Dd always putting the heating on..

[HowLuckyAmI]

For about 3 months now DD aged 11 turns the heating on randomly when it really is not needed. Mostly she gets up in the middle of the night/early hours to switch it on then goes back to bed which then leaves the flat stuffy.
Ive asked her nicely to stop doing this, if she is cold than she has access to an extra blanket/dressing gown etc which is at the end of her bed. Instead she is turning it on making the whole place ridiculously hot.
I have covered the thermostat so she cant turn the dial but she has learnt how to turn it on direct from the touch pad.
DH has said to her if there isnt a good enough reason for her to do this and it wont stop then there will have to be punishments as she is delibrately ignoring our requests and the gas bill is huge!!
Any suggestions on how to get her to stop doing this?

@Notaroadrunner

Are electric blankets safe to leave on if she falls asleep though? I wouldn't leave one on all night. I'd definitely stop her pocket money. She needs to accept the consequence of over use of the gas. Apart from that she needs consequences for blatantly disobeying you and Dh when you have told her not to turn it on. Tell her to put on a fleece and warm socks in bed if she's that cold.

Many electric blankets have timers so you can have it on for a few hours and it switches itself off at the set time.

What is this nonsense about extra layers not working? Ffs stop talking shite.

I don't know if you've posted this so forgive me but have you explained to her that you just can't afford to pay the additional $40? At 11 I was able to understand economics and my parents were in charge of our house. Does she understand that? If she's developmentally able to grasp both concepts then you need to give her a warning and provide an extra blanket or electric heater.

This is the one my daughter has, haven’t noticed any difference in my heating Bill, she has it in the lowest setting and doesn’t wake up cold so isn’t tired during the day and at school, it says it cost 1p a night to run www.argos.co.uk/product/4500324?clickPR=plp:cat:homeandfurniture:bedding:electricblankets:6:32

Please ask the question and listen to her answers. If she is genuinely cold, as she may well be, an electric blanket would be a good way forward.

If not, my approach would be very different.

I'm nearly retirement age but still remember the times when my parents leapt to punish without ever listening to me.

She's 11,you've told her to stop and she hasn't. So you need a serious consequence. Take her pocket money. If that doesn't work start taking other stuff to "sell" to cover the bill.

In the nicest way OP you need to clamp down on this before she's a teen.

You need to make her room warmer. I wake up if the heating isn't on as I just don't generate my own heat.
I have a winter duvet and fleecy pj's (two tops). If the air is chilly I can't sleep.

Set the boiler timer so the heating is off during the night, it won't matter how many times she turns the thermostat up, the heating won't come on.

@4amWitchingHour

She gets £10 pocket money a week and the gas bill has gone up by £40 a month. Perfect - tell her you can no longer afford her pocket money as she keeps turning the heating on. Losing the whole lot for a month might be the short sharp shock she needs to stop doing it.

Absolutely this. And then dock the next lot of pocket money every time she does it.

Oh dear, she wouldn't have enjoyed my childhood winters! My room was always freezing, literally. There was ice on the inside of the window. The house had no heating upstairs at all. Thankfully, most people no longer have to be quite so cold!

Get your DD some warm bed-socks and some fleecy thermal pyjamas. If she still gets cold, maybe she could wear a fleece jumper over the pyjamas. Providing she's got a decent duvet, say 13.5 tog at least, she should then be fine.
Last resort would be an electric blanket of some kind.

Gosh, in think there's a balance to be struck here. Obviously she can't go spending money you don't have and making everyone else uncomfortably warm, but equally it's her home just as much as yours, and I think she's got a right to be just as comfortable in it as you. What is the thermostat set to at night?

A heater in her room sounds like a good compromise to me.

Please can people stop suggesting that a cold child should be punished for putting the heating on. It's barbaric!

Should we also punish hungry children for eating?

Making sure your child is adequately warm should be a priority for household funds. She is so cold that she is waking up in the night, that is not OK! You need to find a solution to this so that she isn't cold enough to wake up every night. Until you put something in place, leave the heating on overnight (perhaps at a lower temperature than during the day), so that she isn't waking up cold.

An electric blanket is a good solution.

I find it really upsetting that a parent thinks that their child should lay awake freezing cold all night rather than put the heating on :( I can't understand the mindset at all. Keeping my children warm and fed is my first priority.

In most UK houses that are heated during the day/evening there is no reason to get so cold you can't sleep. The DD needs to make sure she has full pyjamas and socks on plus blankets before putting the heating on. It's unlikely to be abnormally cold.

@HercwasanEnemyofEducation

In most UK houses that are heated during the day/evening there is no reason to get so cold you can't sleep. The DD needs to make sure she has full pyjamas and socks on plus blankets before putting the heating on. It's unlikely to be abnormally cold.

That is possibly true. But if my child was waking up in the night cold and putting the heating on, and I thought that it really was too warm for her to reasonably feel cold, my first thought would be to take her to the doctor for a once over to check thyroid etc, not to punish her for being cold, or tell her she wasn't allowed to put the heating on. And I'd keep the heating on (or find another solution) all the time she was telling me she was cold.

This child is so cold that it is waking her up at night. Why is no one listening to her, and taking steps to make sure she is able to be warm and comfortable so that she can sleep through the night.

And people are suggesting that she should be punished!

Could she get a comfy? They are massive trend for pre teens at the moment and might encourage her to wrap up. Also have a look at your boiler in our old house we could switch the radiators off but keep the water on.

@5zeds well, I can only speak for myself but as a pp said, if there is no heat to start with then no amount of layers will help. When I lived with my DPs I never remember waking up and feeling warm. It was a cold day outside, my room was cold, heating hadn’t been on for 12 or so hours. Another jumper wasn’t going to make much difference. I rented a room in a house once, a huge house and they (owners) only had heating on for an hour in the morning and an hour in the evening. It was miserable. Our boiler broke back in January and I had my thermals, a pair of fleece PJs and a dressing gown on. I wasn’t warm, it was just bearable. It was only off for a few hours, as they came to fix it straight away as DH is vulnerable but it was bloody awful and we put the oven on and had a portable heater going.

I work in a role now where I am outside and in winter I wear: thermals (leggings & top), a shirt, trousers, cardigan, fleece and my outdoor coat and I’m still never ‘warm’. It’s just more bearable than if I didn’t have those things on. Same with extra jumpers/dressing gowns inside. The heat needs to be there in the first place.

Just get her an all night electric blanket. Perfectly safe to keep on during the night when asleep. So cosy and warm.

It is that simple, and best of luck.

Does her room get particularly cold in the night perhaps it's a bit drafty. Could you put the heating to come on for an hour or so just before she usually wakes up.

If she's cold, why can't she put the heating on? Why should your wants trump hers? YABU wanting to punish her for this.

I find it quite sad and a little uncomfortable tbh that your first thoughts are about punishment, not dealing with her being cold, or concern at why she feels like this, or concern that she's having her sleep impacted (which will make her tired for school).

@Babyboomtastic

I find it quite sad and a little uncomfortable tbh that your first thoughts are about punishment, not dealing with her being cold, or concern at why she feels like this, or concern that she's having her sleep impacted (which will make her tired for school).

This is how I feel.

I can't imagine how any parent thinks its OK for their child to be so cold that they are waking in the night, and then wants to punish them for turning the heating on. Not find a better way to keep them warm, or take them to the doctor for a health check, or have a chat with them to make sure there's nothing else waking her in the night, e.g worries or issues. No, just give them the simple choice of lay awake cold every night or be punished.

No concern for the poor child's wellbeing whatsoever. It's heartbreaking.

@HercwasanEnemyofEducation

She's 11,you've told her to stop and she hasn't. So you need a serious consequence. Take her pocket money. If that doesn't work start taking other stuff to "sell" to cover the bill.

In the nicest way OP you need to clamp down on this before she's a teen.

The kid is COLD and you want to sell her belongings to cover the cost of her trying to be warm so she can sleep??

On the same vein though we don't know if the DD is sleeping with nothing on and expecting to be warm all night. Op hasn't clarified. Op said she has dressing gowns and blankets but won't put them on. They should be the first port of call.

We don't actually know if she's really cold and dressed appropriately or saying she's cold and automatically turning the heating on.

Yes I would "sell" kids belongings if they had been told not to do something and they kept doing it. I'd have a discussion first and make sure there wasn't a reason they were really cold eg medical. But after that I totally would.

@Babyboomtastic

I find it quite sad and a little uncomfortable tbh that your first thoughts are about punishment, not dealing with her being cold, or concern at why she feels like this, or concern that she's having her sleep impacted (which will make her tired for school).

Me too. The very least she could have is a heater in her room.

I would happily go without fags and booze in order to have decent heating (that was a joke).