Compulsive liars - why do you do it?

[Smokeandashes]

The chat about Walter Mitty types made me think about a guy I was friends with at uni (I use the term loosely!). He would tell the most obvious lies... Like Jay from the Inbetweeners... He got 20 As at GCSE - this was before As had been brought in but they brought him in specially for him because he was so bright. Then they were introduced for the rest of the population a couple of years later. He had been offered a place at Cambridge - all paid for - but turned it down to go to our (shite) uni. He was offered a record deal by P Diddy. 99% of the time we didn't call him out on it because, I think, we were too polite? He had a bit of a mean streak and I never wanted to get on his bad side. I guess it comes from a place of insecurity but I would love to know if anyone on here is a compulsive liar? Did you grow out of it? What's it like to be related to one? I find the whole thing a bit spooky tbh. I think it's different from someone lying about their CV and then being trapped in a web of lies they can't get out of.

@CarolinaWeeper

I lied a lot throughout my childhood and teens, it stopped when I hit my 20s and went to University. Not on the scale of lying about a pregnancy or something like that but I made up a boyfriend when I was about 13, used to shoplift small items once in a while. I honestly don't know why I did it and looking back I am so embarrassed. I have always put it down to being insecure and trying to make myself feel better and also that your brain is not properly formed until you hit your 20s, I was definitely lacking in self awareness. But then not all teenagers lie (I don't think?) So it's interesting to wonder why some (like me) did and others didn't, and why some people don't grow out of it.

That is really interesting you say about the shoplifting! I knew a girl at school, she was in hindsight a bit of a liar and she was also a bit of a kleptomaniac! I knew her from very early childhood and there was always something a bit off with her. Like my uni friend she had a very mean streak. She bullied me quite badly in primary and we were kind of frenemies in secondary. Her dad wasn't around and she lied about him a lot. Said she had half siblings who didn't exist.

[quote MistyAsh]@Smokeandashes yes we have been together since we were both very young. It is impossible to hide the lies from the person you share your life with for very long. They see through it quicker than anyone. I imagine he struggles to trust that I would NEVER lie about X, Y or Z if I'm honest. I have told some big lies to him in the early stages of our relationship. I think it's more he trusts himself to know when I'm lying more than he trusts me. Which is sad.[/quote]
He sounds lovely. It is nice he has worked out a strategy!

My sister in law does this. Similar to what a PP said they're not huge lies, but smaller ones all the time. As a result I don't feel like I know her at all. She just moulds herself to whoever she's talking to. She just agrees with everything I say. And then will do the same with someone else (even if they say something contradictory). Ultimately I think she just lacks self esteem.

I think that this sense of self thing seems to occur a lot. It is kind of sad. I don't lie but I am very shy and non-commital when I am around new people or my colleagues, I would smile and nod to avoid any awkwardness. So I guess lying in this kind of way is just taking it one step further..?