"No hat, no outside" not working. Been trapped inside with toddler for 4 days.

[SelfBuild]

Toddler (22 months) will not wear a sun hat, only a wooly bobble hat, we've tried 5 different sun hats with his favourite things on. Just not working. Went out last week and it was hot and he'd only put a bobble hat on and he was sodden with sweat afterwards.

So I toughened up, put the bobble hat out of sat and have lined up a selection of sun hats next to his shoes by the door. Everytime for the last 4 days he's asked to go in the garden, for a walk or to the park we've had the "no hat, no play/no go outside" argument. He will not back down and just tears it off so we haven't left the house. It's so sunny and nice and I'm just stuck indoors with a cranky toddler who hasn't had a proper run around in days but neither of us will back down.

What do I do?

Take him to a shop and let him pick a hat he likes.
Rub sun cream on his head.
You're expecting way too much of him.

If you are in the U.K. you are nuts 😂 but if you are in Australia or similar get one that ties up or put scalp protector cream on.

I think you’re taking this far too far. It’s nice but not extreme weather to refuse to leave the house if he’s not wearing a hat. 30 degrees in august perhaps but we’ve got a high of 12 predicted here today.

@Mwnci123

Are there any slightly older children that he likes who could wear a hat in front of him and get lots of praise? That sort of thing sometimes works on my toddler.

Mind you, when she was your child's age it was all a bit of a losing battle with the sun hats and I ended trying to keep her playing in the shade as much as possible. I got one I could fasten but she worked out how to take it off. Maybe a sun hat with a favourite tv character if available? My toddler will fairly reliably wear anything with Duggee on it.

Our current garden is completely unsafe and he can't go in it. Our house build isn't complete until later this year so when we're out in the sun we're out out and he just doesn't stay still it's impossible to keep him in the shade. He's getting sweaty and rashy on his head wearing his bobble hat running around in the sun. I've tried dinosaur car hats and things like that that he loves and he just won't even humour me

For now avoid the middle of the day. Try a different hat, maybe the one you have is to stiff/big/tight.

@ineedaholidaynow

Use sun cream over their head *@audweb*?

Well yes... and just wash it out later. Mind you, others had the same idea and I didn’t even know there was spray for scalps. I just thought wash it out later. Better to get outside than not.

Again. He’s under 2. He’s not “backing down” because he doesn’t understand the concept. You’re applying the kind of logic and consequences I use for a 4 year old approaching going to school. He is under 2.

No one is judging you for a child not having a hat on in April. Has someone said something to you about this? Because you seem absolutely fixated on something very minor.

I think you would be OK in the shade for half an hour or so? Its only April! Obviously in Summer a hat is best .However dont go out between 11 and 3 when sun is most fierce .Keep hair longish and maybe try a selection of hats, also wear one too so he feels like hes not the only one!

Unless you are in Australia I think you need to relax a little (lot).

You’re really going out of your way to make life hard for yourself as you can’t win a battle with a child to young to understand what’s going on. They change all the time at that age so there really isn’t any guarantee that cracking it now will work in summer or that not wanting to wear one now will mean he still won’t want to when it’s actually hot. Just relax and when it does get warm enough for this actually to be an issue then buy one you can tie under his chin or spray a light mist of sunscreen on his head and most importantly don’t let him spend too long in direct sun on a very hot day.

@audweb I didn’t know there was spray.

I just couldn’t imagine trying to rub sun scream through hair, especially the high factor stuff. Spray sounds good

I’m totally with you OP, I’m fair with red hair, as is my husband- my baby will not be going out without a sun hat.

You’ve mentioned woven hats, do you mean like wide brim straw hats? Because I was going to suggest that- my nephew will only wear one of those!

Falling that, theme hat? Fireman’s helmet? Policeman hat? Batman mask???

You're being ridiculous OP.

And I say that as a fair-skinned person who burns easily has a ginger child who is allergic to most sun creams. Just go outside.

Some observationd I have made on hats for my kids though. IMO they are always too small. My DC are 6 and 8 and wear adult sized caps. They wear them all the time (might help they're super Mario, I dunno). It's only been since buying adult sized hats for them that I've got them to wear them. So maybe size up?

Have you tried something like a bandana? Baseball cap? Dress up hat? Do you wear one yourself? You might find he gets on board if you wear one too.

Let him out without the hat. That’s the way they learn to want to wear a hat! Also, maybe take him shopping and get him to pick a hat? Think supermarket probably sell them now.

Have you tried letting him pick his own hat? I had an issue with my dd about "lumpy pants" 🙄 so I went online and we looked at some together and she picked the ones she wanted and now the problem is she will only wear pants she's picked 😂 my scalp burns I get Asda's own sun cream that's a clear spray and just spray it all over my head.

So, this is what worked for my DC, and might be worth a try.

My hat on, put them in buggy, hand them interesting toy / snack, put their hat on and go. They remove it, I stop and put it back on. Repeat for 20 mins and about 20 metres - no cross voice, no fuss, being patient way past the bit where they think it’s a fun game. Eventually, they became more interested in something else and left the darn thing on. And that was it. Took a few goes, but it worked.

You sound obsessive over this, which is more worrying than the hat itself. I think you are being way too OTT. You need to learn to deal with this ASAP in a more productive way as it will spill into other areas of parenting. I feel sorry for your child.

He has extremely fine extremely light blonde hair, really fair skin. He catches the sun really easily even with sun cream we have to use the highest factor. Again I'm well aware It's not as hot as it will be in August but the whole point of starting now is that he will be happily wearing a hat by August. He's not even 2 yet but he still knows he can't go outside without his shoes on, why does this need to be any different? No he won't grasp the concept of he will burn, obviously, but he can quote simply grasp just like his shoes, he wears both or doesn't go outside. He knew in the winter he had to wear his bobble hat, we says shoes and hat and taps his head when we get ready to go out (on colder days with his bobble hat). It's not some foreign concept/extremely advanced for a toddler to understand that.

Air temperature and uv levels aren’t the same thing, to those saying it isn’t August. UV levels in the UK are at their highest in June. So, yes, you can easily burn in April and May if you are particularly fair.

I've also had to defrost my car the last 3 days and we are still wearing woolly hats and coats. It hasn't got above 9 degrees all week. I can't imagine wearing a sun hat just yet.

When mine were little and it was actually hot, I simply replaced their hats repeatedly and if they didn't keep them on, we stayed in the shade or went out early morning or late evening while I carried on insisting on the hat whilst out in the sun. They gave in eventually. Preschool had the same rule so they heard it from everybody.

You indicated that he'll wear a woolly hat so let him wear that.

Then get a selection of other hats and get him to choose his favourite - it doesn't matter what the hat is made of.

I have 2 very ginger boys. I never worried about hats or suncream in April.

As it got warmer I did, but not by refusing to go out, by putting it back on every single time they threw them off . I wore them down eventually and they accepted it was easier just to wear the hat.

DS1 is 20yo now and rarely leaves the house without a hat. DS2 is nocturnal

OP put his sunhat on your head and tell him he can’t have it. Tell him it’s your hat now.

Only mumsnet can make out your insane for wanting to try and prevent a very fair child from burning. I'm off, thanks anyway.

Shove shit loads of sun cream on his head. Take him to the shops and let him choose a hat.