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Original poster

Anyone else feeling thoroughly inadequate as a mother today?

98 replies

Badgershy · 04/04/2021 16:23

I know I'm not. We've had a lovely, low key Easter. Everything we do is low key. Walk around the park with grandparents yesterday, roast dinner and a forest walk today. National trust gardens with friends tomorrow for an Easter trail. DS has been mountain biking, DH has been for a long jog, I've been reading my book. Lovely. I think it's time I quit social media. I haven't got an Easter tree or Easter baskets or personalised boxes or floral displays. We haven't got a BBQ or a fire pit. We've not had friends over for a garden party. I just handed DS his egg this morning which he happily scoffed for breakfast. I know I'm not a shit mum but I genuinely feel like I'm not making enough effort, everyone else is having more fun, making more memories.

OP posts:

Missingjigsawpuzzle · 04/04/2021 16:49

I suggest doing what I do...join tons of hobby/interest pages on social media. I now genuinely never see friends posts on FB as I only ever get dog/gardening/wildlife/community page updates. I have to manually search for a friend's page to see their stuff

Your Easter sounds lovely and chilled but homely too

MrsWhites · 04/04/2021 16:50

@yellowlorry123

Is it even Easter if you don't have a wreath, personalised chocolate eggs inside a life sized bunny made of balloons, homemade hot cross buns. Easteer teepee and the real life Easter bunny delivery Gifts in person?

Ah yes Easter cake. And I don't mean shredded wheat nests

My son wouldn’t sleep for a week if one of those creepy looking ‘Easter bunnies’ came to visit our house!

MysteriousMonkey · 04/04/2021 16:50

Nope and I haven't done anything except set up an Easter scavenger hunt (copied off Google took five mins) and drunk wine. Actually feeling quite accomplished

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yellowlorry123 · 04/04/2021 16:51

@MrsWhites I know. Creepy

MysteriousMonkey · 04/04/2021 16:52

Oh and reminded my kids I don't believe in the Easter bunny and if I saw one we'd make an Easter bunny stew... We wouldn't, I can barely cook, but I wouldn't want them to think there will ever be one in this house

WeekendCEO · 04/04/2021 16:58

The key is to stop giving a fuck what others are doing. You will be so much happier then.

MadMadMadamMim · 04/04/2021 16:59

If it cheers you up I was bloody miserable as a child because my DM was determined to organise things for us to do that she thought would be good for us.

I'm not sociable - and I didn't want to spend evenings and weekends taking part in 'fun' activities. They were forever inviting friends to stay for the weekend SUCH fun,, darling! and I loathed it. Having to spend time with kids I often wasn't the same age as and had nothing in common with, simply because their parents were friends of my parents.

I'd have been happy left alone with a book. Today's competitive parenting would have made me suicidal, frankly.

Fembot123 · 04/04/2021 17:00

Sounds like you had a lovely day.

StepawayfromtheBiscuittin · 04/04/2021 17:02

Oh sorry you're feeling a bit rubbish OP but I am very relieved to read your post as all the pics on social media were driving me nuts too.
We did a small hunt in the garden here for ours - with eggs that they know we bought, not from a bunny. No door wreath although we have some tulips in a vase and definitely no fancy table centrepieces with chicks or bunnies in them.

PrincessTuna · 04/04/2021 17:04

You've done way more than me OP. I came off social media for similar reasons, I felt like everyone's lives were way more exciting and sociable than me, and I felt totally meaningless.

CMOTDibbler · 04/04/2021 17:04

God, you've done loads more than we have. We're not seeing anyone at all, no roast, no special outing - I went to the lake yesterday to swim, dh and ds have cycled, I've walked the dogs a lot. Ds got an egg from us, but that was it tbh. Its been like every other weekend for the last year but with more chocolate.

FoxyTheFox · 04/04/2021 17:05

We've also just spent a merry twenty minutes rummaging in the recycling bins for empty plastic bottles to make mini-greenhouses because its forecast to freeze tonight and I've put new plants in the garden so needed something to cover them.

Nothing says #makingmemories or #preciousmoments like shoving your four year old into a wheelie bin and telling her to pass out the empty bottles while sending your older DC to knock at your mates house to collect her empties.

BigPaperBag · 04/04/2021 17:05

I always think of it like this. For the whole of time there were families that did more/bought more/had more etc. They just didn’t have SM to show it all off on. Therefore, you just carry on with what you want to do and let the show offs do what they want to do. Who cares?

Original poster

Badgershy · 04/04/2021 17:05

MadMadMadamMim that's a very valid point. We're all introverts, we do like socialising but we all like a cut off and none of us actually like having people round the house, I'd much rather arrange to meet somewhere. When DS was little I'd invite his friends round to play and after an hour or so he'd be whispering in my ear 'when are they leaving?'. He's got lots of friends but he likes quiet time at home just like DH and I do. I do need to remind myself that it's fine to be like that.

OP posts:

Crappyfridays7 · 04/04/2021 17:07

My kids aren’t even here
I didn’t get eggs till the last minute am quite annoyed at myself. Never had an Easter tree or decorations. There are people who really ‘do’ Easter Halloween etc and that’s great for them if that’s what they enjoy.

I’m a last minute a bit scatterbrained person. My kids have had a lovely time with their dad and come back tomorrow for Easter with me. As long as you’re happy & your kids enjoy your activities op it really doesn’t matter what bill and barb are doing on Facebook. I don’t give a hoot. I never compare myself because I do it my way. We have fun though and enjoy our time together.

I’m like ten tonne tess just now, I feel awful I caught a reflection of myself earlier and a bit disgusted with myself BUT, I have kids and family that love me as do you, it’s hard sometimes not being happy with your looks/weight. I’ve had major health issues recently so I’m quite grateful to be here and ok tbh the weight issue will hopefully settle once I stop steroids.

Enjoy the rest of your Easter 🐣 everyone

LookAChicken · 04/04/2021 17:11

In my imagination an ideal day involves a lot of people around but in reality I'm a bit like your son - when will they all leave!

HastingsIsSuckingDiesel · 04/04/2021 17:16

Covid and lockdowns have been shit but the one good thing that's come out of it for our family is that we have all slowed down, chilled out together and switched off a bit.

No massive insta- worthy moments here there never are tbh!), just gave the kids some Easter eggs, nice cooked breakfast, long walk then they played online with friends this afternoon whilst I went back to bed

Lovely relaxing day!

CryMeALiver · 04/04/2021 17:16

Fucking social media had better not ruin Easter. It’s the best holiday. Nothing to buy except chocolate. No fucking getting the decorations down from the loft. No fucking elf on the shelf. J no family drama. No expectations. You get a double length weekend and two short work weeks and plenty of daylight to enjoy it in. I refuse to do anything else.

TreadSoftlyOnMyDreams · 04/04/2021 17:16

@Missingjigsawpuzzle

Your Easter sounds lovely and chilled but homely too

Is this a thing? I clearly don't have friends who do this sort of shite as I was oblivious. I have seen the odd website selling "Easter decorations" and thought, I can't be arsed with that.

Your weekend sounds lovely OP. I don't feel under the remotest pressure to turn it into some sort of pseudo wedding day!

peachhouses · 04/04/2021 17:17

Sounds like a great few days!

aSofaNearYou · 04/04/2021 17:17

Your Easter sounds pretty high key to me 😂

BertieBotts · 04/04/2021 17:19

I didn't do any of that stuff! I don't feel bad because other people want to make Easter OTT.

Get togethers sound lovely actually but we don't have family close enough to do it. We did a little bit of chocolate hunting and had a nice time. I don't get the eggs magically appearing overnight thing, nor presents for Easter (other than an egg handed directly to the person!) It just wasn't part of my childhood, so I haven't started it for my kids.

IpanemaNova · 04/04/2021 17:20

I haven’t looked at fb this year and feel better for it. We are going through a stressful move and for the first time I forgot to get Easter eggs and there were non left when we tried to buy them this week.

It was actually mumsnet that really upset me yesterday because posters on the ‘no eggs left’ thread were saying people should be more organised...etc

But my dc were very sweet about it and I’m sure it will be remembered as the Easter that we didn’t have any Easter eggs

PickAChew · 04/04/2021 17:23

I have teens who don't give a shit about anything Eastery so apart from a few baked or chocolatey treats, through the week, the effort I have made is proportionate.

We do have a little Easter garland up but it's one my mum made for me, years ago, and I keep finding it in a drawer around May or June, so made a point of putting it up, this year.

BertieBotts · 04/04/2021 17:23

Oh, and DS1 (12) set up the Easter hunt for DS2 (2) which was lovely and a proper smug insta family moment.

Then on the way home DS2 abruptly changed direction and tripped over DS1 who was just walking beside him, spilled his eggs all over the car park and wailed. We got all of that picked up and sorted and then we went into the lift and DS2 was letting his basket droop, so DS1 tried to help him steady it and DS2 dropped it again in a panic which set him off crying again as the eggs rolled all over the floor! And I snapped at DS1 for interfering. He didn't stop really until we got inside and he spread them all out on the floor on purpose.

So yeah what a perfect family insta moment :o

I still think we had a nice day :)

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