shorts. We were often embarrassed and moaned but ultimately just accepted it.

Year 10/11 girls in sexual relationships with men in their 20s. Also seen as mature by peers. How wrong we were!

Frequent use of the word spastic, retard and long, we just didn’t realise at the time.

I don't know if this still happens. And it's always made my stomach turn. Stripping a baby naked in a room full of strangers to get weighed.

I had my ds at 18 and my dd at 30. Both times I refused for my children to be naked in front of strangers and both times was made to feel like shit from HV.

2000 and 2011

Working as a nurse and having to strip off in front of colleagues before and after my shift to change into/out of uniform or face discipline.