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Original poster

Has anyone voluntarily downgraded/demoted for a less stressful life?

94 replies

PandaLorry · 11/04/2021 08:06

I have two DC aged 4 and 1 and currently work in a job which I find pretty stressful. Long hours, demanding senior managers, and I also line manage a couple of people who are quite difficult for different reasons.

I'm so over it. I look at colleagues doing lower graded work and I'm so envious. The expectations are so much clearer, it's much more transactional and task based (my senior managers are obsessed with being 'strategic') and the hours are fixed. plus no line management.

I used to do that kind of work myself so I know it does still have downsides, plus obviously the pay is lower. But I can't help feeling I'd be so much happier with more of a "job" rather than a "career" at this point in life. At evenings and weekends I'm always stressing about work and can't be present for my children.

Has anyone taken a voluntary downgrade at work? I could move to a different team so I wouldn't be working with the same people (which might be a bit odd since I used to be more senior). Is this a totally mad idea? I could apply for promotion again in a few years once I feel I've got more headspace again...

OP posts:

Helbelle75 · 11/04/2021 08:10

I have children the same age as yours and haven't gone back to work yet after my second mat leave. I'm thinking the same thing, not going back and getting a job which is much less pressure.
I'd be interested to hear of other people's experiences too.

Landlubber2019 · 11/04/2021 08:14

I changed career after my children were born, I now earn a load less and work in a job that I would not have considered pre children, its close to school and home. Love it. No amount of money could entice me back to what I did pre children.

mishgs · 11/04/2021 08:15

I'd say do it - life is too short. You don't want to miss your children's early years, it already goes by too quickly. I loved being available (or having the flexibility) to be there for the important occasions & even just the picking them up from school & going for an ice cream in the park on a nice day.
I reduced my days in work and I don't regret it one bit. I would love the extra money that it brings, but I would do it all again in a heartbeat.

ellesbellesxxx · 11/04/2021 08:16

Yes! I switched to part time supply teaching/tutoring rather than full time class teacher. No regrets!

FAQs · 11/04/2021 08:16

Not yet, but planning this in Sept next year when my daughter goes off to Uni, I'm hoping to stay in the same job but reduce my hours which I think they'll support, I'm also going to downsize my house (or let it out) for a smaller property so reduce outgoings, can't wait!

DinosaurDiana · 11/04/2021 08:17

I haven’t downgraded, I just never went for the promotion !
My new manager is around 15 years younger than me and I’m sure she looks down on me.
But I work my 7.5 hours and then walk out the door. I don’t get people texting me out of hours to call in sick, then have to arrange cover. I don’t have to stay until 5pm no matter what time I stared. I don’t get urgent calls and emails on my days off and leave.
I wouldn’t do her job for anything, she’s welcome to it. But I know I do my job better than she does hers 😉

FindingMeno · 11/04/2021 08:18

I am a massive underachiever and work to live not the other way round.
I've never had to downgrade since I have never had a career. Just want to put food on the table and live a simple life.
Thats not to say if I could earn mega bucks for an uncomplicated job on good hours that I would turn it down.

FAQs · 11/04/2021 08:18

@mishgs

I'd say do it - life is too short. You don't want to miss your children's early years, it already goes by too quickly. I loved being available (or having the flexibility) to be there for the important occasions & even just the picking them up from school & going for an ice cream in the park on a nice day. I reduced my days in work and I don't regret it one bit. I would love the extra money that it brings, but I would do it all again in a heartbeat.

Agree with this, I reduced my hours until my daughter was around 8 and then went full-time again, although at times it was a bit tight I have no regrets.

Carycy · 11/04/2021 08:19

Sort of. I went back to an old job. It’s is the same job but less specialist, less autonomy, more general. But I was in a toxic environment and the specialist quality of the job meant I was either alone with lots of responsibility or with toxic boss making my life difficult.
Now I am part of a bigger team. I have less responsibility. I go to work get on with, have more people to chat with in staffroom etc and come home and forget about it. I am much happier. I do feel sad that I have let a skill go. But you can’t have everything. Same pay though which helps.

JuliaHulia · 11/04/2021 08:20

I've just given up leadership responsibilities in a school to be a general teacher I September. I can't wait

saraclara · 11/04/2021 08:21

I dropped my management role and went back to purely being a class teacher, after my husband died. It was a massive relief, and I loved my job again.

Frazzled2207 · 11/04/2021 08:23

Early days but my dh has just taken voluntary redundancy from a highly paid but fairly high stress job. Not sure exactly what he’s doing next but general plan is to go into a field which is of genuine interest to him but we expect pay and responsibilities to be much lower.
Good for him I say.
The only small catch is it it means I now need to go out and get a pretty well paid job. But I’m up for it tbh with 4 years as almost a sahm and 4 years before that a mix of part time and may leave.

Frazzled2207 · 11/04/2021 08:23

Mat leave not may leave

Arbadacarba · 11/04/2021 08:25

Sort of. During a restructure, there was an opportunity to take a role at a lower level (no impact on current pay but future payrises affected) and I took this. The previous role had involved people management and after doing that for about 10 years, frankly I'd had enough. It's a thankless job and I'd started to resent the people I managed, so clearly it was time to step away. That was 5 years ago and I haven't regretted it.

Useruseruserusee · 11/04/2021 08:25

No but my husband did after our second was born. He went from full time to part time teaching and has no regrets at all about it. It works really well for our family as a whole.

I still work full time and am now a Deputy Head.

newstart1234 · 11/04/2021 08:26

Yes I deliberately did not progress my career when I had my first maternity leave because frankly I couldn’t be bothered with a career and small children. It has worked well so far but of course I may not think the same in 20 years if I’ve not progressed as much as I’d have liked. Having said that, I have had all my time at home free of work based stress and I’ll never regret spending more energy on my time free time when my kids were very small. Caveat is I’m not hugely ambitious in terms of career and I will be happy with never progressing to the top of my profession - it’s just not for me. Also we have had to reduce our spending over the years so that’s another consideration but for us it’s not effected our quality of life simply because we’ve gained in other ways.

rookiemere · 11/04/2021 08:27

I went down a grade through choice when DS was 3 and I was going through issues because of endometriosis and ttc. It worked really well for me as I could go properly pt without logging on in the evenings and feeling the dread all the time. It was easy enough to go for a job back at my old grade once he was older and I still work a 4 day week now he's a teen.
The main issue for me now is that my pension is not what it could have been had I stayed at a higher grade, but actually now I think about it they froze the benefits on it so it probably isn't much different.

IdrisElbow · 11/04/2021 08:29

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

MargosKaftan · 11/04/2021 08:30

I sort of did. I gave up work to be a SAHM and then got a new job when dc2 started school that's part time and very junior to what I did before. At interview they did ask if I would be happy with doing less, and I said I wanted a job that was busy while I was there, but I could walk out the door and not think about it again until I walked back in.

That said, I think I've gone too far to the low stress so would think of other options.

A friend of mine took her job down to 3 days a week when she went back after her dc2, but paid for 3.5 days of childcare, so she had a morning without dc2 (her dc1 was at school) to do all her evening paperwork/study/ extra stuff. When her dc2 starts school she's not going to full time, just to give herself the extra head space.

lotionInTheBasket · 11/04/2021 08:31

I did it after my first child. I was at senior sales level and had also covered manager roles for another colleagues maternity leave but hated doing presentations, reports, appraisals etc... I just liked the job itself and managing client accounts.
I took a client executive role at another company and only work 2 days a week and can't imagine ever feeling like I'd want to be back full time in a senior role. It really worked for me OP.

DinosApple · 11/04/2021 08:33

We had a business. It was unbelievably hard work and stressful. We had children in that time too, plus one parent in a care home, staff issues, (work) landlord issues, no local family and at work 6 or 7 days a week.

Selling up was the best thing we ever did. Now we earn shit money (covers the bills) and DH is part time and I'm term time only. Our DC are 10 and 11. I love it.

user1471538283 · 11/04/2021 08:33

I kind of did but during a restructure was given a role with the same salary (but no pay rises) at a lower grade. I still effectively work at the higher grade. My boss is fab and after some horrendous ones I really appreciate him. I feel valued.

OneKeyAtATime · 11/04/2021 08:40

I used to be a secondary school teacher and was absolutely miserable. I quit without having any plans and ended up working in a call centre for a while until I figured out what I wanted to do. It took me a year but I don't regret it at all. The job I took afterwards was much less stressful than secondary teaching and while the pay was less at first, it has now surpassed a teacher's . It wasn't the intention but it is a lovely bonus!

PolarnOPirate · 11/04/2021 08:43

Essentially yes, chose to be a SAHM as we are not interested in adding any extra stress into our lives - DH works abroad a lot (pre covid) and juggling my job and childcare and school and homework.... just not interested in the stress of that. Just cut our cloth accordingly!

Jenjenn · 11/04/2021 08:44

I did this (moved to a different team at lower grade to reduce stress and for part time options) I found the change quite difficult at the start to be honest and was surprised how hard it was to be cut out of decision-making. I found that since then every time there are opportunities or challenging times, senior managers assume that I would step up again. You will need to set boundaries and be firm as they might not stop asking you to take on extra work. Overall, it has worked out great for me I am so much happier as is my family.

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