what assumptions would you make about a family with four to six children?

[ChelseeDagger]

Not wanting to start a bun fight or being goady in the slightest. Just looking for honest opinions, whether they be positive, negative or neutral.

They find parenting easier than me!

@EssentialHummus

Religious, very wealthy or very poor.

Agree. Mind you, I know one family who have 4 kids: they agonised over whether or not to try for number 3....who turned out to be twins!

I don't think I'd make any other than they evidently like having kids a lot!

I'd see my own family!

(I have five brothers)

That they’re busy!

Nothing more.

It's interesting how many are saying that they would assume the parents like having kids.

Personally I would assume they like having babies and (even if it's subconsciously) fob the toddlers off onto the older kids. Older kids are probably left to their own devices when not looking after younger ones.

In my estate, the dad is an asshole and she doesn't have much choice. And he'll leave or treat her like crap.

I have 4... if I was truly following my religion, I’d probably have at least 8 by now!

I look at them and think you don't know what their circumstances.

I have 5 kids in my house, soon to be 6!

I have a DD13 and DS11 from my previous relationship. We co parent very well.

I have DD 20 months and new DD due imminently.

DSD12 lives with us full time as mum has substance misuse issues.

I also have nephew who is 15 as my sister suffered very badly with mental health during the 1st lockdown and is still recovering.

I'd assume they're knackered.

They wanted one of the opposite sex.

I’d say there were religious reasons behind having the large family, they were irresponsible, or they have money to burn.

I would presume all their children (or at least all but the last) have been good sleepers and fairly placid and obedient

@GiveTheGirlAGun

They wanted one of the opposite sex.

Actually this is true for all the families I know with 4.

Rather you than me.

I don’t think there’s anything inherently wrong with it but I wouldn’t want more than three at the most, more like two.

I'd think how ridiculously irresponsible it was and be incredibly snooty about it.

I have four and the only negative comments I’ve ever received have been from two of the most unmaternal women I’ve ever met. One, a friend, told me she regretted having her ds and wanted her “freedom” back and the other after saying in a very disdainful manner “God, I don’t understand why anyone would want 4 children” then went on to say she had only had her two to “keep her dh happy and fulfil his dream of having a family”. So in other words, not really people I would take advice from on matters relating to family! Most people say they think it’s lovely to have a large family. We are very lucky to be able to provide a very nice life for our dc’s - I wouldn’t have had a large family if we hadn’t had the means to still live in the level of lifestyle I like!
The only people I judge are the feckless types who continue to procreate despite not being able to provide their dc’s with a decent life. I know of someone who’s 4th child has just been taken straight into care on being born (the other 3 already are and she knew this one would be taken away but got pregnant regardless).

I would think they must be financially comfortable. I can't work out how we can afford more than one.

They must really like kids or be very unlucky with contraception.

I'm bemused by the assumption of wealth or destitution, particularly destitution.

We earn circa 75k and have a nice but by no means lavish lifestyle. The benefits cap is around 22k isn't it? I don't think there's many people who manage or would indeed even attempt to raise 4-6 children on that amount of money.

Most of the larger families I know of are middle earners, working professionals, small business owners etc, not landed gentry or people subsisting on benefits.

That they are idiots. I have four DC myself 🤭

I'd think how ridiculously irresponsible it was and be incredibly snooty about it.

In their presence? How incredibly rude of you.

I have four, three girls followed by a boy although the decision to have a fourth was not to have a boy totally expected four girls. All were very much planned. We are comfortable finance wise not well off but the DC have more than they ever need, I was a SAHM for years now work full time. DH and I both came from small dysfunctional families who weren’t close so wanted a big loving family, we both love children.

I'd think that they love having kids around and are more chilled than I am as I'd find it hard when they were little. I'd cope ok when they were teenagers as long as they were like my teenagers, which they might not be

I would probably think one of the parents stayed at home as it would be impossible to have a paid job as well.