School letting me know that ds, 13, doesn’t have a pen.

[Veuvestar]

Oh and he was slow to get in line
Is this the best use of time?
The school has a system of behaviour points
Isn’t this stuff they should just be getting on with, or dealing with.
He lost his pencil case, he borrowed a pen, move along, nothing to see.
Does anyone rises school do this type of thing?

Ffsffsffs-
Are you saying I’m lying about the bags in lockers?
I’m not
It makes no sense to me at all, at any time, but that’s what they do.
FYI- I realised on the Saturday that we couldn’t find his pencil case, ordered him one that came on Monday, so he was without a real pencil case for one day. But had the ziplock bag with everything else.
And I’m not going out to trawl the high street for a specific pencil case that fits in his blazer.

The points are sent out weekly, but they are a week behind, so I got the notification on Friday.

I haven’t been sending him in with a ziplock bag every day. Ffs read the thread

@Veuvestar I did read the thread -

He had a pencil case
He lost it
He doesn’t actually lose things that often, but we couldn’t find it when he was going back after 3 months.
No other pencil case that we had in the house would do, either because it wouldn’t fit in his blazer pocket or it was too babyish.
So he went in with pens and pencils in a clear ziplock bag.
While I ordered a new pencil case

You wrote yourself that you couldn't find it after 3 months. Not that it was lost on Saturday - by which time he's been back at least a week, to all intents and purposes using the ziploc bag.

I still don't believe the school would rather send out their entire student body to their lockers between lessons to collect equipment, and congregate unnecessarily on corridors, for up to 10 minutes a time, rather than have them keep their bags with them. For this I would be questioning their risk assessment, which should be available for anyone to read.

Lack of equipment is disruptive to lessons and some children are well practised in deploying it as a strategy. The palaver that ensues as they ask all their friends to lend them a pen/whatever, the effusive gratitude when a replacement is forthcoming and the faux-modest denials of generosity are tedious and time consuming. Also it’s not fair on those who do arrive properly equipped, or on their parents, who shouldn’t have to subsidise the learning of others. Consequently I would not allow borrowing of equipment in lessons. If a student had no pen, they had to make do with one of my cheapo pencils (cheap because bought by me). But I wouldn’t contact parents until the third or fourth time it happened (if it did), because I had many better things to do.

I always carry two pens, just in case. There's a life lesson right there!

What?
He’d been off school for 3 months
When we were organising his bag for school we realised his pencil case was missing- last seen 3 months previously.
So I ordered a new one

I give up

I’ll talk to the school if he gets any more on Friday.
In the meantime I will continue to ensure his bag is packed correctly

One pen shoved in a pocket is not equipped for school. But him a pencil case. Stock it with several pens and all the other stuff he'll need. It's incredibly disruptive to have kids without the stuff they need, calling out to friends to borrow stuff, wandering across the room. Not to mention they shouldn't be sharing anyway with COVID. School staff don't have endless time. Do your bit and sort him out. He's your responsibility

@hedgehogger1 did you read the thread, his pencil case was missing for one day , his mother helped him to put things into a ziplock bag for the one day that he did not have it . He forgot on one day . He has processing difficulties and SPLD , what is the world coming to when thus minor incident is worthy of an email home from school

OP I get it.

I have ADHD. I love stationery too. I must have a million thousand pens in my house. I can never find one, or at least not of the correct type that is also working.

The best solution would be to keep a pen (or several) in every place where he needs to use it ie in each classroom - I am guessing that this is not allowed, though.

So I would go for on his person - use the pencil case as you have been doing, but also give him some loose pens that he can keep in a blazer pocket. Tricky if they need to use fountain pens as these can leak, but Berol handwriting pens are usually an acceptable alternative if biros aren't allowed - these are less breakable? You can buy mass bulk boxes online or from educational stationery suppliers.

I would also see if he can make a bit of a deal with a friend where he borrows a pen if he doesn't have one or they look after a stash of spare pens for him, which might end up with you replacing the friend's pens as and when he loses them.

In my school no pen generates a behaviour point. I tick the no pen box, parents are notified, move on. We are told to do it each and every time they don’t have their equipment. It doesn’t matter if it’s the first time because if you don’t do it every time then by the time it’s a pattern of behaviour either the parents moan you haven’t told them before or you miss that it’s a pattern of behaviour because they have 16 different teachers a week.

It’s one behaviour point, you’re making a big deal about something and nothing.

And to the PP who said that education was not as good in the 1970s and 80s well I think that is a moot point.

We were taught to take responsibility for ourselves , to take initiative, original thought was celebratedand no one really worried about whether you were wearing the right shoes, as long as you had shoes that was ok, we were not taught to the test or the mark scheme , yes we practiced but as long as you wrote a good essay well researched and backed up that was fine . It wasn’t all about using the right buzz words to get the marks it was about actually educating people. It wasn’t about following numerous nonsensical petty rules . We didn’t walk around worrying about every minor infraction or get barked at for being a bit ‘different ‘.

Oh yes we use all the right words about inclusion but yet we don’t care if someone is uncomfortable because it’s more important that they wear the correct branded uniform than that they are accepted for being different . We have ‘support’ but yet we still punish pupils for needing to change their tampon or being unable to remember all their kit for numerous lessons because they have a disability that makes remembering numerous things extra hard , or simply wearing a coat because it’s raining in the case of some schools

We had the pencil case drama once

Ds took a pencil case fully equipped. Checked every Sunday night together as he's autistic and very poor organisation.

Ds is an extremely kind hearted young man and also cannot stand up for himself. I thought he was losing pens but turned out he was lending them and peers refusing to return them at end of lesson.

I talked to him about this and tried to get him to say he didn't have spares etc. He tried but the kids would just take them.

We looked and found some lovely non removable stickers and for his initials on some and labelled it all. (This was after a day a teacher rang to say ds pen broke and he should have had spares and I explained he did but kids wouldn't return them - teacher said I had no proof - despite all pens being identical to the one he broke 🤦🏼‍♀️🤷‍♀️).

All sorted and ds kept 2 in pencil case and rest in locker.

Cue next week when I get a shitty email from same teacher that ds refused to share his pens and he wasn't helping his peers and needs to learn

My email was very polite in response suggesting she challenged the kids for not bringing theirs and if she'd supported ds getting his stuff back previously he may have happily upheld the schools values (her complaint was it was against them refusing to help his peers when he has spares) and I'd expect it was the last of hear from her unless it was ds himself who was disorganised and I'd assume she'd be suggesting other parents dealt with their children!

I have no idea what her issue was but she just didn't like ds and found fault in everything he did. Best day ever on results day when he collected her subject result (she'd told him he'd fail because he had poor social skills) and he got 2 9's

I'm all for rules and expectations but when he could have gone to locker to get them or they should be making reasonable adjustments due to send and just don't I have zero patience. I'll support a school 100% but only when reciprocated.

You would have been reasonable if a teacher had phoned you for one incident.

The teacher didn't. The teacher did their job and logged a behaviour point against your kid. You got an email.

How inconvenient for you.

Yeah they probably agree with you and don't feel this is something they want to spend time chasing up. It's almost as if the kid should have a pen and not be late.

Slow to get in line = held the entire class and teacher up

My DS’ school were really strict, if they didn’t have an item of equipment, detention, uniform infringement, detention. late for PE, impossible not be if the teacher in Upper wouldn’t let the lesson early to walk to the lower site, detention. Unable to remove blazer, unless teacher gave permission, even in a heat wave. My too have left education now, thank goodness,,petty rules serve no purpose.

That’s nice thisgirl

10% of pupils forget a pen.

30 pupils per class, 5 lessons a day and I hand out 15 pens that I can’t have back because of COVID or because the pupil will have the same issue in their next lesson - disrupting that lesson too.

Who pays for 15 pens a day - that don’t get looked after incidentally...I see them being swept up at the end of the day by the cleaners.

The time it takes to find one, give it out (and the point in the lesson said penless student asks for one) is incredibly disruptive.

You can tell people who think disorganised children are just ok have no idea what life in school is like...for what it’s worth these ‘minor’ annoyances take time and effort to deal with and it’s not ok.

The kid has all sorts of disabilities making tasks that may seem simple to the neurotypical very challenging for him. All this child and parent shaming is just unpleasant.

OP I think your son needs some sort of accommadation for his specific needs, maybe he should be allowed to take his bag to class? Just as a child in a wheelchair cannot run with the other kids, a child with dyspraxia cannot be expected to be as agile and organised as the neurotypical.

MiddleParking
I'd agree with you on the attitude front. What I would say is that those with the negative attitude are the minority in my experience.
What bothers me is that some people would be quick to decide a teacher following their school's behaviour policy (like I did in my second example) hates children, was petty, is making a fuss out of nothing, rather than step back and consider the wider context.

I have no pens left at school because at the moment we aren’t allowed to take them back from kids at the moment. If a kid doesn’t have a pen it is school policy at the moment to contact home - usually an email because it’s quicker.

You also mentioned he was slow to get in line. For me to contact a parent it is inconvenient, I have to do it after school and I have to fill in cpoms documenting our conversation. I only do it when it is necessary, I imagine it is the same for all teachers. I have rung home about kids not lining up properly before, because it usually means I’ve asked them to get lined up properly 4 or 5 times and they haven’t done it. I give them instructions in the line to get the lessons started off well, it sounds like your son delayed this.

Last week I had a parent make a complaint about me. Her DS had a cough, and coughed directly in my face whilst I was sitting helping him with his work. I asked him not to cough without covering his mouth and sent him to wash his hands.
Apparently it wasn’t my place to speak to him and it upset him. It was a really quiet conversation, not a shout across a classroom. He’s 10, and should know better!

This ought read "deleted as quotes prev deleted message" imo.

@Soontobe60

Last week I had a parent make a complaint about me. Her DS had a cough, and coughed directly in my face whilst I was sitting helping him with his work. I asked him not to cough without covering his mouth and sent him to wash his hands. Apparently it wasn’t my place to speak to him and it upset him. It was a really quiet conversation, not a shout across a classroom. He’s 10, and should know better!

How dare you tell anyone’s child anything 😩 so frustrating.