My boyfriend makes mouth noises when eating. Shall I stab or suffocate?

[G3ntlemanJ]

I HATE IT!!!!!!! And I have asked him so many times to not do it but he forgets and starts up again. He used to make other eating noises too - which I never noticed until friends mentioned it and I think the message has got through about those, but the mouth noises - I just CANNOT STAND THEM!!!

My uncle does this but luckily I don't have to live with him. I would say pillow to keep him quiet & then stabbing with one of his cutlery items.

This would be a dealbreaker for me.

Ewww. This would honestly be too much for me. Find a man who can eat like a human at least.

DH makes a lot of noise when he eats and it almost drives me to tears. In his case it’s usually because he has taken an enormous bite of his food so he just sort of smashes it around until it’s manageable to chew

I’ve asked him to take smaller bites, to chew with his mouth closed, not to scrap his cutlery on his teeth etc a million times but he’s a grown man - there’s not much else I can do! I’ve been known to leave the room.

Scrape*

My husband is the same, he sounds like a starved dog having it's first meal for a week! It's almost like his head sounds hollow and I can hear EVERYTHING! Starting to lose my temper with him about it. It's no exaggeration that I can hear him eating from another room 😡

Record him doing it then play it back really loud in his ear when he is sleeping.

Honestly, now you're reading these responses, move on.

What do you mean mouth noises? Is his mouth closed and you still hear it? Or its wide open while chewing?

MIL talks with her mouth stuffed full and its revolting! You can't understand what she is saying and she spits out bits of food!

I’d say both to be on the safe side to make sure it STOPS.

It is disgusting and one of my absolute most hated things in life. Some people just don’t understand how angry and sick it makes you feel when you have to listen to it!

What is with all these men not being able to eat properly?!

You've all made me laugh!

Amusedbush - your situation sounds similar to mine!

Mouth noises - I can't explain, it's like the lips smacking together but really quietly? Does that make sense?! And he does it slowly, moving his tongue around his mouth, arghhhh!!!!!!

Not eating with his mouth open, no. Small mercies I suppose. He used to almost groan when eating 😡😡😡😡

Without referencing it, just start making really awful mouth noises, chewing with your mouth open etc until he gets the hint.

If the hint isn't got, smother him with a massive slice of ham.

He lived on his own on a very remote island for ages so he obviously developed bad habits there! He also used to shove so much food into his mouth at once it was like he was elbowing it down. I said "It's really not sexy to watch someone shoving their face full of food." He didn't do it again.

@Okbussitout

What is with all these men not being able to eat properly?!

Grown up men do. It's best to stick to grown ups when dating.

@G3ntlemanJ

He lived on his own on a very remote island for ages so he obviously developed bad habits there! He also used to shove so much food into his mouth at once it was like he was elbowing it down. I said "It's really not sexy to watch someone shoving their face full of food." He didn't do it again.

But he's still eating like this. He won't stop. It's disgusting and you can see from the responses here that it won't get better.

My ex used to go mmm mmm mmm all the time he was eating, drove me fucking nuts!!

It's almost like his head sounds hollow

DH once came to bed long after I’d gone upstairs and he lay next to me in the dark crunching something. I asked what hell was going on and he said he’d grabbed a handful of almonds on his way upstairs who thinks it’s acceptable to chomp on a handful of almonds in bed at 1am??

DH and I work together, as well as living together and I have to go out of the office when he's eating his lunch so I don't throw a brick or a machete at him.

My Dad is even worse, I've listened to it my whole life

Almost groan, OP?! Urgh! I am massively misophonic (is that a word?). I realised that my daughter, who is 10, has become like me. I have never given her a hard time about noisy eating so maybe it's hereditary.

Oh stab and suffocate just to be sure....

Deal breaker for me. Depends what you want out of a relationship whether it is for you or not.

I couldn’t live with someone who does that.

Urgh. Poor table manners are a deal breaker for me.