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I just bought these but they piss me off.

172 replies

frogswimming · 29/03/2021 14:45

They are to go over my dd nappy for under skirts. But the name really pisses me off. Why can't they be called 'under skirt shorts'? There's no need to be judging two year olds on their levels of modesty.

OP posts:
NeverDropYourMoonCup · 29/03/2021 18:11

@WreckTangled

I agree, they could just call them shorts. I bought dd some first bras from M&S and they're labelled as 'for comfort and modesty' Hmm there's just no need.
That's probably because they have an incredibly thin lining of foam to prevent the nipples/buds being visible - for some insane reason, that stirred people up into howling that they were padded bras designed to make the children look sexually attractive/was deliberate sexualising of children, instead of actually providing more coverage than a piece of cotton.
nancywhitehead · 29/03/2021 18:12

I agree, it is weird to call them modesty shorts, and I doubt they would use that word in any clothing for boys.

DarkishBlue · 29/03/2021 18:19

Why does a child small enough to wear a nappy need it covering?

I used these pants over nappies. Just for neatness really, and also with my children, made the nappies more secure.

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Diemme · 29/03/2021 18:40

I genuinely don't see the problem with the word modesty. Outdoors on a hot, sunny day, a fair percentage of both adults and children would quite possibly feel most comfortable naked. But in line with our cultural norms they all wear clothes! Clothes have a variety of functions. One of them is modesty.

dworky · 29/03/2021 18:47

I'm more annoyed that they even exist.

whenwillthemadnessend · 29/03/2021 18:52

Why does a two year old need them anyway

Gumandbass · 29/03/2021 18:57

Why did you buy them if you don't support the company branding?

user1471519931 · 29/03/2021 19:18

Wtf - modesty is a fucking overrated virtue!

Jellycatspyjamas · 29/03/2021 19:45

Surely you’d just make sure your child had pants that fit them? I can’t see the need for pants on top of pants, shorts style pants cover everything that needs covered they don’t need an extra layer of pants.

ZaZathecat · 29/03/2021 20:05

If they're for girls to wear over knickers because of doing handstands etc., then 'modesty shorts' is the exact description.

ForwardRanger · 29/03/2021 20:11

@dworky

I'm more annoyed that they even exist.
Why? They're great knickers.
MrMucker · 29/03/2021 20:35

@frogswimming

It's the word 'modesty' I don't like. Girls climbing trees shouldn't have to think about being modest.
fgs the name of the item is not dictating to the wearer how they are supposed to live or taking over their moral compass! How ridiculous Who said you have to eat dinner if you're wearing a dinner jacket? Who said you have to play baseball in a baseball cap? Who said you have to start parlez-vous ing in French knickers? Who said you have to be modest in modesty knickers? Ridiculous. It's just what they're called.
MintyMabel · 29/03/2021 20:38

It's the word 'modesty' I don't like. Girls climbing trees shouldn't have to think about being modest.

That’s not what it means. Nobody wants to flash their arse at anyone when climbing trees either. No different to modesty panels under desks. I can find many things to get worked up about when it comes to messaging but calling these modesty pants isn’t one of them.

EvilOnion · 29/03/2021 20:52

A nappy is basically underpants for a baby.

You can buy normal shorts if you'd rather people didn't see it but tbh I don't see why there's any need.

AngeloMysterioso · 29/03/2021 22:06

There's nothing wrong with the word modest

Except that (in terms of dress and appearance) it is a concept and expectation that is only ever applied to women and girls. You never hear about men or boys having to dress modestly. It is deeply sexist and misogynistic.

and like it or not girls should not be flashing their underwear all over the place.

Then perhaps society should stop expecting girls to wear clothes that are impractical for doing anything remotely active? How come boys get to wear trousers and shorts to school but so often girls are stuck with skirts, tunics and summer dresses?

Hoppythehippo · 29/03/2021 22:42

“You never hear about men or boys having to dress modestly. It is deeply sexist and misogynistic. “

How many boys are flashing their private parts/gussets at people in the playground? Boys clothes generally are just modest. I expect both my children, boy and girl, to cover their genitals and, when she’s old enough to have them, breasts, in public. I also expect them to for the most part keep their pants off show as well. Modesty seems a reasonable word to use for that expectation. It’s nothing to do with sexism, boys leering, pervs in playgrounds etc and more that in our society that’s just what’s expected of everyone - underwear is private. I generally dress my daughter in trousers or shorts accordingly. Sometimes she wants to wear a dress, that’s fine, but in that instance yes, I’d prefer her to be wearing “big pants”/“modesty pants” “shorts style knickers” or whatever.

“Then perhaps society should stop expecting girls to wear clothes that are impractical for doing anything remotely active? How come boys get to wear trousers and shorts to school but so often girls are stuck with skirts, tunics and summer dresses?”

There are five primary schools near me - they all allow girls to wear shorts, skorts, trousers, skirts or pinafore dresses and four allow gingham dresses in summer. By secondary level I don’t think many girls are climbing trees or doing cartwheels anyway, but both secondary schools in the vicinity allow girls to wear trousers. I don’t think there’s any expectation of girls to wear dresses these days, outside of rare occasions - so it would be unusual for a flower girl at a wedding not to wear a dress for example. But in ordinary day to day life my daughter could easily live without dresses at all - except she likes twirling....

BehindMyEyes · 30/03/2021 02:01

[quote FreekStar]@BehindMyEyes So why can't little girl's flash their pants? Why was it ok in the past but not now? Is there anything wrong with little boys seeing little girl's knickers? And is there really a perverted adult in the playground waiting for a flash of a 5 year old vulva? Isn't telling little girls that they need to protect their modesty signalling that they should expect to to perved over, and signalling to boys that girl's have to protect themselves from boys rather than just expecting boys to treat girls with respect no matter how they choose to dress- if a girl want to show her knickers that's up to her and she shouldn't expect boys to treat her differently from girls who are more modest.[/quote]
As I said la la land ...

BehindMyEyes · 30/03/2021 02:04

@IntermittentParps

This is all very well in la la land meanwhile in the real world......

That's so fucking depressing; people are happy to live in a society that tacitly says young girls are considered the objects of sexual interest and that they need to take steps to deflect attention.

No it's realistic and it's sensible . It does not mean that people are happy to live in a society where young girls are the objects of sexual interest - by some . I don't even know how you make that leap . It's the same reasons I wouldn't travel as a woman in certain countries alone - it's called common sense .
Gwegowygwiggs · 30/03/2021 02:14

Oh get a hobby

en0la · 30/03/2021 02:18

@cooldarkroom

Anecdote, in my youth, our school uniform included big thick brown knickers that were to be worn over our normal knickers, every day. It was an all girl school ! :o)
And also worn for PE?
DarkishBlue · 30/03/2021 04:44

You never hear about men or boys having to dress modestly

In hospital when undergoing a procedure which requires being undressed, both men and women are supplied with a modesty gown. And paper modesty pants. It's just what they're called.

DarkishBlue · 30/03/2021 04:46

You can buy normal shorts if you'd rather people didn't see it but tbh I don't see why there's any need

If you've got a bum shuffler it helps keep the nappy in place and unshredded.

jessstan2 · 30/03/2021 05:08

You never hear about men or boys having to dress modestly

Yes you do.

IntermittentParps · 30/03/2021 10:41

it's the same reasons I wouldn't travel as a woman in certain countries alone - it's called common sense .

Yes, just like not walking around late at night on your own, or leaving a drink unattended in the pub. It's not a 'leap'; there is a theme here and it isn't common sense; it's blaming someone (usually female) for the questionable actions of others.

BehindMyEyes · 30/03/2021 11:18

@IntermittentParps

it's the same reasons I wouldn't travel as a woman in certain countries alone - it's called common sense .

Yes, just like not walking around late at night on your own, or leaving a drink unattended in the pub. It's not a 'leap'; there is a theme here and it isn't common sense; it's blaming someone (usually female) for the questionable actions of others.

You can bleat on all you want about this but things will not change . You cannot legislate or nurture against a deviant person There are always going to be murders, rapes , attacks etc . Yes your examples are things I don't do as well because of common sense .
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