School letting me know that ds, 13, doesn’t have a pen.

[Veuvestar]

Oh and he was slow to get in line
Is this the best use of time?
The school has a system of behaviour points
Isn’t this stuff they should just be getting on with, or dealing with.
He lost his pencil case, he borrowed a pen, move along, nothing to see.
Does anyone rises school do this type of thing?

My deleted post I mean.

Where can we go to make complaints about parents 😝

I got called a bully by a parent because I only ever told off her daughter.

I explained, that it would be a far more positive outcome if said parent could help their child adjust their appalling behaviour, rather than if I had to start telling off well behaved children as well.

If a teacher gets in touch, there’s generally good reason, because you’re right, we do have better things to be doing.

Just wish parents who post threads like this would spend one day as an LSA and experience the massive, disruptive chorus of: "Miss! I ain't got no pen!" that wells up as soon as any work is set.

@BalloonSlayer

Just wish parents who post threads like this would spend one day as an LSA and experience the massive, disruptive chorus of: "Miss! I ain't got no pen!" that wells up as soon as any work is set.

There are so many parents I WISH could see their kids at school and what actually goes on.

See, rather than be annoyed with the teacher or school, I would have come home to my DS and said “For the love of God, organise yourself for your class so I don’t have my time taken up, and your teacher doesn’t have their time taken up, calling me about you not having a bloody pen in class. Here are 20 cheap pens. If they write a note or call me again about something so trivial and easily solved by you, there will be hell to pay.”

Simple.

But maybe I’m a cow who expects my children to have some respect for other people’s time and their own education. It’s hardly the teacher who is to blame here.

@MrsTabithaTwitchit you must of gone to different school than me my state comp in london had a uniform and we had to stick to it as we had detention and it was the same for all the other schools in the area

Most teachers lend pens but often the pens are not returned. It slows up the prompt start to a lesson

I did supply, I actually had pens with 'Stolen from Ms x' printed on them, they were bright sparkly too.

I've worked in schools with ridiculous rules with pens such as no pen in the first lesson - break time detention, which means they can't buy a pen from the library.

I've also worked in schools where there is an equipment check at the start of the day.

I used to have this poem in the front of my teaching folder

I woke myself up

Because we ain't got an alarm clock

Dug in the dirty clothes basket,

Cause ain't nobody washed my uniform

Brushed my hair and teeth in the dark,

Cause the lights ain't on

Even got my baby sister ready,

Cause my mama wasn't home.

Got us both to school on time,

To eat us a good breakfast.

Then when I got to class the teacher fussed

Cause I ain't got no pencil.

By Joshua T. Dickerson

@sashh

Most teachers lend pens but often the pens are not returned. It slows up the prompt start to a lesson

I did supply, I actually had pens with 'Stolen from Ms x' printed on them, they were bright sparkly too.

I've worked in schools with ridiculous rules with pens such as no pen in the first lesson - break time detention, which means they can't buy a pen from the library.

I've also worked in schools where there is an equipment check at the start of the day.

I used to have this poem in the front of my teaching folder

I woke myself up

Because we ain't got an alarm clock

Dug in the dirty clothes basket,

Cause ain't nobody washed my uniform

Brushed my hair and teeth in the dark,

Cause the lights ain't on

Even got my baby sister ready,

Cause my mama wasn't home.

Got us both to school on time,

To eat us a good breakfast.

Then when I got to class the teacher fussed

Cause I ain't got no pencil.

By Joshua T. Dickerson

Sad poem that all teachers have seen, some have lived and some are helping those kids through.

We provide our kids with a pencil case full of equipment at the start of each term since covid (and always have for exams).

Parents are still fairly awful to us. If you’ve never worked in a classroom, you simply haven’t got a clue what teachers/ TAs and all school staff have to contend with.

There will be another mass exodus from teaching and education come sept/ Jan.

@Parkperson - “No penis today” - hilarious!! Thank you for the laugh 😂

I am a secondary teacher and the kids who gormlessly turn up without a pen waste everyone’s time. No wonder they have zero initiative when parents take a line like the OP.

Major late drip feed about adhd etc. Why bother writing a thread and not telling posters this essential bit of info?

I got a phone call once from a parent complaining about an equipment letter. I explained about the amount of time wasted by students not having the right equipment. They said yes, but surely your time is precious and you have better things to do with it than getting in touch with parents, thinking they had planted a gotcha. I answered “Well yes, really, I do.” There was a moment or twos silence and then the man said “Okay, I suppose I’ll be going now then.”

Oblomov- because it wasnt about his special needs. Anyone can leave their pen in their locker.

But it is in fact about his special needs. This child takes every ounce of my energy. To get him motivated, to get him up, clean, dressed, washed, homeworked and prepared for his day. It’s a constant battle. This child has gone from being a scholarship student to refusing to go to school.

And ultimately I don’t think the school is going to understand him, so I worry for his future. The disruption a new school would cause, I worry about his education and his independence and how he is going to make it through life.
So stupidly, mistakenly, I started a thread about a pen, but I guess it’s not really about a pen.

@Oblomov21

Major late drip feed about adhd etc. Why bother writing a thread and not telling posters this essential bit of info?

???

She did within 30min of opening the thread. I saw it fine.

The problem is that schools have become far to big , teachers pupils and parents are just cogs in an enormous machine . Sometimes One size doesn’t not fit all.

This child has gone from being a scholarship student to refusing to go to school.

Well there are clearly way more serious issues here than your DS getting a behaviour point for not having a pen. I think you'd need to start a new thread to get support with it though because any discussion on here would be punctuated by responses of 'FFS get your kid a pen'.

I would suggest starting your new thread in Secondary Education or Teenagers rather than Chat, there are many others in the same boat.

Can you get him one of those small pens to clip into his pocket that no one will see or does his blazer have an inside pocket?

You feel like you’re chasing your tail with them at this age. He’s old enough that he thinks he’s soooo responsible but you keep having to chase them with mundane every day things.

Give him a reminder when he gets home and tell him if it happens again he’s going to have a full stationary set sewn into his pockets 😂

Why wouldn't they let him nip back to his locker and get it? Seems like the school made a mountain out of a mole hill to me. Didnt realise teachers had so much spare time to phone parents about trivial things like leaving a pen for ONE class

I image they don't want pupils disappearing off to lockers in lessons - potentailly disappearing or disrupting theirs or others lessons.

My Dc school has said no lockers this year - as covid rules meake them really hard to police and they really don't want the children wandering around at all. OP school seem to have gone the other way having bags in lockers - which is going to cause issue for many children slightly less organised.

noblegiraffe sugegstion of another thread about how to get the school on board with support and ways to managed or put in scaffolding to help a teen is a good one.

The thing is children not having pens and whatever else is a nuisance at the start of lessons. You can get classes where half of them do have pens and are borrowing at the start of lessons. Loud "Does anyone have a pen?" and "Well I can't do my work then" are phrases I remember well from when I was teaching. So not having pens is a big bugbear and schools will put systems in place to try and stop it.

I would concentrate on the getting the support your son needs in school and let one this go.

@Iwantacookie

Why wouldn't they let him nip back to his locker and get it? Seems like the school made a mountain out of a mole hill to me. Didnt realise teachers had so much spare time to phone parents about trivial things like leaving a pen for ONE class

Most secondary schools are sufficiently large that "nipping back to his locker" and then returning to class could take 7 or 8 minutes. 10 minutes if the classroom is at the "wrong" side of school. That's a big chunk out of a lesson, not to mention the disruption of a child going in and out. And it would inevitably not just be one child.

@Veuvestar

Oblomov- because it wasnt about his special needs. Anyone can leave their pen in their locker.

But it is in fact about his special needs. This child takes every ounce of my energy. To get him motivated, to get him up, clean, dressed, washed, homeworked and prepared for his day. It’s a constant battle. This child has gone from being a scholarship student to refusing to go to school.

And ultimately I don’t think the school is going to understand him, so I worry for his future. The disruption a new school would cause, I worry about his education and his independence and how he is going to make it through life.
So stupidly, mistakenly, I started a thread about a pen, but I guess it’s not really about a pen.

You need to advocate for him. Has he been assessed by an educational psychologist or an occupational therapist?

He needs to be assessed then have the recommendations drawn up as an IEP. He has a right to have learning support for any disabilities.

This may feel like a huge deal but I can assure you that an estimated 20 percent of students have additional needs, many of whom are undiagnosed.

It'll help you understand him and go to bat for him, you can both learn new strategies and yes, he can have a bright future. Neither of you need to feel bad about him being himself, he is unique and no doubt has very many special qualities. He just needs a few small accommodations to better manage in what is a very ableist world.

You're annoyed that the school took up a few minutes of your time because your child can't get organised enough to take a pen into lessons and yet have the time to whine about it over nine pages of Mumsnet.

Priorities?

@BiggerBoat1

You're annoyed that the school took up a few minutes of your time because your child can't get organised enough to take a pen into lessons and yet have the time to whine about it over nine pages of Mumsnet.

Priorities?

You didn't read the thread did you