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Original poster

what assumptions would you make about a family with four to six children?

676 replies

ChelseeDagger · 16/03/2021 11:15

Not wanting to start a bun fight or being goady in the slightest. Just looking for honest opinions, whether they be positive, negative or neutral.

OP posts:
theleafandnotthetree · 16/03/2021 20:42

[quote ScrunchieInNewYork]@theleafandnotthetree my husband probably gives off this sort of vibe 😂[/quote]
Well so long as it floats your boat! Smile

Molly70 · 16/03/2021 20:45

@ChelseeDagger

"I do think I have done society a great service by producing them"

To quote Mandy Rice_Davies.."well, you would say that wouldn't you?"

PattyPan · 16/03/2021 20:46

I do think I have done society a great service by producing them.

That oxytocin is strong eh!

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Families
FakeFruitShoot · 16/03/2021 20:47

I mean economically contributing, or supporting a contributor, by, in this case, properly and adequately meeting the family's needs

But most people go through periods of being net financial contributors and periods of being net takers. That's part of what makes a society civilised. Most of us can expect around a 50 year working life and that's plenty of time to contribute.

Contributing financially to society is one way of contributing - and we all do this through VAT and stamp duty and council tax anyway, not just via PAYE. Doing "a bit of charity work" as you so sneeringly put it is also contributing. As is being an unpaid carer, listening to children read etc. As is being a low income person who doesn't pay much income tax as most shop workers, carers and nursery nurses are.

People have an inherent value and as long as parents can raise children who see that inherent value in themselves (be that by pursuing hobbies, being listened to, being supported academically) and make use of it, that's a big step in the right direction. I can see why big families may struggle more than a smaller family to impart this self worth on their kids for a number of reasons, lack of time and lack of resources mainly.

oblada · 16/03/2021 20:47

theleafandnotthetree - seriously? That's not candid that's very arrogant indeed and being raised with those ideas around them can't be doing them favour.
I think my kids are kind, beautiful, v likeable, they do well academically and they have hobbies and talents. But I wouldn't go as far as saying I did society a great service as I realise ultimately how positive their impact will be on earth can only be assessed at the end and it is partly going to be down to sheer luck. When I chose to have 4 kids I had them for myself (and my husband of course and any current child), not for society.

Original poster
ChelseeDagger · 16/03/2021 20:48

Its honestly ok.

I'd hate me too under differing circumstances, so fire away ladies, it won't make them any less wonderful Smile

OP posts:
DenisetheMenace · 16/03/2021 20:50

May think they had strong religious beliefs and/or no environmental concerns.

ZednotZee · 16/03/2021 20:51

@ChelseeDagger

Fucking hell I grudgingly admire you you sound like a bloke.

theleafandnotthetree · 16/03/2021 20:53

[quote ChelseeDagger]@theleafandnotthetree

I'd go along with your supposition actually.

All of my children are beautiful, kind, high acheivers. I do think I have done society a great service by producing them. And no, I'm not being facetious, simply candid.[/quote]
My children are average looking, mostly kind, though occasionally not and don't seem to be on the track to high achievement. 'The world' would get along just fine without them even if I wouldn't. But at least there's only 2 of them so I guess I can feel superior about the old carbon footprint Hmm

theleafandnotthetree · 16/03/2021 20:56

@oblada

theleafandnotthetree - seriously? That's not candid that's very arrogant indeed and being raised with those ideas around them can't be doing them favour. I think my kids are kind, beautiful, v likeable, they do well academically and they have hobbies and talents. But I wouldn't go as far as saying I did society a great service as I realise ultimately how positive their impact will be on earth can only be assessed at the end and it is partly going to be down to sheer luck. When I chose to have 4 kids I had them for myself (and my husband of course and any current child), not for society.
Not exactly hiding your light under a bushel yourself there @oblada!
nevernotstruggling · 16/03/2021 21:02

I might wonder if there was a theme to the names. I have 2 dc with co ordinated names. That's all.

ZednotZee · 16/03/2021 21:02

oblada

OP might be an arrogant so and so but she's a world away from the assumptions made of the larger families on this thread and I can only applaud her for sticking the proverbial two fingers up at those who have sought throughout this thread to denigrate her life choices.

Kendodd · 16/03/2021 21:02

That the parents don't give a shit about the environment.

en0la · 16/03/2021 21:03

That they like having children and wanted a large family.

PattyPan · 16/03/2021 21:05

@ZednotZee she did literally ask for opinions, including negative ones...

ZednotZee · 16/03/2021 21:07

@nevernotstruggling none of my five children's names are in any way coordinated. They're individuals, not an outfit.

Please tell me you children's names don't begin with K. I don't think I could take it Grin

ZednotZee · 16/03/2021 21:08

@PattyPan

I agree with you, she asked for opinions; she didn't agree to acquiesce to them.

oblada · 16/03/2021 21:09

Theleafandnotthetree - I expect most (all) mothers think that or similar about their children. I'm not going to be hiding from it and pretend I think my kids are brats. But I also realise it's my very subjective view and not a world truth.

Original poster
ChelseeDagger · 16/03/2021 21:11

@ZednotZee

Thank you honestly for your kind words, but if being honest truly entails bring seen to be 'sticking it to' my detractors, well it says more about their wholly unwarranted prejudice than anything else.

OP posts:
IWishIWasABaller · 16/03/2021 21:14

The people I know that have large families fall into two categories. One:Rich farmer husband, sahm, large house and garden or two: both parents on benefits ,living in a small rented or council house .

oblada · 16/03/2021 21:14

@ZednotZee

oblada

OP might be an arrogant so and so but she's a world away from the assumptions made of the larger families on this thread and I can only applaud her for sticking the proverbial two fingers up at those who have sought throughout this thread to denigrate her life choices.

I don't fit any of the assumptions either, that doesn't make me better or worse those who do. Assumptions are, by definition, often wrong...
ZednotZee · 16/03/2021 21:19

@oblada

Really? So you're not better than a large family who fit the assumption of drug use or willful neglect?

Interesting...

PattyPan · 16/03/2021 21:21

True - evidently she is not acquiescing but not sure what the point of the thread was really.

OP, given your children are such a gift, maybe one of them can be the one to solve the climate crisis Smile

Butchyrestingface · 16/03/2021 21:21

@ChelseeDagger

As I said, I find other people's prejudices interesting.
How do you feel about your own prejudices?
oblada · 16/03/2021 21:24

[quote ZednotZee]@oblada

Really? So you're not better than a large family who fit the assumption of drug use or willful neglect?

Interesting...[/quote]
Funny... obviously I was referring to most of the more standard assumptions I've read here such as rich/poor/SAHM/not enough time for the kids/sleep deprived..
I suppose I do fit some the assumptions such as a busy happy household and we are rather organised.