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Original poster

Any parents experienced with teens and escort sites

140 replies

Hectorshousewasfab · 22/04/2021 20:39

Friend has found her daughter using an escort site to earn money. Still at school, just turned 18 and lives outside the family. Mother is devastated and school want police involved.
Has anyone had any experience like this they can share? Daughter seems oblivious to dangers and just says she wants to be financially independent.
Can anyone share any experience of this!?

OP posts:
Babycham1979 · 22/04/2021 20:46

It’s got nothing to do with the law. She’s over 18 and it’s perfectly legal. The school sound like idiots.

Disapproval doesn’t make it against the law.

Timeforabiscuit · 22/04/2021 20:51

The police might be shorthand for the local multi agency safeguarding hub, and while yes it might be "legal" - it is a safeguarding issue, particularly if other issues come to light (coercion, abuse, debt, drugs).
The school would take a dim view of work interfering with education, which this certainly sounds like.

Original poster
Hectorshousewasfab · 22/04/2021 20:51

School is worried that she maybe being coerced into sex and that is illegal so want police to investigate

OP posts:
Original poster
Hectorshousewasfab · 22/04/2021 20:52

She’s a top performing student. Mother raised concerns last July and school told her she was not allowing her Dd to grow up and she should back off. At that point mother had no idea what was going on

OP posts:
Original poster
Hectorshousewasfab · 22/04/2021 20:53

@Timeforabiscuit no school have said she needs to report it by tomorrow or they will

OP posts:
KurtWilde · 22/04/2021 20:55

She's over 18. How is it a safeguarding issue? She's an adult.

Original poster
Hectorshousewasfab · 22/04/2021 20:55

Ive been trying to think of helplines mother could talk to such as NSPCC and various parent helplines but wondered if there was any support for parents anywhere for this kind of thing?

OP posts:
KurtWilde · 22/04/2021 20:57

NSPCC and a for children, the DD - whilst young - is classed as an adult.

Timeforabiscuit · 22/04/2021 20:59

Are you England? There are very strict safeguarding practices the school should be following.

As they heard first I believe they are duty bound to report to childrens social services (I think up to age 21), they should be the first people to contact, although raising with the police should get to the same team via a different route.

Social services would then engage via school with youth workers, or possibly youth offending team or early intervention - as they have the best skill set to engage with older teens.

Not purely a police matter in England at all.

PandemicAtTheDisco · 22/04/2021 20:59

Why does your friend's daughter live independently?

How is she currently affording this?

Waxonwaxoff0 · 22/04/2021 21:01

She's 18, a legal adult so her parents have no say in this.

Timeforabiscuit · 22/04/2021 21:01

@KurtWilde there is no magic switch that goes off at 18 - and police and social care know this! They will engage and support NOT based on an arbitrary line drawn at age, but a risk profile of behaviours, the hard line has been done away with particularly with care leavers.

Original poster
Hectorshousewasfab · 22/04/2021 21:02

@Timeforabiscuit yes in England. When mother first noticed change in Daughters behaviour she alerted school and went through counselling and family therapy which resulted in pastoral care saying there wasn’t a problem and it was just the parents being too involved in child’s development

OP posts:
Original poster
Hectorshousewasfab · 22/04/2021 21:03

@PandemicAtTheDisco she lives quite a distance from school and convinced parents to let her live closer to school for her A level year. Parents pay for all costs so it’s not like she is short of money

OP posts:
Timeforabiscuit · 22/04/2021 21:04

Social services would be your best port of call if the school aren't willing to get help or support for their pupil.

Original poster
Hectorshousewasfab · 22/04/2021 21:04

And no drugs involved

OP posts:
KurtWilde · 22/04/2021 21:05

[quote Timeforabiscuit]@KurtWilde there is no magic switch that goes off at 18 - and police and social care know this! They will engage and support NOT based on an arbitrary line drawn at age, but a risk profile of behaviours, the hard line has been done away with particularly with care leavers.[/quote]
Really? So why when my DC turned 18 were they suddenly added to my council tax bill as adults? Oh yes, because in the U.K. anyone over the age of 18 is classed as an adult.

Original poster
Hectorshousewasfab · 22/04/2021 21:07

@Timeforabiscuit can she just contact social services or is it a referral basis, for example could she ask school to refer her?

OP posts:
Timeforabiscuit · 22/04/2021 21:10

No - you can self refer to social services, there is usually a duty team on roster if you look on the local authority website.

Kindlynow · 22/04/2021 21:13

[quote Timeforabiscuit]@KurtWilde there is no magic switch that goes off at 18 - and police and social care know this! They will engage and support NOT based on an arbitrary line drawn at age, but a risk profile of behaviours, the hard line has been done away with particularly with care leavers.[/quote]
Um, as a Social Worker I can assure you there is most certainly a switch that flips when a child becomes an adult at 18...we do not assess over 18s as children's social care. Adult Social Care would also not get involved..

Timeforabiscuit · 22/04/2021 21:15

@KurtWilde you can be an adult, and also be very vulnerable. Age makes you vulnerable in different ways if your 18 or 98, that's why it's taken into account.

And you don't pay council tax if your in full time education, so I don't know what point you're trying to make.

Timeforabiscuit · 22/04/2021 21:16

Not even care leavers?

Kindlynow · 22/04/2021 21:17

@Timeforabiscuit

Not even care leavers?
Care Leavers would be looked after children pre 18 which I'm assuming this young lady was not. If she is then she will already have a PA and the School would be aware of that.
Timeforabiscuit · 22/04/2021 21:17

My specialism was substance misuse, we went to great lengths ensuring vulnerable young people were treated in young people services rather than adults.

Timeforabiscuit · 22/04/2021 21:21

I know my local authority does it differently, trying to join adult and children's services during transition of 18-24 was a huge issue which we've tried using various bridging service to fix.

Apologies op, but as you can see you may get a really patchy response depending on where you live.