Anyone else feeling thoroughly inadequate as a mother today?

[Badgershy]

I know I'm not. We've had a lovely, low key Easter. Everything we do is low key. Walk around the park with grandparents yesterday, roast dinner and a forest walk today. National trust gardens with friends tomorrow for an Easter trail. DS has been mountain biking, DH has been for a long jog, I've been reading my book. Lovely. I think it's time I quit social media. I haven't got an Easter tree or Easter baskets or personalised boxes or floral displays. We haven't got a BBQ or a fire pit. We've not had friends over for a garden party. I just handed DS his egg this morning which he happily scoffed for breakfast. I know I'm not a shit mum but I genuinely feel like I'm not making enough effort, everyone else is having more fun, making more memories.

My family isn't religious, so Easter isn't a big deal, the kids have chocolate, and that's that! I've been appreciating spring since it started springing months ago, and I appreciate having some time off with the family.

We do didn't even manage eggs this year as they'd sold out. Oops. Kids are older.

Probably need therapy in later life though.

The people who post on Facebook have all the same insecurities as you so I wouldn't overthink it.

You sound like you're doing great. Don't worry about what other people are doing so much.

Get rid of Facebook seriously...best thing I ever did. And I've been sat in the garden having a few glasses of wine whilst the kids potter about. Honestly social media is complete bullshit. Are the kids happy? If so, you're smashing it.

It sounds like a lovely day OP.

And if it helps I still recall the Easter Sunday’s of my childhood more than 50 - 60 years ago that consisted of visiting the cemetery to place flowers on a relatives grave followed by a picnic where we’d roll our eggs down a hill that was liberally covered in sheep droppings and cow pats. It was the best day ever and I miss it but I still had great fun today with my 70 year old friend when we rolled our eggs down two flights of my stairs instead.

There’s absolutely nothing wrong with low key 💐

I do think that every event is becoming so fixed in what should happen, it's like a ticklist and such a shame. You do you OP, sounds like a lovely day

Dont look at all the show offs on social media. It’s all a pack of lies mostly and I often find people who need to show off their happiness are actually not happy at all. Those who quietly get on with their lives are the most happy and fulfilled.
Kids don’t need all this frippery that seems to be popular at the moment. Giving kids all this ‘stuff’ does not make you a good parent at all!

We had roast beef and Easter egg halves filled with cheese cake. Now everyone is playing among us.

Your weekend sounds ideal.

Comparison is the thief of joy. The point is you are happy with what you have done. I am happy that I did an egg hunt and had decorations. My DD is 4 and she loves it finds it so exciting. My DS 9 just wants the chocolate. Everyone is different and you shouldn't feel bad but its also annoying that others feel they must judge and slag off the people that do to make you feel better.

You sound like a great mum to me!!!

It you’ve seen family then you’re winning as far as I’m concerned... I haven’t seen mine since August as they’re too far away for a day visit.

when the grass on the other side of the fence seems greener, it's usually because it's fertilised with bullshit

Best thing I’ve ever read on the internet!!
And absolutely spot on !

This creeping trend for Easter gifts decorations is so bad from a sustainability point of view.
Why create more traditions involving cheap tat when we all know the planet is on a Code Red for the foreseeable future?

I managed to fuck up a basic treasure hunt. One clue led to a dead end, while another location had two clues. Then at the end of sort of looped back on itself and directed DS to a location he'd already found earlier. Oh, and he found the main 'prize' halfway through (clue fuck up again) and it turned out to be a dog toy, as we discovered when he squeezed it and it squeaked.

Easter tree is a thing now is it. Fuck that! I love Easter as it is one of the celebrations I enjoy as much as anyone else in the family as the level of prep and planning is minimal to the pleasure/effort ratio is way better balanced than Xmas which was ace as a child but now just represents a giant chores list for me. Whereas Easter I love as much as when I was a kid, and all it was then was licence to eat chocolate and appreciate lovely spring changes.
My kids were in a state of excitement for a week before, couldn't wait, couldn't get to sleep so excited... We did less than you have op but they're thrilled with it.
Don't compare your genuine joyful day with those who have advertised their own Very Marvellous day it hides a multitude of unspoken stuff.
Bloody social media skews your view so much, we're hardwired to compare, it's human nature. 🙁

You sound like a great Mum who is having an authentic Easter - enjoy!

Your day sounds great OP!

We have done a basic b*tch display of Easter eggs by the fire place for DDs aged 6 and 3. I have made a boat load of Persian food and we scoffed cheesecake in the garden with DM while DH ran about with the kids.

I have shared a pic of my food with friends who wanted a gander at it (food talk has increased 10 fold over lockdown) and they have shared theirs with me. All very dull to some but just lovely for us.

Ask yourself, besides slagging off your appearance which is completely unnecessary and hugely negative, have YOU enjoyed yourself?

SM is a curse and a waste of energy. So take it with a pinch of salt.

To be honest I do not understand why you feel the need to justify yourself as you have already done lovely things? Since we cannot travel to stay anywhere overnight there is obviously less pressure anyway.
Comparison is the thief of joy remember.

Quit social media!! I deleted my Facebook account and instantly felt a weight lifted.

basic btch display of Easter eggs* @Frokni? I'm intrigued...

Also would love to see a photo of the Persian feast!

@Dozer

‘Making memories’ is bollocks. Or brains don’t remember (or not) to order.

I agree with this. You don’t “make memories”; they happen. You do things and some of those things get remembered. Some pass into family folklore. (It’s never quite the ones you think, either. My kids don’t, for example, remember the meticulously planned trip to the London theatre and a restaurant when they were small. They remember DD2 falling in the loo before it started. That sort of thing....🤣)

Sounds like you have had a lovely day, spent all together in an enjoyable way. Perfect.

Delete social media!

We have no eggs because I couldn’t get my DC any so I got some normal chocolates and we went for a lovely walk with the dogs and now chilling watching films whilst our roast is cooking. It’s quite a normal Sunday for us but usually we feel guilty having a lazy Sunday afternoon but today it feels really good probably because we don’t have work/school tomorrow.

Never compare yourself to anyone else especially to those on SM where it is literally all fake!
My sister posted a pic of her making cakes saying she’s making them with the whole family - her and her DH aren’t speaking and the DCs are up in their rooms and haven’t been down all day because of the tension between their parents which has been going on for a few days.

I almost went up to the woods to cut down some twigs to make a Easter tree and then wondered why on earth I would do something which would require me to spend money on more tat (in this case, some sort of eggs to hang) no one would see or appreciate (the DC might initially see it and comment; DH wouldn't even notice) and I'd then have to put or throw away in a week or so. Basically, all I was going to do was create work for myself to keep up with some people on social media who I don't even know well or like much. So I bought myself some nice flowers instead.
One of our neighbours has got a gorgeous floral wreath made by a local florist and I might order one another year as it would give me a lot of pleasure coming home and seeing it on the front door but it does require me to actually come & go through the front door which I'm not really doing at the moment due to lockdown!

Very simple day here. Boys got up and ate their breakfast in the kitchen so I could hide the eggs.

They found the eggs and ate some.

We cycled to a park, played then came home and ate some cake.

Roast chicken for dinner and a film.

We've always done low key Easter and always will!