Has anyone voluntarily downgraded/demoted for a less stressful life?

[PandaLorry]

I have two DC aged 4 and 1 and currently work in a job which I find pretty stressful. Long hours, demanding senior managers, and I also line manage a couple of people who are quite difficult for different reasons.

I'm so over it. I look at colleagues doing lower graded work and I'm so envious. The expectations are so much clearer, it's much more transactional and task based (my senior managers are obsessed with being 'strategic') and the hours are fixed. plus no line management.

I used to do that kind of work myself so I know it does still have downsides, plus obviously the pay is lower. But I can't help feeling I'd be so much happier with more of a "job" rather than a "career" at this point in life. At evenings and weekends I'm always stressing about work and can't be present for my children.

Has anyone taken a voluntary downgrade at work? I could move to a different team so I wouldn't be working with the same people (which might be a bit odd since I used to be more senior). Is this a totally mad idea? I could apply for promotion again in a few years once I feel I've got more headspace again...

I have asked a few times to be demoted due to stress. I work in a very stressful job and its impacted on my personal life and mental health. I want to have more time to be actively present with my children not just physically there because my mind is on work all the time.

Anyway work have put me off stating they don't think il like it. Which is ridiculous.

I now have a new job which I got after interviewing last week. Its a step sideways but with a lot less pressure and better management. The work load is less and to top it off its 3k a year more than im on now.....ha in your face current management 🤣

Me!

3 days a week.

I want to be there for my children, I like to have an organised clean and tidy home, I like to go to the gym, I like to potter.

Do it!

I did last year and it was the best thing I have done.
Very similar to you I had very demanding senior management and equally demanding reportees. I found I was logging on early morning and still working evenings and weekends. It was beginning to make me very ill!

I handed in my notice and was then offered the opportunity to step down instead.
Initially I declined due to the 'shame' but realised it made absolute sense to stay with the company I knew well rather than start somewhere else.

I'm now part of the team I used to manage and am thoroughly enjoying it. I can shut my laptop off at 5pm and not give work a second thought until 9am the next morning.
I am mentally and physically healthier (due to having my personal time back where I can exercise) as well as more time with my family.

If a drop in salary isn't an issue then I would say go for it!

I tried to do this whilst staying in my organisation. I'd initially sought promotions out of youthful sense of competition and found myself in exactly your position. My management structure wouldn't let me interview for lower positions. 10+ years later I'm grateful for the additional pension contributions, I'll be able to retire a little bit earlier as a result, i do case is about the parts of it that irritate me, and I do now see my own job as easier than lower positions. If I'd really valued being downgraded above all else I'd have had to move, as I didn't then, from my perspective, the win would have been 50/50 either way, equal but different benefits.

I left social work after 23 yes and have a job in a school now.
I have taken a big pay cut but I save money on childcare costs and travel.
I also get the school holidays off which massively benefits the children and myself as well as dh not needing to take annual leave to share childcare.
I feel like a different person and am much healthier and less likely to have a heart attack from stress.

I did and it didn't work out well at all.

I was a manager in an accountancy practice - happy there, had my own client portfolio and headed up a small group of staff and heading for partnership. One of my clients was a fast growing manufacturing firm who needed an "in house" finance director and I was offered first refusal - double the pay, company car, etc. I jumped at the chance. What a mistake! The workload was immense as was the pressure in dealing with the multi million pound finances, trying to manage cash flow, managing dozens of staff, etc. I realised almost the first week that it was a massive mistake and it took me 2 years to "escape" back to accountancy practice. I couldn't get a job back as a manager as I'd been out of practice too long so was too rusty with tax changes etc, and anyway, I was burned out after 80 hour working weeks etc., so I took a job as a "senior" in an accountancy practice with the hopes of working my way back up to being a manager and ultimately partner.

Another disaster. My "manager" was younger, less qualified and had less experience than I had. Even some of the partners were less experienced/less qualified. I really tried for the first few weeks and months just to chill out, do what they said, smile and nod when I knew they were wrong. But ultimately, I found I just couldn't hold my tongue which led to some fraught working relationships and I knew any hope of promotions etc had evaporated. So I left that and started my own accountancy practice.

To cut a long story short, I think if you're going to downgrade yourself to a lesser job, then it needs to be in a different sector/industry. In my case, I downgraded to the same kind of job where I'd previously been the manager/supervisor and it really didn't work for me because when I went down to a lesser job, I knew my manager's job better than he did and couldn't adapt to being his underling.

Yes. Both DH and I could work more and earn more but we made a decision that this wasn’t how we wanted to live. DH is always home for tea time and bed time, as am I. In the summer we can do things in the evenings, he is on hand to take DC to hobbies etc. Don’t get me wrong, life is still stressful but not the overwhelming type I imagine it would be if we chose the other path. As a family we are very close. We have time to have animals which we love.
We pay for this with much smaller house and crappier cars etc than our peers but I wouldn’t change it for the world.
Life can sweep you along on a bloody exhausting treadmill, as long as you can provide what the family need in real terms (as in don’t just Chuck it all in and go on benefits) then do what makes you happiest.

Pretty much yes. I was working in a hectic retail social media manager role 9-6 five days. It was never going to be a good balance for me. I now have a new 3 day a week social media role, where I mostly work remotely, but for one day in each week. Flexibility really helps, and my son goes to a childminder two days (increasing to 3 at some point). I think a happier, easier life is better than £££ isn’t it?

I did. DS is autistic and needs a lot of care so I went part time and took a lower graded job (couldn't do my old job part time). It was the right thing to do but it is bloody boring.

I dropped a day at work. My job is very stressful and quite well paid. There's always so much work to do and not enough hours in the day plus I was finishing at 7pm, not getting home until 7.30pm coming straight home and putting my youngest straight to bed - she was 4 at the time.

I dropped a day, I used to work 4 days - now I work 3 days. I said I couldn't work until 7pm anymore - can only work until 5pm or 6pm, so now I get home at 5.30 or 6.30 my youngest is 6 now, I can see her for an hour or 2 before she goes to bed. Can make dinner and read her school book too.
So much better.
I'm not even missing too much in wages as I get less tax and ni taken out.
A win for me as I wasn't coping

I’m thinking about this right now. I’ve always been really ambitious and have got to a good point in my pretty niche career. I earn a lot of money. But I really hate my job. My kids are 6 and 9 so not at home but I think I want to go back fo a less senior role. However it would involve a big paycut. I’m hoping they make me redundant so I don’t have to make the choice myself.

I did this when my children were younger and it was a massive relief. However now they are older Id like to re-engage with my career but I’ve lost so much time.

I was going to write this exact post yesterday. I'm reasonably senior management and due to a number of reasons over the last year have become very stressed and anxious over work. I broke down with my line manager before Easter and raised the possibility of demoting myself as. One solution. I think it would be the ideal solution. My line manager understandably tried to put me off making a decision when I'm not in a good place. I've been off for Easter since, so I need to face him again tomorrow. I still think demotion is an attractive option but I might explore whether there are any other options to get me out of my current role before making the decision.

I left teaching and a took part time job in higher education due to stress. It was the best move I ever made. Eventually I got a full time post in another university and it was the best job I ever had. Many years before my husband took a demotion to change careers. It was very hard at the time but it paid off at the end. We spend too much time at work to stick with a job that makes us unhappy. You just have to adjust your expectations.

I did that after my first kid, I also work in a ridiculously stressful and long hours industry, I had been promoted to a stupid position just as I announced I was pregnant which basically saw me heading up a department that never had a head before without a clear understanding of my role.. oh and I had to do it one day a week while still delivering my old job. Needless to say I failed miserably and one condition of me coming back after maternity was going back to just doing my old job. It worked out mixed for me to be honest, people who were now my junior and I even managed have been promoted ahead of me and I report into. From an ego perspective it is bruising and I do feel resentful at times, but that is my own problem.. I just have an awful inferiority complex, equally I know I would absolutely hate their jobs and genuinely don’t want that level of responsibility. Loving the irony, so I would say if from a mental health perspective you will be fine to take the demotion then definitely do it, but I would personally do it somewhere else.

Yes. My DH deliberately chose not to progress up the ladder to management and is very happy with his (lesser paid but more enjoyable role). I work p/t now so I can spend more time with kids, which is wonderful. Money is okay but no overseas holidays. We have a lovely home and in a gorgeous area and don’t feel we need to earn vast amounts to be happy. Quite content as it is. Money is not everything and I don’t miss the stress of trying to juggle life.

I was a team leader in a large financial company for about 3 years, I didn’t mind managing the work but hated the people management side.

When I heard my manager was considering recruiting someone to do the role I’d previously done (really interesting customer service work), I didn’t have to think twice, I told her how unhappy I was managing people and asked if I could have my old role back. Fast forward a month and I was back where I belonged and on the same salary, but no pay rises for a while.

I was lucky as I had a great manager but I would have happily taken a pay cut. Life is too short to be unhappy. Good luck with whatever you decide.

Yes, haven’t actively gone for demotion but like previous posters I’ve consciously decided against going for promotions. For me it’s a trade off between less stress and more income and the less stressful option wins every time.

I did this after my second mat leave. Went part time in a lower graded role (applied for a new job, didn't stay with current employer). I did that until my youngest was in school and it was great. The work was a bit dull but didn't challenge me and I had 2 days each week at home with my kids. No stress.

Shortly after my youngest started school a senior manager vacancy came up and I got that and went back to FT.

Worked out great for me.

Yes pretty much

Thought it was circumstances initially I have decide, for the time being, not being anyone’s manager is just perfect. The salary less so!

I have been approached with opportunities a couple days of times and it requires a bit of fortitude and self care to say ‘not right now but maybe in the future’ as I don’t want to over balance my life in favour of work while I have small children.

I have been where you are OP. I had a successful, well earning, VERY stressful job a few years ago. It was causing me to lose sleep and I would be short-tempered with the kids because I felt like my stress levels were at capacity the whole time.

We really tightened our belts, I came out of work entirely and have been a SAHM for the last 2 years. My eldest was so glad, he really hated the tension in the house. I've really enjoyed it and it's been lovely having the time to calmly help with homework and to get a nice meal ready. I do miss some of the social interaction, lockdown hasn't helped with that because there has been no real opportunity to join clubs or volunteer.

Recently I have been approached to do maternity leave cover in my previous field of work. I've negotiated 3 days a week leaving at 3.30. It's with a different company that has a good reputation for valuing their employees and work/life balance. I'm cautiously hopeful. I think getting home early will make the evenings less stressful and I can be patient and present for homework and dealing with school admin. I will be able to pay into a pension again and invest in our future and hopefully be able to afford a few holidays and things with the kids. Ultimately, if it didn't pan out I would look to do something else, maybe take some time out to retrain. Life is short.

I used to be a higher manager in a very stressful industry. I remember breastfeeding my 10 day old baby whilst trying to complete a project for a large amount of money. Kids went to nursery 7.30 and I was in a lot of meetings.
Fast forward I left. The stress became too much as I had a useless husband whom I am now divorced.
I work in a shop now. I have no stress, can walk away and although the pay is shit I have work life balance. Cheesy phrase but it makes sense.

I am a massive underachiever and work to live not the other way round.
I've never had to downgrade since I have never had a career. Just want to put food on the table and live a simple life.
Thats not to say if I could earn mega bucks for an uncomplicated job on good hours that I would turn it down.

I'm exactly the same. In fact I took voluntary redundancy from a job I wasn't enjoying and haven't been able to find another permanent job and am living on a temporary part-time job (which I enjoy) with a benefit top up. I have never regretted my decision, I may be poorer, but I'm also happier. I really would prefer to never work full time again.

Yes. Both dh and I worked in jobs not really sustainable with a family. Out the house before sun rose, home in dark, worked some weekends. Stuck in the city rat race I guess

We moved countries. Different pace of life. Now both work from home and have a baby. It’s busy still but workable.

I did a high-powered, stressful management job in education for a decade, it stopped being fun even though the money and benefits were good.

I took semi-retirement but COVID scuppered my plans so I'm now in a different part of the country, doing a similar job but part-time and at the lowest level. It's bliss. I have absolutely zero responsibility, I walk in, do the nice bits and walk out again. Previously I would have had to have dealt with all the staffing issues, health and safety, all the finance...now I do none of that. I really don't care about the drop in income, it's worth it and I wonder why I didn't make changes much sooner. The cash isn't worth the stress.