what assumptions would you make about a family with four to six children?

[ChelseeDagger]

Not wanting to start a bun fight or being goady in the slightest. Just looking for honest opinions, whether they be positive, negative or neutral.

@springisintheair2021

Yes! Even as a mum of five I can understand your POV.
As an only child, I always think that its sad when I see one child families; exactly as you describe I wonder to myself 'why have you denied your child a sibling relationship?' and I know that this is none of my business and that it may be due to any number of myriad issues.
Irrespective of this, I do think its quite normal to allow our views of other families to be clouded by our own formative experiences.
Human nature isn't always particularly even handed in its approach to other people.

Not wealthy, but not poor. All four DC were planned. No desire to have any more. Very involved as parents with each child and their needs. Love a full dining table at dinner. I enjoy reading aloud to them when they are small. It's usually a divide and conquer scenario at bedtime.

We are fortunate to have the time, space and money to raise four DC, I realise it isn't possible for everyone. I think you need to be quite relaxed around housework not always being a priority. I love being in the home, checking school work is done. Most meals get made from scratch. Fortunately, don't need to go back to work in a hurry.

I know a local family with 8DC. Eldest 16, youngest 1.

Honestly, I'd wonder if the parents had any interests/hobbies/aspirations besides child rearing. With that many, it surely takes over your entire life?

Probably that the parents are fairly resilient and like a bit of chaos, and that it must be quite noisy.

Growing up the families that had lots of kids had fun and generally quite happy homes and some of the small families children were lonelier; it seemed fun to have lots of siblings.

I don’t think you can make all that many assumptions though. People have big families for all sorts of reasons.

Religious, very wealthy or very poor

^ This

I wouldn't assume anything about them.

Apart from assuming that they don't make assumptions about me for only having one.

@blowinahoolie

I'm with you on the housework.

I shall never have one of those homes where you can't tell that children live there because it is so pristine.

They need a big car!

Religious, very wealthy or very poor.

And also this.

springisintheair think it depends on the age gaps too. I had two sets of children. 13 and 10, 5 and 3. The older two very occasionally get asked to help, but mostly parents do all the care. All are special, not just DC1 or 2. But I understand what you mean.

I would think they probably have quite easy pregnancies and births.

Once there are more than 3 I tend to assume blended families e.g. both had a child young then remarried. Thats because most people I know don't have many children if at all.

If 4 all from the same parents, I think either very wealthy with one SAHP, big American style house like an old 90s sitcom very jealous or I think council house, lack of contraception and loves kids despite not being able to afford them all. Just has them all anyway.

Once the number surpasses 4, I think they must be very religious. I dont know why 4 is the magic number. I think because even very wealthy people can't really have enough bedrooms and time for more than 4 kids.

Agree. Mind you, I know one family who have 4 kids: they agonised over whether or not to try for number 3....who turned out to be twins!

Yeah I know a family of three like that. She wanted a second, he didn't, she won, ended up being twins so now they have three. You can guess how happy he is...

Zed housework just isn't top of my priority list. The house will still be standing when we are dead and gone 🤷 as long as everyone is cared for and loved, that's really all that matters.

I am one of 5 and my sister has 5 so I wouldn't really think anything other than admiring their resilience. I have 3 and am permanently knackered.
My sister's five are funny as they all have different colourings from red head to brunette, and a lot of people don't even think they are related. All to the same father.

I'd think, fuck they must be mad.

@Ylvamoon

Religious, very wealthy or very poor

^ This

Yep - either they can afford to give them everything or they can't afford anything for any of them so it's a bit like wtf 🤷‍♀️

That they are either wealthy or crazy

Nothing at all solely based on the number of kids they have.

More kids than sense, rough and tumble, possibly drugs involved.

But that’s extremely stereotypical and based solely on the only large family I know (that have 5 kids, lots of drugs involved and have the police at their door once a week nevause one of the kids has been chucking stone at cars/pensioners/chucked a brick at the care home windows again or the father is drunk, loud and violent again.

My experiences may be skewed due to my line of work but I’ve found that in very large families eg. 6 plus children there is usually an abusive father who has controlled the mother by keeping her pregnant. The children are often very close in age because of this. The mother has already had bad experiences in life and is vulnerable just wants to love/ be loved. The father always either fucks off or lands himself in jail due to abuse, leaving the mother quite literally holding the babies.

I’m sure this isn’t he case for all large families but it’s awful that men do this to women.

That they must have barely any sleep and never have a moment to themselves..honestly sounds horrific to me but people do have that many and more!

Brave. They started their family at a young age. What car do they drive. How on earth do they go on holiday. Garrrd that food bill.

Five/Six I’d assume there’s parental or paid help.

I wouldn't make any.

I would assume that they have a strong support network. I am parenting after a childhood of abuse and an adulthood of NC and fractured family relationships all round. I absolutely couldn't cope with more than one DC due to that.