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Original poster

School letting me know that ds, 13, doesn’t have a pen.

243 replies

Veuvestar · 23/03/2021 12:17

Oh and he was slow to get in line
Is this the best use of time? Confused
The school has a system of behaviour points
Isn’t this stuff they should just be getting on with, or dealing with.
He lost his pencil case, he borrowed a pen, move along, nothing to see.
Does anyone rises school do this type of thing?

OP posts:
Original poster
Veuvestar · 23/03/2021 13:03

He does usually have the pencil case in his blazer pocket

OP posts:
diddl · 23/03/2021 13:07

Perhaps it's happened a few times?

It is unfortunate that he had a pencil case of sorts with him & left it in the locker.

Ours was the other way-you took your bag with everything for the lessons until the next break, so most likely would always have pencil case that was always used with.

Odd (imo) to carry loose books around!

Squashbanana125 · 23/03/2021 13:10

Yes I’m totally with you.
I am not able to take calls at work but get several calls voice messages , ds looked behind in class which isn’t school policy in lesson, dd sneezed too much. Well yes she has hay fever.
I don’t have an issue with them telling them off or punishing them, but they don’t need to update me every time something trivial happens.

Dd recently had her period and needed to go toilet urgently in class, and wasn’t allowed as “you have just had lunch”. The male teacher said no she put up hand to explain and was sent to isolation for making a fuss.
I have no issue with school rules and policies but understand parents have jobs and can’t take calls for minor issues. Just deal with it at school

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MrMucker · 23/03/2021 13:10

@Veuvestar

He had a pencil case He lost it He doesn’t actually lose things that often, but we couldn’t find it when he was going back after 3 months. No other pencil case that we had in the house would do, either because it wouldn’t fit in his blazer pocket or it was too babyish. So he went in with pens and pencils in a clear ziplock bag. While I ordered a new pencil case They have a system where they leave their bag in their locker and take just what they need for the lesson. He somehow left his ziplock bag in his locker. He has a lot of processing issues, dyslexia and probably adhd, all of which the school know about. I get that the kids need to be organised and I understand the knock on disruption, but the school doesn’t seem to know how to pick their battles. A bit of a kerfuffle in a lineup or a lost pen isn’t a big deal to me.
It ought to be a big deal to you. Not having a pen slows him down in his own learning. It costs teacher time. And therefore the other children...ALL of them...lose learning time. It can cost money. And it needs more work to track in order to get the pen back if they lend one. None of that is a big deal to you? And the school raising it with you constitutes a "battle". Yeah, sure it does, because you really don't care about the basics. Sort him out with a pen.
theheartofthematter · 23/03/2021 13:11

No wonder he is continually doing it (which is obvious as the school wouldn't bother to contact you for a one off) if his mother has every excuse under the sun why her precious baby can't possibly follow the rules like the rest of the children in the school are. Tell him to do what is expected, then you won't get contacted. Simple

User135792468 · 23/03/2021 13:12

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Original poster
Veuvestar · 23/03/2021 13:13

It’s a pen
It’s one lesson, one time
Jesus Mucker!

OP posts:
B33Fr33 · 23/03/2021 13:13

YABU. You know full well that the school has to check on the welfare of its students. So many parents will answer in the "what can you do? I have him a pen' then one will admit the family is waiting on money, he's lost his last one, if they don't follow up on students some parents don't bother either as there is a solid cohort of parents who believe education "should" be free. They're reluctant to buy basic equipment. The school CAN provide for those in genuine need but they don't have to fund the parents who are neglectful out of choice.

Original poster
Veuvestar · 23/03/2021 13:13

Is nobody reading what I have written?

OP posts:
Moondust001 · 23/03/2021 13:16

@Veuvestar

Oh and he was slow to get in line Is this the best use of time? Confused The school has a system of behaviour points Isn’t this stuff they should just be getting on with, or dealing with. He lost his pencil case, he borrowed a pen, move along, nothing to see. Does anyone rises school do this type of thing?
He should take more care of his possessions. He should not dawdle and should be well behaved in school. Is it a good use of teachers time dealing with things you should have taught him? Is it a good use of your time starting a thread about this instead of teaching him how to behave? Move along, nothing to see.
User135792468 · 23/03/2021 13:16

Yes, I have read the excuses you have written. As I said, a school wouldn’t contact you the first time your child forgot a pen. The fact that you think they would is quite laughable.

Original poster
Veuvestar · 23/03/2021 13:17

My child is far from unpleasant and entitled and that’s a very nasty thing to say

OP posts:
Moondust001 · 23/03/2021 13:18

@Veuvestar

Is nobody reading what I have written?
Yes, we are. We just don't agree with you. You remember that from school days - or weren't you listening at the time?
tenlittlecygnets · 23/03/2021 13:18

Why don't you ensure your son has a pencil case then? If every dc was this disorganised, no teaching would ever get done. Unfair on dc who are organised.

FTEngineerM · 23/03/2021 13:20

I don’t buy that as a teenager he lost it/forgot it. I bet he doesn’t lose or forget his phone..

BlackeyedSusan · 23/03/2021 13:20

You know that some kids have disabilities that make this a bloody nightmare.

saraclara · 23/03/2021 13:21

OP has said over and over that this is the first time it's happened, and in a situation which she had absolutely no control over. Why such vicious responses?

I do think you don't quite understand that a lining up kerfuffle is more of a pain than you think though, OP. As an ex-teacher I can tell you that line ups after a break are particularly difficult to manage and what might seem minor to a parent is often the source of much bigger problems. For me, the pen would be the minor thing.

User135792468 · 23/03/2021 13:22

If I’m honest, I think your attitude to the school is what is unpleasant.

In your place I would reply

“Dear X,

Thank you for letting me know. I’ll double check with Y tonight to make sure he has all of the equipment he needs as, as far as I’m aware, he has a full pencil case. If it was left in his locker, I’ll remind him to make sure he takes it to every lesson. I’ll also remind him of expectations when lining up. If the issue persists, please let know.

Regards,
....”

BogRollBOGOF · 23/03/2021 13:23

@Veuvestar

He had a pencil case He lost it He doesn’t actually lose things that often, but we couldn’t find it when he was going back after 3 months. No other pencil case that we had in the house would do, either because it wouldn’t fit in his blazer pocket or it was too babyish. So he went in with pens and pencils in a clear ziplock bag. While I ordered a new pencil case They have a system where they leave their bag in their locker and take just what they need for the lesson. He somehow left his ziplock bag in his locker. He has a lot of processing issues, dyslexia and probably adhd, all of which the school know about. I get that the kids need to be organised and I understand the knock on disruption, but the school doesn’t seem to know how to pick their battles. A bit of a kerfuffle in a lineup or a lost pen isn’t a big deal to me.
The processing issues are relevant here.

While generally no pen is an infuriating time-waster for teachers (and often a personal expense that adds up. The supermarket staff were bemused at the volume of basic stationery in my food shop every week, and it was that or have the disruption of pupils unable to work) there is a difference when SENs affect organisational skills.

I had a pupil with SpLDs Fri p5 and the first week he had no pen. Knowing from previous years teaching him earlier in the day, that organisation was a struggle, I bought a decent pen that lived clipped onto his book, kept in my classroom (with the other books) He looked so thrilled about it and managed to keep it all year.

The systems need to work for pupils with specific difficulties and routinely penalising them as though they're being careless doesn't achieve anything productive.

SpiderinaWingMirror · 23/03/2021 13:23

Mm. I can see both sides sort of.
My youngest is a secondary school. I had a complaint that her skirt was too short. It's the longest one they do and they come from one supplier chosen by the school. She is 13 and 5'6" so hardly a giant. Perplexed about what they thought the answer was.
"Buy a bigger size and have it altered"
But the bigger size are the same length........

Original poster
Veuvestar · 23/03/2021 13:24

I ensure my child is properly supplied with equipment at the beginning of every day
All the right books, all the right pe kit, all the right stationery, all the right homework.
I do not have any control over him leaving it in his locker
Sorry, nope, can’t do that

OP posts:
jessstan2 · 23/03/2021 13:25

I'm surprised they have time to contact you regarding a missing pen. Mine was forever losing things. Surely a teacher would have a couple of biros in her desk to lend for a day? Ridiculous.

AChickenCalledDaal · 23/03/2021 13:29

@FTEngineerM

I don’t buy that as a teenager he lost it/forgot it. I bet he doesn’t lose or forget his phone..
Why ever not? My 15yo regularly loses all sorts of things that she knows are vitally important, including her phone. We do our best to help her be organised but it's bloody hard work. She's just been diagnosed with ADD which is some sort of explanation but not any kind of solution.

I wouldn't mind at all if her school tipped me off about lack of equipment, though. She doesn't always admit when things have got lost.

Geamhradh · 23/03/2021 13:32

If the school is aware that there may be additional needs, then possibly they keep you informed about these minor (to you) issues so you can help him not have these problems.
Or, what to you is not important (pens) or a "kerfuffle" is a PITA to both the teacher and the other students.
Speak to the school.

BingBongToTheMoon · 23/03/2021 13:33

No, obviously you can’t control his forgetfulness in school.
The school won’t be saying that....HOWEVER he can! He can put two pens in his blazer/trousers/ shirt pockets, can’t he?
You need to remind him to do that (seen as how he obviously can’t remind himself!)
The lining up thing......well, he simply needs to be smarter at doing that too.
Neither you nor school ABU here. Your son however, is.