My boyfriend makes mouth noises when eating. Shall I stab or suffocate?

[G3ntlemanJ]

I HATE IT!!!!!!! And I have asked him so many times to not do it but he forgets and starts up again. He used to make other eating noises too - which I never noticed until friends mentioned it and I think the message has got through about those, but the mouth noises - I just CANNOT STAND THEM!!!

You must love him a lot. I’d send him back to the island.

A friend of ours (now gone) was an appallingly noisy eater - open mouth stuffed with food, too. Why TF can’t people teach their children acceptable table manners?
There was always a surreptitious argument in our family about who was not going to sit opposite him at the table - it was that bad.

Personally, OP, I’d choose to eat apart until he learns, and I wouldn’t eat out with him, or at friends’ houses. And if he asked why, I’d say it was because his table manners were too embarrassing.

I am feeling sorry for the animals and other wildlife on the island that they had to put up with him for so long.

I think as it offends, time to end the relationship.

There was always a surreptitious argument in our family about who was not going to sit opposite him at the table - it was that bad.

My husband has a friend like this. He knows if he invites him for dinner then I won’t sit opposite him. It’s absolutely repulsive.

@Fallsballs

You must love him a lot. I’d send him back to the island.

😂😂😂

But seriously though. Smothering. Hopefully he goes peacefully or quietly, for once. My OH also eats loudly and scrapes the cutlery against the plate. It makes me want to scratch my eyes out.

I think you have your answer OP - smother and then insert the italian stiletto if that does not quite work - Of course you must weigh that up against losing your life partner and the other sadness may or may not give you. Otherwise (I have an uncle with chompy jaws ) - just kill him and bury at sea . I am not sure revolting eating is worth the candle = Other opinions are available

I’m having my patio replaced at the end of the month. I’m sure he would fit nicely under the new one.

Oh I think your boyfriend is my ex husband.
That's genuinely one of (many) reasons he's an ex. You've got the ick!

I’ve moved desks at work because of a coworker doing this. He slurps his tea and smacks his lips as well.

I really wish people stuck around the relationship board and realised things like this are not little things and gradually erode a relationship. He's disgusting in this way, I can guarantee he is in other ways, too. It's not cute or endearing. There's no excuse for it. He's an adult.

My husband does this because he's an habitual mouth breather. I feel hateful when he eats anything crunchy.

My exH used to bite spoons when he ate with them. Especially if it was ice cream. It used to make me flinch, really wasn't nice to listen to

This is one of the reasons my H is my exH. No matter how many times I would gently ask, remind, ignore or just get fucking angry he carried on eating like a hog.

Fucking disgusting habit; shows a complete lack of manners and, more importantly, self awareness.

@willibald

I really wish people stuck around the relationship board and realised things like this are not little things and gradually erode a relationship. He's disgusting in this way, I can guarantee he is in other ways, too. It's not cute or endearing. There's no excuse for it. He's an adult.

Absolutely this.

I did feel a bit bad today when he came to sit next to me with a sandwich and I looked at him and he immediately stood up and said he'd go and eat in the kitchen. I asked what had made him do that and he said my scowl 😂 I didn't mean to, I think the look was unintentional, undiluted horror. He is getting the message though, dinner went without a hitch.

The other thing I absolutely hate is when he goes to sleep before I do he snuggles into me and breathes directly into my face. It's awful. He always does it and I always make him turn over and say I don't like it!

@SandSeaBeach

Dont marry him

I was going to say this ^^, OP but it sounds like you really love him... Hope his improvements continue though otherwise any children you have might develop the same eating habits! 🌹

DPs DS (late teen) is atrocious for this. The worst I've ever heard. DP agrees. Problem is DP has told him but his DS can be quite arrogant and refuses to believe it. My own DS mentioned it to me as well so there were 3 of us all saying how bad it was and he made the effort to try to stop. But you can tell he still doesn't believe it's a problem.

I said to DP many people will find that a dealbreaker as I certainly would. He agreed so I guess his DS will find out the hard way. I HATE it when adults cannot eat quietly, it's really not that difficult.

Tell him he needs his food put in a blender and spoon fed to him like a baby if he can’t eat like an adult. I can’t stand chewing noises so he’d be out on his arse if he were my dp! Do you have any parcel tape?

Euuugghhh Op.
Noises when eating and breathing into your face in bed.
😖😖

Sorry, I didn’t answer the question.
Suffocate due to the bed thing.
And to be absolutely sure, stab with a fork due to the food thing.

This reminds me of John Torode (?) when we used to watch Masterchef. He seemed to use a huge spoon to put loads of food in his mouth and it always sounded as though he bit the spoon or knocked his teeth with it before munching and crunching. I don't watch it anymore. Just eurgh!

@G3ntlemanJ

I did feel a bit bad today when he came to sit next to me with a sandwich and I looked at him and he immediately stood up and said he'd go and eat in the kitchen. I asked what had made him do that and he said my scowl 😂 I didn't mean to, I think the look was unintentional, undiluted horror. He is getting the message though, dinner went without a hitch.

The other thing I absolutely hate is when he goes to sleep before I do he snuggles into me and breathes directly into my face. It's awful. He always does it and I always make him turn over and say I don't like it!

Do you really want the rest of your life to be like this? Ick. I have to say, I kissed a lot of frogs before DH and I got together, but seriously, think long and hard and read even the posts on here. Yes, you meant to, because the way he eats is gross. It's not your job to change him. Seriously, by the time I got with DH I was just done with humouring stuff like this, just ick and I was out of there. Now we've been together nearly 20 years I can tell you, anything like this doesn't get better!