What now makes you uncomfortable that didn't at the time

[drinkingwineoutofamug]

As a teenager I like listening to a certain rock band.
Just found their album on iTunes, downloaded and listened.
I was shocked. One of the songs - sung by grown men - ' she's a 13 yr tease , with bleach blonde hair. Let me eat your cookies , let me see your cookies '
Sat in the bath gob smacked. When I was 15 , this never made me question.

Has anyone else come across something that as a younger person it never crossed your mind but now it's a wtf moment

Times change and we cannot and should not rewrite history although viewing the past from the viewpoint of today is often uncomfortable. I am older and find the "incorrectness" of tv, songs and attitudes of the days of my youth far less offensive than some of the issues my daughter has faced and I am now reading about as a result of Everyone's Invited. It seems as though sexism and sexual abuse has moved on from Carry On style innuendo in my day to the hard porn equivalent nowadays

@stressbandit I'm so sorry you went through that. You are younger than my youngest child and I am appalled that you suffered without motherly support

Back in 1989 through to around 1993 I was repeatedly touched and stared at by the man who often drove my school coach or my friend's coach. He was in his 50s, I was in my early teens. He used to pat or pinch my bottom as I boarded or walked past him. He also often commented on my bottom, turning round to watch me walk past, and even went so far as to hug me one day, touching my chest while doing so.

He stared at me at every opportunity.

He openly read books about rape while waiting to pick up at the school.

As a naive girl I was flattered by his attention and my friends and I used to joke about it. But looking back, I realise how inappropriate and wrong his behaviour was. I don't know if he did similar to anyone else.

I told my DM at the time and she laughed it off, saying it probably made him feel young again.

I don't know if it would be worth the hassle of police interviews etc if he is still alive and it may well be my word against his unless I can find out if any other girls were also affected.

I didn't actually see the books he read, but he did read quite a lot and was told by another girl that they were about rape, and she said he's a dirty old man.

Many of his colleagues were also a bit creepy, e.g. staring/leering at teenage girls, but didn't touch them AFAIK.

"My, what a pert little behind you have" was just one of the things this disgusting man said to me...at the age of 15

Also other drivers keeping me behind to chat on the coach after everyone else had got off and gone home (mine was the last stop).

Top Gun. Saw it recently and Tom Cruise is so sleazy and so inappropriate. The bit where he goes into the women's bathroom is just deeply uncomfortable. Kelly McGillis is still cool and still gorgeous. You wonder why she falls for such a creepy loser. You can tell though that she knows she is worth more but just kind of gets caught up in the moment. Like "He's a piece of shit, but this could be fun maybe."

@Aroundtheworldin80moves

A pupil having an affair with the PE teacher. We knew it was wrong (he was asked to resign) but the consensus was she was sixth form, he was young (and hot) so it was ok.

Looking back, it was grooming. He taught her for several years. And was probably older than we thought.

Just wondering if you went to my school.. although the school I went to had about 7 of those scandals. I know one of the teachers who had an affair with a pupil. We all thought he was well into his mid to late 40's. It wasn't until he got rid of his beard that we realised he was much younger and was actually only mid 20's. I personally know someone who did actually start seeing a teacher whilst in school. The relationship did continue for a good few years out of school too but ended a while back.

@PoppyWoods

Easy by the Commodores

I used to think it was a love song....

What’s wrong with the lyrics?

A lot of the songs by The Police are creepy as hell. Every breath you take... I'll be watching you...

Oh and yes to the PE teacher affair thing with 6th formers 🙄 1970s

Girl in our school in Year Nine being made to leave for six months to have a baby.

Regular queue of men in cars picking up girls from the school at the end of the day.

Public shaming of those without uniform because family couldn’t afford it.

The “free dinners” line in Secondary so that the dinner lady knew not to charge.

Teacher telling my mum I must have a learning issue as my dad was in prison.

Teacher actually writing a report that would be seen by employers saying I was useless and lazy (just no good at Tech).

All 90’s

@DinosaurDiana

Drag. Sorry but I just can’t stand it.

Me too. I used to feel absolutely fine with it. But now it gives me the creeps in exactly the same way that blackface makeup does. Funnily, it was Grayson Perry, ages ago, who first made me realise I hated it. He was banging on about Clare his woman persona on the radio and I realised I was really irritated thinking, no actual woman dresses like that. That is in no way a representation of your inner female. Of your inner toy dolly maybe but not a woman. I felt angry that I was supposed to just accept that such a lauded man thought this was womanly when it was a theatrical child-doll image that he had created.How did he – a bloody artist, supposedly with a keener vision on the world than most – see women if that's what his inner woman is?

The film labyrinth x goblin king ( David Bowie)who is probably early 40s in love with the obvious teenager!!

@Heronatemygoldfish which other songs by The Police are creepy?? Clearly yes Every Breath You Take is. But I can’t think of lots of their other songs that are...well any of their other songs that are creepy.

Is Stan meant to be funny?

To us teenagers, we thought Stan was funny in a dark twisted humour sort of way. I never bought an album of his though and the radio versions were heavily edited so we had no idea really.

I came across the lyrics recently and they really sickened me. 'Hey Slim, that's my girlfriend screaming in the trunk, but I didn't slit her throat, I just tied her up, see I ain't like you. Cos if she suffocates she'll suffer more and then she'll die too!'

See also, the songs 'Kim' and 'Kill You', graphic fantasising about murdering his wife, raping his own mother and choking whores 'til the vocal cords don't work in her throat no more'. Vile human being.

Maybe a slight exaggeration then - @Cccc1111 but I know there's another one that made me a bit :-/ last time I heard it but I can't remember which one it was!

The majority of telly programmes in the 70s!
Love thy neighbour, The black and white minstrels, even Mrs Slocombe going on about her pussy in Are you being served, it really was vile but we never questioned it at the time (and i was around 10)

I’ve just looked a the lyrics from I’m on Fire by BS mentioned above. Oh dear oh dear. I had never really listened to them before.

Don't Stand So Close to Me by The Police

The fact that so many of the teachers were having inappropriate relations with sixth formers at my school in the 70's, which was just seen as "cool" at the time, meant that at least one teacher was able to get away with serious grooming and sexual assaults on much much younger children. He did go to prison many years later.

Even things like Star Trek TNG, DS9 and Voyager which at the time I thought were awesomely progressive with female captains, black captains, gay characters - all make me squirm rewatching.

As a lifelong SF reader I can tell you a lot of people found them squirm inducingly crap at the time.

Another about school uniform PE kit.

Our secondary school kit was a white aertex short sleeved top, a very short navy games skirt worn over regulation navy knickers, and knee length socks.

I hated it because it was absolutely freezing - no jumper or tracksuit allowed until we were in 4th year, when a massive grassroots campaign finally won the concession of a tracksuit on cold days.

However, never mind how cold it was, looking back, it was so inappropriate. We did athletics dressed like this around the school running track on the field shared with the boys' school. Our lunchtimes were staggered, so the boys would sit or lie by the side of the track to watch us run past. The photography club took photos on one occasion.

Even worse was 'cross country' which wasn't cross country, but on a route through the streets around the school. Running through the public with our little short skirts and our full name embroidered in red (by us during our first domestic science lesson) across the front of our aertex top. The catcalling was personalised as a result.

@Cocolapew THANK YOU.

@Cocolapew

Don't Stand So Close to Me by The Police

I’ve heard that song a thousand times and never listened to the lyrics.🤮

@tellmetologoffIamaMNaddict

Ewan McGregor's schoolgirl girlfriend in Trainspotting

But that was portrayed as wrong iirc. After being off of his face on heroin the night before, Ewan’s character woke up in the bed (of a very young Kelly McDonald) oblivious to her age and was then panicked and disgusted with himself when it became apparent.

This might not go down well, but I saw an episode of Fawlty Towers recently and the physical abuse of Manuel, coupled with racism, was quite shocking to see. And then there was the verbal abuse of Mrs Fawlty. Perhaps it was a particularly bad episode. I just didn't find those parts funny.

I think you may be missing the point. Basil was an AWFUL human being. An utter arsehole. The show was (mostly) about him getting his comeuppance week after week. The show wouldn't have worked if he hadn't been racist, abusive, and utterly contemptible.

Hearing about all these paedophile teachers,
drivers and doctors who abused their position of trust makes me wonder how many are out there working and having these thoughts but not yet acting on them.