"No hat, no outside" not working. Been trapped inside with toddler for 4 days.

[SelfBuild]

Toddler (22 months) will not wear a sun hat, only a wooly bobble hat, we've tried 5 different sun hats with his favourite things on. Just not working. Went out last week and it was hot and he'd only put a bobble hat on and he was sodden with sweat afterwards.

So I toughened up, put the bobble hat out of sat and have lined up a selection of sun hats next to his shoes by the door. Everytime for the last 4 days he's asked to go in the garden, for a walk or to the park we've had the "no hat, no play/no go outside" argument. He will not back down and just tears it off so we haven't left the house. It's so sunny and nice and I'm just stuck indoors with a cranky toddler who hasn't had a proper run around in days but neither of us will back down.

What do I do?

@SelfBuild

He has extremely fine extremely light blonde hair, really fair skin. He catches the sun really easily even with sun cream we have to use the highest factor. Again I'm well aware It's not as hot as it will be in August but the whole point of starting now is that he will be happily wearing a hat by August. He's not even 2 yet but he still knows he can't go outside without his shoes on, why does this need to be any different? No he won't grasp the concept of he will burn, obviously, but he can quote simply grasp just like his shoes, he wears both or doesn't go outside. He knew in the winter he had to wear his bobble hat, we says shoes and hat and taps his head when we get ready to go out (on colder days with his bobble hat). It's not some foreign concept/extremely advanced for a toddler to understand that.

But it's not working for you this time?

I burn very easily and when uv levels are high I am anal about putting sunscreen on any exposed skin, even in situations when most people wouldn't bother, such as a day out shopping. I haven't used sunscreen yet this year, and haven't burnt. Uv levels have mostly not been high enough in the UK.

You get suncream suitable for use on hair. This is a good reminder that I need to get some for my baldy toddler.

By August he might like hats. He is 2,they are fickle.
You sound really defensive over the hats and I get it, but I think suncream is sufficient and spray for the scalp-avoid the hottest part of the day (also... Its April!)

Don't keep your toddler inside for a 5th day. You will feel better getting out.

Why are you avoiding questions asking if you are in the UK or not OP? It’s very relevant. If you are in the UK the sun is not yet strong enough on April, and I would say you need to get a grip and relax, and wonder what else you are disproportionately anxious for.

However if you are in a Australia, or South America or South Asia where temperatures are in late 20s or 30s you YANBU at all, and I would say in those temperatures you are right to try and crack this but not going out.

Cover his hair in suncream
That's what I did when it was hot. This time of year I wouldn't fuss though.

I wouldn't keep him locked in. Let him wear the Wolly one if you're that worried.

Get some of this Baldie Heed Sun Screen and go outside!

It’s highly unlikely that he’d get sunburn at this time of year. If it’s not when you’re out and you are desperate for him to wear a hat you can tell him if he wants to stay out playing he’ll have to wear a hat or go home, but then you need to be prepared to take him home no matter what screaming, crying, upset he throws at you.

You’ve made the mistake of it being a ‘thing’!

Definitely.

It's April he doesn't need a sun hat. I can't believe you haven't been out for 4 days because of a hat.
All my kids are fair and more often than not the hats got thrown down whilst they were playing, you just keep plonking them back on or go in the shade. No biggie, chill.

@UhtredRagnarson

You could try wearing his sunhat and telling him he can’t have it.

This is a good shout!! Do this!!!

H and M do some thin woolly bobble hat style hats, but made from stretchy thin cotton material. That might work?

It's much more harmful to keep your child inside for 5 days with no exercise or fresh air than taking them out in APRIL without a hat. You're making parenting much harder than it needs to be!!

It's so bloody cold at the moment he may as well wear the bobble hat anyway?!

I’d make sure he’s getting some vitamin D supplements. I agree with the hat, but if he’s completely covered up in the sun it’s likely he’s deficient.

Bandana? Hat with chin straps and sun cream?

You’re expecting a toddler to “humour you”. You have an unrealistic expectation of his level of understanding and emotional maturity- he’s not developmentally capable of “humouring you”, and he’s really not considering your feelings about the hat. He’s totally self centred, because he’s too young to be any different. You’re shooting yourself in the foot not going out at 4pm in April so he might wear a hat at midday in August. Of course you don’t let him burn, but there’s no need to make it into some monumental battle - you have to outwit toddlers not paint yourself into a corner.

It took me till they were around 4 for the no hat=no outside thing to sink in - until then you're basically playing toddler sunhat buckaroo and dodging complaints from bystanders.

I think people are being a bit harsh with op about this. My hat-resistant toddler got slightly burnt in our UK garden last April (not on my watch I hasten to add) so if her kid is very fair and doesn't have a lot of hair it probably is a realistic concern. Also lots of people saying just get a hat you tie on- at that age mine had worked out how to get those hats off by pulling them forward. Also avoiding being outdoors between 11 and 3 is quite restrictive. Agree, however, that the tactic of not going out until the toddler wears one isn't likely to work at this age.

I reckon the spray is a good idea op. For sun-dodging days out National Trust playground often seem to be well shaded.

You expect a 22 month old child to fully understand the concept of no hat meaning no outside? And to prove this point you have simply stayed in the house?

It's not working.

“Only mumsnet can make out your insane for wanting to try and prevent a very fair child from burning. I'm off, thanks anyway.”

No- people are gently trying to tell you to pick your battles and that being stuck inside for 4 days in April is disproportionate.

Aveda do a hair sunblock too or just slather him in mineral sunblock first thing.

I wear sunblock all year round too, skin cancers no joke.

Sorry if it's already been suggested but take him out first thing/late in the afternoon/to the woods!

I'm in Scotland and the other day I was on the beach with my 2 year old. I had a massive jumper on as it was pleasant but not boiling. I didn't think I would need sunscreen and actually thought it would be healthier to get him a bit of Vitamin D. He's burned. Not badly but I feel like a terrible mother 😪

You can literally buy sun cream for your scalp. It comes in a spray, I use it for my parting

I feel your pain. Personally in UK in April I would have let it go but made a big thing about keeping in shade as much as possible. Or just constantly put it back on his head when he flung it off - that’s what we did when needed. Or bought tie on hat. DS, who has sensory issues and is now a teenager, eventually accepted sunhats until he was about 10 but will not wear sun cream. Tried everything- bribery, pinning him down, ... Basically means no holidays in hot countries, no long days on beach, always trying to find shade. He has in the last month started to take a bit more care of himself (using face wash, combing hair) so am hoping this might be a turning point!

When I have made a clear “you can’t X unless Y” and they won’t do Y and it’s starting to be a pain for me too, I usually find an alternative way for them to earn X so I would suggest that - allow him to earn trip out by eg tidying his toys but then make it clear that you need to stick to the shade as far as you can (and reinforce it whilst ours with “it’s lovely here in the shady woods, if only you had a sunhat on we could go to the playground” etc).

Just go out without the hat. You're not in the Sahara. Lots of toddlers hate wearing hats.

So many absolute idiots in this thread. Ever heard of skin cancer? If my parents had been more insistent on the hat and sunglasses issue then I wouldn't have got cancer at such a young age. For fucks sake you are all so ignorant.