Anyone else feeling thoroughly inadequate as a mother today?

[Badgershy]

I know I'm not. We've had a lovely, low key Easter. Everything we do is low key. Walk around the park with grandparents yesterday, roast dinner and a forest walk today. National trust gardens with friends tomorrow for an Easter trail. DS has been mountain biking, DH has been for a long jog, I've been reading my book. Lovely. I think it's time I quit social media. I haven't got an Easter tree or Easter baskets or personalised boxes or floral displays. We haven't got a BBQ or a fire pit. We've not had friends over for a garden party. I just handed DS his egg this morning which he happily scoffed for breakfast. I know I'm not a shit mum but I genuinely feel like I'm not making enough effort, everyone else is having more fun, making more memories.

And to top it off I've just seen a candid photo that DH took of me and I look absolutely bloody awful. Fat, bloated, wrinkly. Who knew a smile hid all those things!

I think you have found the answer already!

Sounds like you are all having a lovely holiday.

You sound like a great mother to me

Sorry you’re feeling this way op. You have done loads more than us!!! I don’t think most people are ‘doing’ anything!!
Give yourself a break. Sounds like lockdown is getting to you!!
If you really feel so bad about it do film night with the kids and let them stay up later than usual, or bake or something.
Don’t be so hard on yourself seriously!!

I drank a whole bottle of wine while the kids inhaled chocolate and DH faffed about with the lawnmower.

Best. Day. Ever.

I think your weekend sounds lovely and pretty in line with what everyone else is doing. Sm is not real life anyway. It's only a tiny snapshot. They still have to change shitty nappies and clean toilets and scrub the oven..it's just who is going to show that reality?

Just remember - when the grass on the other side of the fence seems greener, it's usually because it's fertilised with bullshit.

Having more fun? You seem happy, your kid is happy, your hubby got to do his thing.
More memories? Of what? You saw family, you had a great meal, you are going for a nice walk tomorrow (bring rain gear - should have gone today!). Not sure a fireplace or a BBQ equals better fun or memories.

Easter trees and fire pits don't equal a happy family or great memories.
I imagine it's quite sad to put yourself under such pressure and feel the need to post about it looking for validation.
These people tend to have low self esteem and their lives are often not as perfect as they like to paint.

‘Making memories’ is bollocks. Or brains don’t remember (or not) to order.

Dc had an Easter egg in the house this morning, since then they've helped cut the grass, mop the house, gone through the deck boxes in the garden and sorted out all their toys they don't want anymore as dh is doing a tip run this afternoon. We're moving house so getting organised while the weather is nice, so a low key easter here too!

Low key is usually low stress and enjoyable for all.
You obviously put more effort in going places and seeing people which I think is great.

Sounds perfect to me! My DD had a little egg hunt at home this morning, I gave her one Easter egg and some books she’s been after. She got 3 other eggs from family members, we spent the day in the sunshine the park and now we’re settling down in front of a movie with chocolate. My Facebook feed is full of people who have Easter trees and decorations up and their kids have been delivered massive Easter balloons and piles of eggs. It’s just not my style and doesn’t sound like it’s yours either.

We went to the beach yesterday, today everyone has had a lazy day, I’ve read a book, the kids are having more screen time than is probably healthy, and more chocolate than is good for them but we really need a down day so it’s fine.

I’ve a roast dinner on the go and we’ll watch a movie together later. No Easter trees or Easter colouring in etc here but everyone is relaxed and happy.

FoxyTheFox that's cheered me right up!

Thanks everyone. I know you're all right, SM gets in my head every time. I am going to delete it all, its not good for me. I know it's just a snap shot and I'm sure if I made the effort I could make our weekend of doing very little seem magical but it doesn't matter how often I tell myself that it still gives me that horrible inadequate feeling.

I did try and do film night last night but DH was snoring 10 mins in and DS was complaining about the film (ET) so we gave up.

You've done more than us. We have MIL visiting and had a lovely day out yesterday to the gardens of a local stately home. Today we have eaten our body weight in chocolate, relaxed in the sun in the garden and are now watching the boat races (not happy so far!). I don't do FB etc, but the neighbours seem to be having a very similar day to us today.

Your weekend sounds perfect to me

My day went slightly differently because I have teenagers, so Friday as their first day off school I gave them a small 4" chocolate bunny each. Then yesterday a bag of Areo eggs, then this morning they had 1 normal sized Easter egg that I left where I knew they would find them in front of their computers.

That is it, no trees, no egg hunt (have done that when they were younger) no Easter decorations. Just a bit of chocolate mainly because I feel sorry for Ds1 who is revising for the "non" exam exams for his A levels.

I think some Easter decorations can look lovely, but as long as you are all healthy and happy I think that is the important message. In previous years my lovely Mum and MIL would buy my children books at Easter. A much better gift in my opinion.

I'm suffering with an illness and my husband does not put in the effort I normally would to design an Easter egg hunt and decorate and make the say special. I've just been pretty absent like you and social media has been a contrast to my reality! But my kids are happy and have had a great day eating chocolate. Don't feel bad, the majority of people don't do l the perfect stuff, and those that do might be lacking elsewhere- you're teaching your kids to be down to earth and low key and not be trying to impress people!

Glad you've all had a really lovely day, not for the outside would but for yourselves! Enjoy it and maybe take a SM break for a few days if you can. You will see a definite positive impact on your mood! X

I am like this, friend just shared how they had an amazing Easter breakfast, egg hunt and decorations everywhere.... whereas I just got my kids a big Easter Egg and that’s that

Our kids are all around 18 FWIW

But she made me feel like a crap mum

I know it’s idiotic

Nah! Half these people didn't "make memories" before there was social media to brag about it!

This is why i deleted fb a week or so ago. I cant seem to stop myself believing all its rubbish and getting sucked in to comparing lives.

Your weekend sounds amazing!

I did an Easter hunt but that’s it. We have nowhere nice to go so we’ve been doing what we’ve done for a year. Get takeout, watch movies. I’d rather have your weekend than ours.

Although I did order my oldest a beginner model paint kit this week and he’s actually off his xbox today and using it. And said he’s so happy. So that’s a win.

You aren’t a shit mum, you just aren’t joining in the competitive parenting on social media!

All that shit isn’t actually for the children, it’s for Instagram likes!

Is it even Easter if you don't have a wreath, personalised chocolate eggs inside a life sized bunny made of balloons, homemade hot cross buns. Easteer teepee and the real life Easter bunny delivery Gifts in person?

Ah yes Easter cake. And I don't mean shredded wheat nests