The person who raped me has ended up what looks to be happily married to a highly successful, kind, beautiful doctor

[Pleasegivemeyourwisdom]

This makes me feel like shit.

They’ve been together a long time. Lovely children by looks of it. Very nice lifestyle.

It stings.

It’s taken me a long time to heal, cobble together a life, and harness a career.

Not sure why I’m typing, just a bit sad.

❤️

I think the news of Sarah has affected many women deeply. I’ve felt quite depressed this week thinking about what she must have gone through and now her family will go through. And when certain things happen, it is ‘normal’ to reflect on our own lives and experiences.
Please know that people care. 💕

I’m so sorry x

@Pleasegivemeyourwisdom

I’m so really sorry for others in this thread in my boat. I’d give anything I had to change your story, mine too. I believe you.

I believe you too. And I believe in you.

Mine appears to have found his happily ever after as well and it really bothers me.

They may be living their best lives now but karma will get them eventually. Even if it doesn't, I'm pretty sure they're gonna be on a one way train to hell after they die.

It never leaves us. Never. We learn to handle it, we go on...sometimes to wonderful things, but it never leaves us. Nor, I think, does it quite ever leave them. He will live for the rest of his life knowing that everything he has is founded on the lie that he is a "good" man, and that he could be found out at any moment. And I promise you, that fear is worse for him than actual discovery would be.

As for you...I hope that gives you some comfort. My rapist confessed what he had done to me (and others) when he found out he had a terminal illness. He said he felt as if a huge weight was lifted off of him. Let's hope yours lives with that weight forever.

She is married to and had children with a vile abuser of women. You are physically free of him, though I do understand his memory is a torment.

I wouldn't envy her or her family. He is the same man he was, albeit even more entitled with age.

Its so strange how these people get away and live happily. So sorry OP. You will find ur path to happiness eventually x tables can turn.

I care too, OP. I'm so sorry. He's vile to the core.
I was abused about 20 years ago. I cant talk about it. Never discussed it with anyone, still can't now. I'm 'ok' with it (well, not ok, but have tried hard to bury it in my mind when memories come flooding back). You sound very strong, OP. Wishing you all the best

I am so sorry this happened to you and for every other woman going through this. Its like a stain on our lives they get to wash it off and pretend it never happened maybe justify it to themselves every day. We won't know because our mindset isn't evil. We are left with the pain and the shame that is misplaced. Only now am I beginning to speak openly about my experiences 15 years ago and even then I feel that I am infecting whoever I tell with negativity. I just wanted to hold your hand and stand with you and all the women on this thread who have been subjected to this hate. I have to believe this will come back to them in the end in some way. But I just want you to know that you are brave and strong and maybe in some ways this thread will help a woman out there seek their justice or know that your story is important. Your pain is important and you are not alone.

It must be so hard to live through.

However if you feel you would like to report, it is never too late.
here in Australia there have been several rapes reported that occurred in Parliament House a few years ago. One female reported, then 2 more.
In a separate case, the Attorney General has been accused. He denies it. His victim committed suicide last year. It looked like a closed case. But a former boyfriend of the deceased has come out to say she talked about her rape to him, so it is not a closed case.

there can be a way.

I hope your life , husband and children all keep you on a great trajectory away from this horrible person.

No matter how good his life is, he'll always be a rapist.

I'm sorry he chose to reveal himself and that you're still dealing with it, but no matter how great things appear for him, he's still a rapist.

and hugs just for you.

My rapist exh got a life sentence, not in prison but he has MS which has now made him a prisoner in his own body & in a wheelchair, it is progressive & he will only get worse. He is unable to leave home, rarely sees anyone but his carers, even ds has made the choice to reduce the amount of times he visits him & doesn't answer his calls as often.

Also I think it is hard in today's society not to equate material things with success. He may be richer than you in monetary terms and seemingly has a wonderful life but your lovely husband and children far outweigh that. He is poor in every other sense of the word and his wife probably doesn't even have a clue though I suspect the mask will slip one day. How v sad for her and his parents when it does.

So sorry to read this , it is appalling for you .
Re counselling , a powerful tool for dealing with ptsd and past trauma is a technique called EMDR .Its a bit odd as it uses eye movement..Eye Movement Desensitization &Resetting..but appears to have a good success rate ..I'm an ex mental health nurse and seen positive results from it .Worth exploring ..all the best .

I was also going to suggest EMDR.

This blog has more info www.thesurvivorstrust.org/blog/my-experience-of-emdr-treating-trauma

My rapist is a successful designer. He has a quote on his website from a head teacher saying how great he is to work with which makes me feel a bit sick.

to all of us who are bearing the scars our rapists left

I'm so sorry. I doubt very much if he no longer assaults. I dont think it's a one time thing and as he has a successful wife I would imagine he might do it more as he probably resents her.

Men like him don't like women. It's not you.

On social media, it might appear that he loves and cherishes his wife and that they have a lovely life but you don't know what goes on behind closed doors. I hope I'm wrong for the sake of his wife but I wouldn't assume he treats her with nothing but love, kindness and respect.

Firstly I am sorry this happened to you ,yoou did nothing wrong and did not deserve to be treated so badly by an utter Cunt. So he has married now to a successful professional woman .A Doctor! Well she hasnt done very well has she ? Married to aforementioned piece of shit! No doubt he hasnt changed one jot .Probably still trying it on with junior members of staff,pretty young women and so on .You are so brave ,and have made a success of your life against very difficult odds .Pat yourself on the back and consign him to the history bin! Maybe seek some more Counselling just to come to terms with this .Sending hugs to you xxx

Not all Counsellors are the same .Someone else may be much more supportive .Maybe try again?