For those who waited to have children.. do you regret it?

[Threeelephantssingingasong]

The word waiting is subjective but I guess I'm wondering for those who waited to have children I.e before their peers and/or made other priorities e.g buying a house, getting married first whether they regret their decision?

In the current climate, I know many women (including myself) are waiting to have children and the average age for a first time mum in the UK is now 30, I imagine down to a plethora of reasons, including but not limited to.. not finding the right partner, waiting for marriage, financial reasons, difficulty conceiving etc

If that was you, I am wondering how things worked out? Did you regret it or do you feel that it was worthwhile? (The same question applies to those where the decision was taken out of the equation.. minus the regret element of the question!) If not too personal, what was your age when you conceived and what were your reasons to delay? If you could go back in time would you change anything?

As I am asking you, its only fair I also answer. I am 31 at the end of the year and myself and DP would like to get married, have a once in a life time holiday and purchase our first house.. we hope to TTC in 2023 which would make me 33! Its a decision that is not being taken lightly but we want to ensure we secure before starting a family. I am not sure whether at the age of 33 this would be classed as an old first time mum? Probably not? But to me, it's still a wait compared to my peers who are predominantly pregnant/ with young children!

Any wisdom from those who have advice would be also greatly welcomed!

I had my children in my early twenties. We had already been married four years. I went to uni in my thirties when they were both at school. It was definitely right for us. I sometimes wish we’d done a bit more before we started our family but we’ve been able to do a lot of things once they grew up.

Hi, I got married at 32 and went on to have two confirmed miscarriages before having my first child at 36 and my second at 38. I had always wanted 3 children but had decided if it didn’t happen before the age of 40 I would enjoy the 2 that I had. I had a suspected miscarriage at 39 land then surprisingly my third child was born at 42. I had a difficult pregnancy this time, with excess amniotic fluid and some worrying scans along the way. All my actual births were normal deliveries, no CS or episiotomy etc required and I coped physically so age didn’t affect me in that regard. My third child spent some time in SCBU and has had some medical issues that required emergency treatment on and off before he started school. He is on the autistic spectrum and has problems with short tendons in his hands and legs which require surgery and physio to correct as he grows. Hopefully once he stops growing, he won’t need further surgery. 🤞My point is that we don’t know what the future holds and there may never be a perfect time to have a child if you aren’t ready then wait but if you have a “surprise” you will adapt, cope and love them anyway.

For the most part, no - I had DD1 when I was 34 and expecting DD2 in July when I'll be 39. From 28-32 I had a lot of job uncertainty, both DH and I were on short term contracts and our income was unstable. We waited until we were in permanent jobs before TTC, and that was definitely the right decision for us. I'm now in a position where I can set my own hours, and have flexibility and seniority, which takes away some of the stress of being a working parent.

That said, we've been lucky to conceive easily both times, and we're in London so the average age of a FTM is higher. I do regret not living closer to extended family at times, but paying for childcare is not a struggle, and I like the life we have.