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Original poster

"No hat, no outside" not working. Been trapped inside with toddler for 4 days.

489 replies

SelfBuild · 17/04/2021 09:21

Toddler (22 months) will not wear a sun hat, only a wooly bobble hat, we've tried 5 different sun hats with his favourite things on. Just not working. Went out last week and it was hot and he'd only put a bobble hat on and he was sodden with sweat afterwards.

So I toughened up, put the bobble hat out of sat and have lined up a selection of sun hats next to his shoes by the door. Everytime for the last 4 days he's asked to go in the garden, for a walk or to the park we've had the "no hat, no play/no go outside" argument. He will not back down and just tears it off so we haven't left the house. It's so sunny and nice and I'm just stuck indoors with a cranky toddler who hasn't had a proper run around in days but neither of us will back down.

What do I do?

OP posts:
5zeds · 19/04/2021 07:41

The baby needs protecting from the sun. Don’t sit in the sun, don’t go out midday, wear sun screen, ....

icedgem85 · 19/04/2021 07:54

It’s April. Let him out!! That’s crazy! Also by summer he will be a totally different child. A couple of months is a long time in a toddler’s life and he will be easier to communicate with. Plus when he’s actually being annoyed by sun in his eyes and a hot head, he’ll reach for it when he has a bit more reasoning skill.

Maggiesfarm · 19/04/2021 08:23

Icedgem, I think the op lives in a hot country, maybe Australia.
It's flipping cold here but probably still burning hot there.

Interested in this thread?

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Behaviour & development Families
Octodog · 19/04/2021 08:25

@icedgem8 you should read up on the NHS guidance on sun protection for children. It states March to October as the time to be careful, wear sun protection etc.

Octodog · 19/04/2021 08:27

In fact today, in many parts of Britain the Met Office are predicting the highest level (5) of "Moderate Risk" for UV...

thelegohooverer · 19/04/2021 08:31

What worked with my very stubborn ds was to go outside without the hat and “remember” and go back inside for it.

He would happily refuse to go out (he struggled with transitions anyway) but would also want to stay outside when he was out. So it was easier to get the hat on.

If he knocked it off, I’d take him inside.

Solved the problem.

Beachmum23 · 19/04/2021 08:34

I would get a tie on hat and distract him once outside. All children in my family have grown up with the no hat, no outside rule. From 4 my daughter would automatically grab a hat before heading into the garden.

GrumpyHoonMain · 19/04/2021 08:36

Seems like a sensory thing. Go on etsy and buy a Knitted summer hat?

MoreWater · 19/04/2021 08:49

Haven't RTFT.

Go outside anyway. Replace hat repeatedly whilst outside.

Your 22 mo old can't make the cause/effect connection between the hat/going outside.

You're the adult here.

Jupiterstar · 19/04/2021 09:37

I got burnt on Saturday (in the south east, UK). I’m big on suncream and did my face but was wearing rolled up jeans and my ankles are now very burnt and sore! In case anyone is still saying ‘it’s April it’s cold’

Everydayyoungmum · 19/04/2021 10:11

@SelfBuild I had the same issue with both of my boys. With any hats during the summer and during the winter. I found that in the end we had to watch his as we were walking along and everyone they went to take it off we had to be stern and say ‘no’
I will admit they had a bit of a cry at first but after while they left it on and kind of forgot about it.

I hope you manage to get him into my a bath soon

Branleuse · 19/04/2021 10:16

this seems like such an odd hill to die on. Id have thought the benefits of going out to play outweighed any risks from not wearing a sunhat if hes dead set against it.

mylifestory · 19/04/2021 11:22

Let him wear the winter hat, he will soon notice how silly it is when he gets hot and sees others not wearing them. mine used to insist on wearing 2 hats. Also say you'll take the sunhat for when he gets too hot and he can change it .... then just go!

Wantosleep39 · 19/04/2021 12:19

Maybe go to the park somewhere with lots of tree? It’s not that hot it’s only 16 degrees outside. He will be ok without sun hat

Anits52 · 19/04/2021 14:15

I am a red head very fair skin and burn at the blink of sun. I wear SPF all year round on face as I burn on sunny days in northern ireland. I have gotten over this with spraying the hair and scalp sun cream as I am not a fan of hats and this has worked for me on the exposed parting in my hair, may be worth a try.

Harmonypuss · 19/04/2021 17:09

@Nonmaquillee

Have I tried reasoning with an under 2yr old?

Err, yes, I've got two sons, they're adults now, but yes most certainly I've reasoned with them and even if they stamped their feet and screamed, I still intended to keep the upper hand because I AM THE ADULT HERE!

Did they ever get their own way? Maybe occasionally but certainly not when it came down to their safety/health.

That's exactly what the OP has been trying to do, keep the child safe. That's why I've said she should maybe try the sunscreen so that it looks like he's getting away with having no hat, so basically, she would be protecting him from the sun but I'm pretty sure he'll hate it and will eventually accept the hat.

You have to do what you can to ensure that you get the child to do as they're told because as I've banged on about this from the start... YOU ARE THE ADULT HERE!!!

stalachtiteorstalagmite · 19/04/2021 17:16

Jesus there is some horrible advice on this thread. Keeping him stuck indoors for days is cruel (and so would be slathering his head in excess sun cream). He's not going to die if he goes out without a sunhat. Human beings have survived for millennia without sunhats. Just spray him with some aerosol sun cream and make sure he can access some shade. There is absolutely no reason to make such a big deal of this. I am honestly astounded.

Harmonypuss · 19/04/2021 17:19

@user1466068383

Surely not going outside for 4 days will be much worse for your toddler than not wearing a hat for half an hour?

Just a quick question for you, if you're saying that a toddler would suffer in some way from not going outside for 4 days, do you think that the same would apply to an adult? Just asking because I've not been outside in over a month and apart from being bored, I don't see that I'm 'suffering' in any way.

Lulu1919 · 19/04/2021 17:23

You can buy special scalp sun protection spray my daughter uses it .
Cotton beanie hat pulled over ears is better than nothing ....

Nonmaquillee · 19/04/2021 17:35

[quote Harmonypuss]@user1466068383

Surely not going outside for 4 days will be much worse for your toddler than not wearing a hat for half an hour?

Just a quick question for you, if you're saying that a toddler would suffer in some way from not going outside for 4 days, do you think that the same would apply to an adult? Just asking because I've not been outside in over a month and apart from being bored, I don't see that I'm 'suffering' in any way.[/quote]
Erm, you're an adult, remember? So you can rationalise staying inside for however long you choose to - up to you.

Keeping a small, barely verbal child inside for four days as a way of showing who has the upper hand with regards to wearing a sunhat is not just batshit crazy but, as I said upthread, horribly controlling and, yes, cruel.

Christ, what punishment is in store when the child turns down food or throws it on the floor? Shudder to think.... but crack on, as long as you have the UPPER ✋

user1466068383 · 19/04/2021 17:36

The OP states in her original post that her toddler is ‘cranky’ from not being allowed out to run around. So clearly it is affecting him negatively.
You are an adult (I assume) and have a fully developed brain and nervous system - and can find plenty of stimulation in your house - phone calls, movies, online exercise classes.
These diversions are not available to toddlers whose brains are developing. They need exercise, fresh air and stimulation.

Harmonypuss · 20/04/2021 02:01

@Nonmaquillee
@user1466068383

Yes, I'm an adult and can rationalise things but I don't "choose" to be stuck indoors for weeks on end, I have MS and right now I can't walk, so no I can't get out, in fact, I have to crawl to the toilet, bounce down the stairs on my ass, crawl across my rather long kitchen and pull myself up onto my stool just so that I can make myself a coffee or put something in the microwave. I have to use travel mugs for my drinks and plastic plates and bowls because I'm prone to dropping things, then when I'm ready to go back upstairs I have to crawl back across the kitchen, moving my cup and plate/bowl along in front of me then crawl back up the stairs moving moving my sustenance up ahead of me then crawl into the bedroom, put my things on the cabinet and pull myself back up into my bed. One trip downstairs can take a much as an hour to carry out.
I receive 1 telephone call per day from my partner who lives and works about 180 miles away. My son calls 2 or 3 times a week, apart from this I probably get 6 or 7 scam calls each day.
As much as I have a tv in the bedroom, I rarely watch it, preferring to read.
And as for online exercise classes, well... somehow I don't think these are suitable in my condition.
Regarding punishment, when I was a child, if I didn't eat the food put in front of me (none of the rubbish with today's kids where they choose what food they want), I would be made to sit at the table until bedtime if I didn't eat it and wasn't allowed to move for any reason at all. Then the same plate of food would be put in front of me for breakfast and again for my evening meal and the whole process would start again. On one occasion this went on for 4 days and she eventually threw it away.
I certainly didn't do this with my children, I did say no pudding or playtime if dinner plate not cleared, I knew what time we sat down to eat and I'd give them an hour to eat their meal and if not finished in that time they were sent to their rooms. Back in the early 90's children didn't have tv's or computers in their rooms, so entertainment in there was restricted pretty much to reading.
My children haven't suffered from the way I raised them, in fact, they are well educated, considerate, productive members of society.

poppycat10 · 20/04/2021 09:48

Interestingly I just received this article on an email today: patient.info/news-and-features/should-you-wear-sunscreen-even-when-its-cloudy

(sorry for the mahoosive cookie warning on that page, but you may be able to read over the top of it)

Bythemillpond · 20/04/2021 10:16

We were all out yesterday. Bright warm sunshine. It was fantastic to be back in t.shirts and getting the sun on our faces. Why if the UV levels were so high weren’t we burned or even had a tan line or some sort of redness when the U.K. levels were so high.

WrapUpWarm2021 · 20/04/2021 10:21

Not everyone has the same susceptibility. I was out yesterday for a couple of hours in the middle of the day. Today my cheeks look a little too rosy. I forgot my moisturizer.🤦
In a similar situation in August I'll be a little tanned and won't have the same noticeable effect.

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