This is really bad isn't it?

[Getafuckinggripman]

I drink prosecco at the weekend. Probably 3 or 4 bottles spread out from Friday afternoon to Sunday. I don't touch alcohol during the week, never hungover for work, drink loads of water during the week etc. Don't really think about alcohol as I'm in routine etc. It's just a weekend thing. However... I've been off this week and other than one night I've been on it every day. Probably 15/20 units each day. It'll stop when I'm back to normal next week, I don't get the shakes or wake up needing a drink or anything but it'll get to 5pm today and I'll think about cracking one open to take the edge off. If I couldn't physically get any wine I would be a bit pissed off but I wouldn't be licking yesterday's wine glass or anything. I was the same during Christmas week and it stopped as soon as I went back to work. Am I an alcoholic or something?!

And you haven't managed more than a fortnight dry the last time you tried Dry January, don't forget.

Why not try a Dry May, starts tomorrow?

It's not the amount of alcohol you're drinking in particular (it's more than most would drink but not horrendous), it's the fact you're drinking for entertainment. Maybe you should try non-alcoholic beverages. You're depending too much on the feeling and experience of drinking. Try to cut down by half and replace what you don't drink with a nice soft drink. Or top up your glass with lemonade or a mixer.

To add: the alcohol is just a symptom of whatever is going on with you. It's really just a coping mechanism and distraction.

3 bottles every weekend is ALOT! To be honest I would say drinking every weekend is a lot and too much. I'd say 1 glass a weekend is normal with a bottle maybe every month but 3 bottles every weekend I would judge

You’re congratulating yourself for not being overweight but you drink way in excess of the recommended amount of alcohol.

Honestly? That's a lot of alcohol and sounds like you have a problem with it. I imagine your liver is taking a serious beating.

You are questioning the amount you drink, you find it hard to enjoy stuff without a drink, you are secretive about your drinking habits and you are in denial.

All of this to me points to a problem.

I know someone who is an alcoholic, she’s secretive and hiding it from her husband. She would tell you she only has a drink to relax whilst truth is she’s putting away god knows how many bottles a week. She has to distract herself when she’s not drinking, until she can get the next one.

If you were to ask, she would say she’s not an alcoholic and it’s not a problem but she most definitely is.

The classic denial.

@Getafuckinggripman

No-one wants to think of themselves as an addict, acknowledgment of it is a big first step.

If I was an addict surely I'd be on it every single day of the year? Not being defensive just genuinely wondering x

No, you wouldn't necessarily. It's where the term 'functioning alcoholic' comes from, weekend bingers who sound quite like you I'm afraid.

I used to have two, sometimes three bottles of wine over the weekend. I managed to do 'dry January' and that's really helped me cut down - I now have no more than one bottle a week, over a few days. If you could manage a month's abstinence, it might help you gain perspective and feel the benefit of not waking up feeling sluggish or hung over.

@Getafuckinggripman, you have a preconceived idea of 'alcoholics' that is damaging you.

You are looking at others that are worse than you to make you feel better. This is already a massive issue. You have come here because you have a problem already.

You cannot outsmart addiction. Mummywasasecretdrinker has a very good blog about this if you want to have a look. Many, many persons with a problem with alcohol don't fit the category you have in mind.

Nobody without a huge tolerance and lots of years of overdrinking can binge drink 14-20 units several days in a row, just because it is a holiday.

The mere fact that you can do this indicates there is a history of alcohol abuse

You are regularly massively exceeding safe limits and find sober moments hard to sustain

A bit of hiking is. Not going to undo a fraction of this

If you find it easy to maintain sobriety then you have your answer - it's just a. Blip if you CANT do sober for a couple of months easily seek help

@nitsandwormsdodger

You are regularly massively exceeding safe limits and find sober moments hard to sustain

A bit of hiking is. Not going to undo a fraction of this

If you find it easy to maintain sobriety then you have your answer - it's just a. Blip if you CANT do sober for a couple of months easily seek help

I don’t think this is fair advice either though - we have a huge drinking culture in the UK. Work nights out, BBQs, even christenings all either revolve around or include alcohol. It’s very easy to feel huffy that you can’t drink or that it’s not easy not to - Marian Keyes has written a lot about this. It’s not as simple as ‘hard to avoid drink = alcoholic’ or ‘easy to say no = not alcoholic’.

@Getafuckinggripman

How would you feel about having a week off alcohol? Just to see how much you miss it / how you feel without it?

I did this once. It was so fucking boring 🙈

If you find your life this bad/ boring without alcohol then that's your problem.

You need to find things that make you feel fulfilled otherwise you will always drink to get away from boredom.

Think about what it is doing to your body and how much it must be dehydrating you to drink that much every weekend. You don't need it - you just think you do. Find distractions and other more joyful things to fill your life with.

@Getafuckinggripman

What do you want from this thread as the few posts I have read so far you have an answer for everything?

I wanted to anonymously admit how much I drink both at weekends and pretty much every day if I'm on holiday. I genuinely wasn't sure if the majority would say "you're an alcoholic" or "ah fuck it you're on holiday and weekend drinking is nothing" ... I now know

Fair play for your gracious reply.

I hope things get better for you so you don't need to use alcohol like this.

@Getafuckinggripman

You may not be an alcoholic, but you are a binge drinker, and it's a slippery slope.

Saying it's 'boring' with no alcohol is a bit of a worry to be honest.

4 bottles of prosecco over 2 days is excessive.

As has been said, you need to go a week - or a month - without booze. If you can't, this confirms you have an issue.

@JustSleepAlready

You’re not not an alcoholic.

How do you know. The OP drinks a lot of alcohol. Even if she isn't an alcoholic she has a very unhealthy relationship with alcohol.

Three bottles of Prosecco at 9 units per bottle is 27 units of alcohol. Four bottles is 36 units. Drunk over a period of three days this is a lot of alcohol. Drunk over a week, it is still a lot of alcohol, given that the recommended maximum alcohol limit is 14 units per week.

And yes, I do drink, but tend to stick with around 14 units a week.

My SIL's husband died from alcoholism last year, and it wasn't pretty.

@Getafuckinggripman

How would you feel about having a week off alcohol? Just to see how much you miss it / how you feel without it?

I did this once. It was so fucking boring 🙈

Why is your life so boring you 'need' alcohol?

Thats the question you should ask yourself, alcohol doesnt make anyone/thing less boring it just inhibits your sensors and makes you less aware... usually while you bore/annoy those around you.

The fact that you ‘cracked’ after two weeks would suggest you are dependent on alcohol. The fact that you are ‘bored’ without alcohol suggests you are dependent on alcohol

This.

So many people who have an alcohol problem feel like it is not an issue as they "could stop at any time but just don't want to". But then if they actually try to stop, they realise they can't. There is a type of suffering of being sober and not having that escape or distraction.

It will creep up slowly not seeming like a problem, until it is.

Healthy people are comfortable with their sober selves and their own company, and wouldn't need to drink to "take the edge off". Certainly the amount you are drinking is excessive.

If you really feel you don't need it, then I would challenge you to prove that to yourself, and stop. Just stop. If you can't or don't, even if it's because you're "bored", then you have a problem there, and actually you are kidding yourself saying you don't need it. You need to learn to live life in a way that you don't feel bored all the time without alcohol.

Well done for realizing it's a problem! It's the first step in doing something to improve things. Alcohol intake >14 units per week or 3 units in one go is associated with many cancers, liver disease, decreasing stress resilience, increasing body fat, increasing unhealthy cholesterol and decreasing sleep quality. Have a look at this breast cancer risk infographic. www.womens-health-concern.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/10/WHC-UnderstandingRisksofBreastCancer-MARCH2017.pdf

Start off by halving your consumption on your drinking days, and go from there. Have a look at the drinkaware.co.uk website for further tools.

It's fine, it sounds like you're doing OK at the moment OP.

As someone that had a severe alcohol dependency for many years (now getting slowly better) my take on it would be that although the way you're drinking now seems fine, this is how it starts. My memory of being like that - drinking a lot temporarily but feeling sure I could stop if I wanted to - was that it led to not being able to stop drinking.

I so know what you mean when you say "I wasn't licking wine glasses or anything". I felt like that too, until I didn't and would start having a small glass just to take the edge off in the morning. I'm not saying you're going to end up like me or that you have a problem right now, more that you might be approaching a turning point in your relationship with alcohol. Do you think this might be something that might be worth thinking about? It's a lot easier to address problem drinking before it starts, rather than later on when it's all got a bit insidious and you don't quite know how to stop. X

So OP, now you are a bit clearer that what you’re drinking is way too much what can you do about it? What would you like to do about it?

I don’t have any advice but I think for your long term health something has to change.

It sounds like every other aspect of your life is healthy so hopefully this amount of alcohol hasn’t done any lasting damage but I do think cutting down is really important.

@JovialNickname yeah I get that. Whilst I'm not drinking in the morning or shaking etc I am still drinking an amount that would have absolutely horrified me a couple of years ago. I used to only ever drink on a Saturday and I would NEVER drink on any other day I used to go swimming every Friday evening because it would be so quiet. I do like the feeling of that first and second glass, the little dizziness etc and getting a bit tipsy. But I've been through and am still going through a horrible horrible time so I know I'm using it as a crutch as well as the fact I just like a drink. When I go back to work next week I will get myself into a brand new routine, I will cut back on weekends and see if I can get back to the Friday swimming thing. I'll plan things for Saturday mornings too because one thing I will say is I NEVER drink drive.

20 units a day??? People seriously think this is normal and nothing to worry about????

Also, I would really recommend Allen Carr's book, Stop Drinking Now. I know the title sounds bossy and you probably don't even want to stop drinking altogether. But this book is based on his theory that alcohol is a slippery slope, and that anyone that drinks enough, for long enough, will become addicted because alcohol is addictive. It has some really helpful and practical information in it, and does help in understanding how occasional drinking can get a bit too much without us realising. By reading it you're not committing to giving up alcohol; just learning a bit more about the way it can start to take hold. x

@clpsmum

20 units a day??? People seriously think this is normal and nothing to worry about????

Yes, the equivalent of two bottles of wine per day, every day. How is that that waved away as social drinking? It's insane.