what assumptions would you make about a family with four to six children?

[ChelseeDagger]

Not wanting to start a bun fight or being goady in the slightest. Just looking for honest opinions, whether they be positive, negative or neutral.

Exactly the same as everyone else as long as the kids are well looked after then I don't care.

I do know one woman who could not afford a third child but had one then a fourth and fifth, the kids never have decent clothes everything is ill fitting and clearly worn out they never get treats and buy the cheapest of everything, the older girls now feel it's so unfair they can't go to the cinema swimming etc with friends, or buy the nice clothes other teens have because they have no money. They are all squeezed in a 3 bed single bathroom ex council house they can't afford to move from. That annoys me she sacrificed a comfortable upbringing because she liked being pregnant and having a little baby. But that judgement is based on her having children she knew she would struggle to provide for not how many she has.

I wouldn't initially think anything.

Then as above - religious or well off (like the person on 75k plus above) or on low income (lots in an area near me with mulitples on low income/council housing). I know more in this last category than the others.

I would wonder (in a kind way) if they were managing okay - I'm sure many are but its an added stress isn't it. I know many parents with just a couple who find life difficult (especially if added economic/environmental pressures.)

Would also if pushed wonder if it was "liking babies" and the older ones were relied on to parent the younger ones etc.

In their presence? Nothing but kindness.

That they either get a lot of help from family or they must be superhuman and exhausted.

All these comments about being wealthy!!! Should’ve seen what I seen growing up, sadly the only families with that many kids I know are piss poor and couldn’t give a shit what sort of lives the kids have.

Interesting observations.

I have 6 children, due to religious reasons, but after a tumultuous past few years, am no longer religious and have divorced their father. I work in a position that allows me to work from home (before pandemic) and so my ability to earn hasn't been affected.

The dc coped well over lockdown, with each other. That was an unexpected benefit!

They are of various ages, and the older ones do help out from time to time, but it's a rarity. They all have chores, they have enough food, a big enough home, and enjoy extra curricular activities in normal times. I would say they are pretty well adjusted overall, and anything they struggle with isn't exacerbated by having more than the average number of siblings, but by external forces that we couldn't control.

Judgements don't bother me, because I can't exactly unmake the decision to have six children, so I just move forward and do the best I can for them. Just like any other parent.

That they love having kids and have more patience than I do?

I love the idea of having more children - I always wanted a big family when I was younger - but I find the mess and noise hard enough with two. And I just don't seem able to divide attention fairly, someone always seems to need me/ is crying while I help the other. Respect to people who can do it!

If I see someone with 3+ kids I think “how the hell do they do it” because I have a 6 month old my Jesus Christ I find this difficult and my baby is relatively easy!

WhT would i assume?
Nothing really.
I know loads of families this size.
🤷‍♀️

DH is 1 of 4. His mum is religious but equally most of her friends have 2/3 as they are on the 'liberal end' of orthodox judaism. So i don't think thats the only reason.

I’d think they were religious and didn't believe in contraception & didn’t understand the huge problems we have with over population and climate change (negative basically).

@Tatum1234

I have four of the same sex. Everyone assumes I was trying to have the opposite each time.

I have one of each so I've had comments about how I must be finished now. Like they're collectibles and I've completed the set. It's such an odd attitude isn't it!

@pollylocketpickedapocket yes I see more families that would fall under that category than any other so that would influence my view a tad negatively unfortunately!

@Crimeismymiddlename I was one of six and it was lovely. My mum was amazing and we all felt loved and knew she was there if we needed her. We even all had stories read to us before bed every single night without fail until we were about 10.
I've got 2 and don't know how she did it, she was very hands on and loved spending time with us. She literally never stopped. She still works with kids now so I think genuinely enjoying children helps. I think a lot of the assumptions on this thread are wrong for most large families.
I'm still close with all my siblings now and our children are growing up together. I'm immensely grateful to have had the privilege of a large family.

I do know someone that has lots of children. Not well enough to enquire what the motivation is beyond liking babies, so I assume she just likes babies.

Great Christmases, lovely chaotic household, hope everyone gets the attention they need, lucky things.

I always wanted a big family, being one of four myself.

To me, anything more than two kids is unfathomable. My sister in law has three and she's an alpha, super woman type. Good luck to them but I can't relate.

That everything in the house is sticky with little jammy handprints everywhere.

I must admit if I think negatively it’s more because of how they are as parents.
4+ children, unkempt, not having their needs met, housing not suitable etc then yeah I do judge, but I would think negatively in this situation if they only had 1 child of course.
But if they have it together, then it’s more amazement at how they do it!
I do find it sad when some people have lots and lots of children as they like the whole pregnancy and baby stage and then as the children grow up they are just left to their own devices. I’ve worked in childcare for a long time and have seen it happen quite a lot sadly. Then they don’t have the time to meet emotional needs and things like reading to their children, helping with homework, or taking them to play parks/days out etc as they have too many children.

Id assume they were a blended family

I'm surprised at the number of responses saying they'd think of a stereotype!

I suppose if I really thought about it I might wonder if they're comfortably off but overall i would be envious - I love the idea of a large family. I know a few and never thought to question why they have more than 3 children.

Wealthy, possibly religious or other cultural influences. I'd also assume a SAHM

Wealthy, poor, religious

Wrong, wrong, wrong and wrong

Loaded to be able to afford it in the uk!

a family with 4 kids I dont think is that unusual, but I think a family of 6 kids, id maybe assume it was a blended family, or that they just really liked having kids.

I come from a big family. My first thoughts on seeing one nowadays stems back to my childhood thoughts of ' why weren't the first 1/2/3 children good enough for you?'
The more children the less individual time for each child. So who benefits?

I have 4 - both parents have always worked full time, not rich but all have had music, sports lessons etc. One through Uni with professional qualification, one at Uni, two at Grammar school (at top of year) - mortgage paid off in 40s - don’t tar us all with your preconceptions - except the one about being tired