Is renewing wedding vows still deemed as tacky!

[BeautyQueenIamNot]

It’s our 10 year wedding anniversary next year and we have had a lot of bad things happen to us over the last 5/6 years, lost a couple of siblings, redundancies, my health has taken a massive nose dive and I spend 3 or 4 months a year in hospital, and was thinking we could renew our wedding vows and have a massive party (obviously I am hoping covid will be gone)

I’ve often read on here that is deemed as a bit off an unnecessary.

Would you mind being invited if it was close friends etc

Truly naff-we’d all be wondering which one of you had the affair!

I just don’t see the point-you’re already married? Why not just have an anniversary party?

Wow I’ve never heard of these unfaithful opinions before. My wedding day was a bit shit for a number of reasons so DH said when we hit 10 years let’s renew them and have no one else there who will ruin it for us again. Maybe not now!

I personally think renewing your vows is tacky, but I would go to one and enjoy myself if I was invited. It’s about you and what you want, not what I think.

This is like weddings, everyone has an opinion about other people's choices and will eye roll at too spendy or too low key or the menu or the dress or some damn thing. But none of it matters because its about the couple, not the judgemental guests!

I’ve been to a 25 year vowel renewal which was lovely and obviously part of a significant anniversary celebration, 25 years is a big anniversary. 10 years not so much - if you want to renew your vows for yourselves fair enough but I think it’s presumptuous to expect others to care much and celebrate this with you.

Have a big anniversary party. That’s what we did (for our 25th).

Our vows were “until death do us part” they can’t run out so no need for renewal..

We are considering doing it but my main purpose is so my children can be there and we will all be celebrating our family. We would do it on holiday so no one else would be invited.

We thought about it for our 25th and decided it was unnecessary. We had a big weekend party for 25 relatives and close friends instead. We did toast each other will some well-chosen words. Much better.

I think if it’s just the couple and the vicar then that’s ok (but definitely not something I would do), otherwise it is tacky.
I would far prefer to have a fabulous party or go out for a lovely meal and have a holiday!

I would wonder which party had “forgotten” the vows. 10 years together? Bbq party.

I also agree about ten years not really being long enough. I've got a few friends coming up to ten years married, their weddings are still fresh in my memory! If I was invited to a big bash for a ten year anniversary a part of me would be thinking, ffs, I've probably still got the dress from the first time around in the wardrobe. Bit soon to be going again!

I have commented on a post about this before & it would never occur to me that a couple were renewing their vows because one or both had been unfaithful! Perhaps I’m naive or perhaps a lot of people are very cynical, which is a shame. My SIL’s sister & husband renewed theirs for their silver wedding & apparently it was a lovely celebration.

Must say I think it’s a bit cringe. I’d suspect that there had been infidelity, or why bother? Just have a do, if you want to celebrate.

If you haven't broken your vows then they don't need renewing. So cringey.

@BeautyQueenIamNot

Maybe just a big party then, and a holiday for just me a Dh after.

I don’t want people to think either of us have cheated and broken our vows

Then don't 'renew' your vows!

Don't set everyone off thinking one of you has broken them, because that's what the majority will think. There no need to renew something that's supposed to be for life!

I'm sorry you've had such a rough time! Plan a lovely Anniversary party & take yourselves off got a fabulous holiday and really celebrate that you have a good, strong, supportive relationship 🥂🍾

@sharond101

We are considering doing it but my main purpose is so my children can be there and we will all be celebrating our family. We would do it on holiday so no one else would be invited.

Has one if you had an affair? Is your marriage Rocky?

Otherwise why do your children need to be there?

Maybe I'm just getting old (52) but it was generally something your parents did before they had you, so there was never any expectation that the children would be at their parents wedding. Lots of porople get married after they have children now, but it's still not about the children it's about the adult as individuals making a commitment to each other - you're allowed to have a commitment that is about 2 adults and not about a day for the children.

Nothing wrong with celebrating being married 10 years. We have a large garden and just did a massive barbq with lots of champagne for family and friends. We told people no gifts and we did not dress up just really enjoyed the day with loved ones close.