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Original poster

Is renewing wedding vows still deemed as tacky!

92 replies

BeautyQueenIamNot · 30/04/2021 12:05

It’s our 10 year wedding anniversary next year and we have had a lot of bad things happen to us over the last 5/6 years, lost a couple of siblings, redundancies, my health has taken a massive nose dive and I spend 3 or 4 months a year in hospital, and was thinking we could renew our wedding vows and have a massive party (obviously I am hoping covid will be gone)

I’ve often read on here that is deemed as a bit off an unnecessary.

Would you mind being invited if it was close friends etc

OP posts:
Hellocatshome · 30/04/2021 12:06

I wouldn't mind being invited but a lot of people will be wondering which of you had been unfaithful. Cant you just have a big 10th wedding anniversary party without the renewing of the vows, or do that bit privately if its important to you.

ShirleyPhallus · 30/04/2021 12:08

If it was close friends then I’d love to go, any excuse for a celebration. HOWEVER the general population of MN is made up of those who are competitively friendless and believe any wedding beyond that’s more expensive than a bin bag and serving tap water is doomed to failure and take even being invited as a huge insult.

So prepare yourself to be asked “weren’t your vows binding for life Confused” and “I always thought renewal of vows were when someone had cheated Confused”

But do it if you like it. Congrats and sorry for the hard times you’ve had

NutellaEllaElla · 30/04/2021 12:12

Yeah, it's not tacky necessarily but does suggest that someone's been unfaithful. Perhaps as your friends and family know you, they won't assume that. We're just having a party for our 10th anniversary.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Weddings
MilkTwoSugarsThanks · 30/04/2021 12:12

Very close friends and I knew damn well there was a genuine emotional reason for it I'd happily go.

However 99% are because people want a second wedding being centre of attention and getting people to spend money on them.

Just have a party. Make a speech about how committed you still are to each other despite the hard times you've had recently.

MyDcAreMarvel · 30/04/2021 12:13

You either meant them the first time or you didn’t. If you want a party do it for a birthday instead.

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 30/04/2021 12:14

Just have a 10 year anniversary party. Vow renewal is strange - it implies to me that one or both party need a reminder on what the vows say.

VenusClapTrap · 30/04/2021 12:14

I think a big anniversary party is more appropriate if there haven’t been any problems in the marriage. Renewal of vows suggests someone has broken them.

Caselgarcia · 30/04/2021 12:15

If I was invited I probably wouldn't attend but then I find these sorts of celebrations a bit awkward and cringy. Just have a party?

RubyFakeLips · 30/04/2021 12:15

I do think it’s a bit naff. Party is fine but like previous posters, I would assume there had been an issue in your relationship such as cheating or considered breaking up.

I don’t really understand why you’re renewing. Most people would be happy just to go to the party as an anniversary party.

CMOTDibbler · 30/04/2021 12:16

Have a big anniversary party, buy a lovely dress, get glammed up, say some words about each other to celebrate the anniversary - absolutely. I love a good party and celebrating peoples happiness.
But renewing your vows, no.

KFleming · 30/04/2021 12:16

I don’t think it’s tacky, I mainly just don’t see the point. An anniversary party is what I’d do.

WorraLiberty · 30/04/2021 12:19

@KFleming

I don’t think it’s tacky, I mainly just don’t see the point. An anniversary party is what I’d do.
This ^^

I've never seen the point of inviting people to wedding vows renewals.

Original poster
BeautyQueenIamNot · 30/04/2021 12:19

Maybe just a big party then, and a holiday for just me a Dh after.

I don’t want people to think either of us have cheated and broken our vows

OP posts:
FlibbertyGiblets · 30/04/2021 12:20

Renew vows if cheating has happened*. If not then huge party.

*this is what people will think, rightly or wrongly.

Bluntness100 · 30/04/2021 12:20

I don’t think it’s tacky or off, I just can’t understand the reason for it. You’re married already why rhe need to do it again? Other than one of you had an affair and you want to start over?

FlibbertyGiblets · 30/04/2021 12:21

X post.
Fabulous new dress, killer heels, new bag, what's not to like!

Crazycrazylady · 30/04/2021 12:23

10 years is definitely too short. I have clothes longer than that.

Bluntness100 · 30/04/2021 12:24

@BeautyQueenIamNot

Maybe just a big party then, and a holiday for just me a Dh after.

I don’t want people to think either of us have cheated and broken our vows

Yes have a ten year wedding anniversary party. You can have a holiday at any time, it doesn’t need to be linked.

Most people think if you feel the need to redo your vows then there is a very negative reason for it. As otherwise the vows you already made still stand.

Original poster
BeautyQueenIamNot · 30/04/2021 12:24

I was thinking that it was to reaffirm the vows we had already taken Blush my husband has been so good to me and the children during the last couple of years, especially when I have been so sick.

So big party and a weekend away after it will be!

I don’t want people to think we are doing this because someone has been unfaithful

OP posts:
Original poster
BeautyQueenIamNot · 30/04/2021 12:26

@Crazycrazylady 10 years is a long time when you have a life limiting disease and you don’t know how long you actually have

OP posts:
TheLovleyChebbyMcGee · 30/04/2021 12:27

Yeah, I always assume someones cheated when people renew their vows!

Just do a lovely nice party, I'd go to that!

bunglebee · 30/04/2021 12:29

Just have an anniversary party if you want to have a party and celebrate your relationship. Or a party for no reason. I fully intend to have a Covid is Fucking Over, Whee party at the right time and I don't think anyone will need any more excuse than that.

Making people re-witness your wedding for no reason just seems really... OTT and self-absorbed.

CornishGem1975 · 30/04/2021 12:30

When people renew their vows it makes me wonder what's been going wrong with the marriage. No need to renew them if they've not been broken?

SarahAndQuack · 30/04/2021 12:32

It's only on MN I have ever come across this belief that vow renewals have to do with cheating.

In the C of E tradition I was brought up in, it's a religious thing, and it's lovely. You get elderly people doing it for the 'big' anniversaries.

TheOneWithTheBigNose · 30/04/2021 12:36

Your vows are for life, no need to renew them.
Have a massive anniversary party instead!