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Original poster

'Just saying'

83 replies

OrchidLass · 01/05/2021 08:23

I can't bear it! I keep seeing this - a sentence, usually with some completely obvious suggestion, followed by 'just saying'.

Similarly, putting no? at the end of a sentence makes me want to punch myself in the face.

I'll also give a special mention to any sentence mentioning hubby, hollibobs, refering to yourself as mumma, using a plural as a singular - a red lip etc., did you mean to be so rude and referring to yourself as 'a bit mad but I'm fun'.

And relax ...

OP posts:
FlattestWhite · 01/05/2021 08:35

Can't be as bad as "I'll just leave this here" or "presented without comment", when someone is making a perfectly obvious point, but feels like it's clever to show that they are somehow above the level of the argument.

"and relax..." and "and breathe..." also fall into that category for me, though, sorry! Overused and cliched by now.

TrickyD · 01/05/2021 08:37

Anyone describing herself (always a woman) as ‘bubbly”, meaning brainless halfwit, or claiming to be a graduate of ‘The University of Life” .

Original poster
OrchidLass · 01/05/2021 08:39

"and relax..." and "and breathe..." also fall into that category for me, though, sorry! Overused and cliched by now.

@FlattestWhite as soon as I posted I thought I should have put a smiley or something after it! I absolutely agree. There are so many things like this, though every time I see a thread like this people mention something that I actually do say myself and vow to stop doing it. 😆

OP posts:
Sparklingbrook · 01/05/2021 08:49

I also hate 'I'll just leave this here' with no further comment and no engagement thinking they are so witty.

'It is what it is'/'we are where we are'. SUPER helpful-thanks!

ragged · 01/05/2021 08:54

What is the right way to make that kind of comment, though?

"Just saying" is possibly shorthand for "I bet you don't want to hear this" -- is that better phrase?

People who care about us owe it to us to say their honest opinions sometimes. Shouldn't shut that down.

Sparklingbrook · 01/05/2021 08:57

'Just saying' comes across a bit like the person doesn't care and quite flippant. Pointing something out for the sake of it not because it helps any.

CommanderBurnham · 01/05/2021 09:11

It's up there with 'only joking' and 'I don't mean to be rude but.....'

Passive aggressive.

Original poster
OrchidLass · 01/05/2021 09:29

@ragged nobody I know would phrase it like that face to face or in a message, they would form it in a very different way so that they didn't sound either flippant or passive aggressive.

I'm also fed up seeing the following in work emails:

Moving forward (when someone wants to ignore an issue they don't like)
Let's link together
Let's square the circle
And various other nonsense sayings.

OP posts:
Sparklingbrook · 01/05/2021 09:33

'Suck it and see' seems to be a popular work email one. Hmm How about just 'let's implement it and see what we think'.

whenthebellsring · 01/05/2021 09:43

If I've learned nothing else from my time on mumsnet, I've learned that there's absolutely nothing in this world anyone says/does that someone, somewhere doesn't have a problem with. People complain about everything and often with funny/misguided perspectives on the reason for these 'sayings'.

In other words, who cares? It is what it is - just saying.Wink

midsomermurderess · 01/05/2021 09:49

The endless, infuriating use of ??. It makes posters sound hysterical. Just ask questions like normal, sane adults. And the creeping use of upspeak, oh, sorry, upspeak? 'Where can I get sandals like x'?, 'oh, op, saltwater sandals are like that?' It is everywhere. It drives me mad in real life, but now you can't escape it in written form (?).

FrankieFox · 01/05/2021 09:51

I agree wholeheartedly with all of that. Also when people use the word “myself” instead of “me”, as in “The team consists of Barbara, Ethel, Jonathan and myself.” Or worse, when “myself” replaces “I,” as in “Joe and myself were in charge of the team.” It mostly happens in a work or formal setting as people seem to think it sounds more serious and important. Sadly it just makes them look uneducated.

Shinyletsbebadguys · 01/05/2021 09:54

@ragged

What is the right way to make that kind of comment, though?

"Just saying" is possibly shorthand for "I bet you don't want to hear this" -- is that better phrase?

People who care about us owe it to us to say their honest opinions sometimes. Shouldn't shut that down.

"Just Saying" implies that you ( not you personally ...anyone in general who uses the phrase) haven't got the spine to accept that you have responsibility for your words.

Its a way of being unpleasant without being prepared to take the consequences. Its a spineless way of having an opinion. By all means I believe in honesty but you have to accept it may not be taken well and you can't absolve yourself of that with a trite "just saying ". Either have the spine to say something difficult to hear and accept consequences or don't say it all if you can't take the fallout.

OppsUpsSide · 01/05/2021 09:58

The one I hate most is

‘Fixed it for you’

FrankieFox · 01/05/2021 09:59

@Sparklingbrook

I also hate 'I'll just leave this here' with no further comment and no engagement thinking they are so witty.

'It is what it is'/'we are where we are'. SUPER helpful-thanks!

I am guilty of this and I agree it sounds bad. But it often works to gently wrap up a conversation topic that has exhausted itself without reaching a resolution. Somehow it sounds “I’m not happy about this but I don’t want to discuss further,” or “I don’t agree with you but let’s move on.” I suppose I could use the phrase “agree to disagree,” but I don’t love that either.
FrankieFox · 01/05/2021 10:00

@OppsUpsSide I was referring to “it is what it is.” Sorry I wasn’t clear.

Menschenskind · 01/05/2021 10:02

Myself at the beginning of the sentence is even worse, as in 'Myself and Joe were in charge of the team'.

I particularly dislike 'If you need more information please contact myself'.

Sparklingbrook · 01/05/2021 10:04

'I'm out' works for me @FrankieFox, Dragon's Den style. Grin

EileenGC · 01/05/2021 10:06

'It is what it is'/'we are where we are'. SUPER helpful-thanks!

Particularly unhelpful when said by your manager who has seen you struggling with a ridiculously last-minute project for the last two weeks, but won't do anything to prevent it happening again in the future. 'It is what it is', as in you either get on with it or we'll get someone else.

merryhouse · 01/05/2021 10:12

@whenthebellsring

If I've learned nothing else from my time on mumsnet, I've learned that there's absolutely nothing in this world anyone says/does that someone, somewhere doesn't have a problem with. People complain about everything and often with funny/misguided perspectives on the reason for these 'sayings'.

In other words, who cares? It is what it is - just saying.Wink

Well, quite. For example I've discovered on here that many people become outraged by use of the word "poorly" as a synonym for "ill".

Then there's the poster who continually complains about someone saying "seagull" because it's proper name is "gull" and apparently we're not allowed to have two words that mean the same thing.

I think the best one has to be the threads that start off with "moist", run through "snack" and end up with the completely innocuous word

"meal"

Sparklingbrook · 01/05/2021 10:16

I don't get the hate for the word 'moist'. It's vitally important when it comes to cake isn't it?

PhilCornwall1 · 01/05/2021 10:17

'It is what it is'/'we are where we are'. SUPER helpful-thanks!

I've heard this a lot lately from a clients Project Manager. I've had a guts full of it now. Yes mate, we are where we are because you and your sodding team didn't listen, thought they knew best and fucked up!

Sparklingbrook · 01/05/2021 10:39

@PhilCornwall1

'It is what it is'/'we are where we are'. SUPER helpful-thanks!

I've heard this a lot lately from a clients Project Manager. I've had a guts full of it now. Yes mate, we are where we are because you and your sodding team didn't listen, thought they knew best and fucked up!

Yes this! It's always because somebody has made a huge error or there has been an oversight. I's quite defeatist in a way to say 'we are where we are' without investigating why that could possibly be Hmm
Procrastatron · 01/05/2021 11:18

Can I contribute my husbands favourite: “It will be fine” always so reassuring when there is something going on with multiple different outcomes and limited ways to influence them. It always reminds me that I’m worrying about nothing because “it will be fine”.

Original poster
OrchidLass · 01/05/2021 11:30

@whenthebellsring it's just a light-hearted thread for a Saturday morning, these things don't really spoil my day or anything I promise. 😆

@Procrastatron my husband does this too and it really does piss me off because it's just him saying that he can't be bothered to deal with or talk about the issue!

OP posts: