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Original poster

Anyone else have no friends?

91 replies

user690865 · 07/03/2021 21:47

I know this probably sounds pathetic but I have no friends. No one to phone, no one to make plans with for after lockdown.
I feel so lonely and sad 😞

OP posts:
KILNAMATRA · 07/03/2021 23:27

Well, it needn't be that way always, and everyone has lonely times.. so you have an opportunity now coming out of lockdown to start new ideas and friendships.. new hobby? Hillwalkers are very social.. united in pain trying to get up the hill.. and England has great walking routes.. helping somehow always brings communication.. foodbank, walking a dog, .. I've moved house and country many times.. it is hard and lonely sometimes but you have to step forward, smile and try new things.. volunteering and hill walking helped me..

hippychick11 · 20/03/2021 20:48

@user690865 I very much feel the same way right now. I lost 2 dear friends in the last few years and still haven't really grieved properly. I think lockdown has been very isolating for so many of us. Maybe you could make plans for lockdown to join some new groups, I am going to do that. Sorry that I couldnt be of more help, but you aren't alone. So many more of us are feeling the same way right now Flowers

Ladywinesalot · 20/03/2021 20:50

This year in lockdown has been rubbish for keeping up friends.
Keep talking on here Flowers

ElderMillennial · 20/03/2021 21:03

Have you always felt this way OP or is it due to lockdown?

Are there any groups you can join in your area? In my area there is a friendship support group and they are allowed to meet as they are a support group. They meet outdoors.

There are Facebook groups for all different interests so you could get to know people that way.

Do you have any colleagues or acquaintances you could get to know better?

There are threads like this all the time on Mumsnet. It's surprising how many people feel this way.

There are also specific friendship groups on Mumsnet you can join.

GreenSlide · 20/03/2021 22:29

Are you in your mid twenties by any chance, because this is a thing for women around that age, it's called a quarter life crisis and it's all about how you move on from school and uni friends but haven't found a group of new friends yet. Happened to me too, I spent a lot of my twenties friendless.

ElderMillennial · 20/03/2021 22:31

I have read a lot of threads like this from women 30-40+, particularly 35-40

mrurddhasabitpart · 20/03/2021 22:36

I'm exactly the same. Haven't had anyone to "miss". It's not that I've not kept up friendships , it's that I don't have them. My "friends " from school still see each other but not me and when I do see them I don't know what to say/ have anything in common with them. I don't have a single real friend who knows me. I've joined classes, groups etc. Joined nct and mums groups when I had dd. I never seem to "click" or get beyond small talk. I'm just unlikable I guess . It's sad and lonely .

LookItsMeAgain · 20/03/2021 22:41

I'm in my mid-40's and I have no friends.
Neighbours, yes and colleagues too but no one that I could phone or go to the cinema (when they eventually re-open) or for a drink with. I have my family and work colleagues but no friends.
I have spent all of my adult life working so I never did the school yard collection or drop off (used a childminder while the kids were younger and couldn't use public transport to get to/from school) so I never met up with the other school mums.

OhioOhioOhio · 20/03/2021 22:46

I feel like this too. My xh broke our whole community.

SourMilkGhyll · 20/03/2021 22:47

@36mrurddhasabitpart and @LookItsMeAgain
I could have written exactly your posts.

Sadly I think this is my life from now on ...

Bargebill19 · 20/03/2021 22:47

No friends here. I know people through work, but when I change employment site or go home - that’s where it ends.
It is hard, but try to learn to be self sufficient and confident in yourself. Do what makes you happy don’t wait around for people to be friends. Otherwise you life passes you by, and you become more unhappy. Happiness and self confidence seems to attract people.
Which is unfortunate, if like me, by the time you are accepting of being alone, you no longer particularly want or need friends.

Yep ignore me.

Iwillgotothegym · 20/03/2021 22:52

@mrurddhasabitpart

I'm exactly the same. Haven't had anyone to "miss". It's not that I've not kept up friendships , it's that I don't have them. My "friends " from school still see each other but not me and when I do see them I don't know what to say/ have anything in common with them. I don't have a single real friend who knows me. I've joined classes, groups etc. Joined nct and mums groups when I had dd. I never seem to "click" or get beyond small talk. I'm just unlikable I guess . It's sad and lonely .
I’m like this but don’t have a family of my own. With DParents arm but that can’t last then just me.

I was starting going to meet-up but wasn’t able to keep it up. I worry that people will go out family to cinema but not with new people after this gets more normal.

Noell · 20/03/2021 22:55

I have been think about this recently. I dont have any proper friends any more. I have been feeling a bit anxious about coming out of lock down because I don't have many people to meet up with.

Diesse · 20/03/2021 22:57

Me too, no friends at all. I have acquaintances and people I used to meet up with, but lockdown has taught me I’ve no real friends. Luckily I’m an introvert, but sometimes it’s tough.

caringcarer · 20/03/2021 23:01

When we get of lockdown join some groups. We have a neighbourhood group and before Covid there were always people wanting to go on dog walks together to socialise their dogs. If you have kids join them up to sports clubs. We take child to cricket and probably because matches go on for hours parents take picnics and sit and chat together whilst team plays. I made good friends there. They also have social evening events which are quizzes, music evenings, drinking socialising and I have been to a few things without dh because everyone is do friendly. Cheer on their children when they score runs or take a wicket and they will love you. If you go to the gym try joining a class and chat to people there. After a few weeks suggest coffee afterwards. Sometimes you have to be proactive and be the one to suggest going for coffee. Try an evening class at college, photography or something. They sometimes arrange trips out to take photos. Join a rambling club often they walk somewhere then get a pub lunch before walking back. If you feel unloved get a cat or dog for company. If you got a puppy you could join a puppy training group. They often carry on meeting up after official sessions stop to walk dogs together.

DarkDarkNight · 20/03/2021 23:04

I don’t either OP. My lockdown life isn’t much different to my normal life. I know what you mean about no plans for meet-ups after lockdown, nowhere to go and nobody to go with.

No partner either. I don’t think people get the loneliness of not having someone to call for a catch-up, or talk to when you’re feeling down.

I thought maybe at Uni I would make lifelong friends, or at mother and baby classes or the school gate but no.

Miljea · 20/03/2021 23:06

OP- they gone.

spaceghetto · 20/03/2021 23:07

I see lots of close knit friend groups in our village, made up of school mums. Seeing this makes me feel really lonely as I'm not part of any group and I find this impacts on ds too as he hasnt been invited to things like zoom catchups even though he's in some close friend groups. It is always on my mind but I dont know to integrate myself or how to fit in.

ravenfield · 20/03/2021 23:14

I have no friends either. I've never managed to maintain friendships, people just drift away after a while. I don't mind any more. I have a DH and toddler and we spend every weekend together (under lockdown and in normal times).

Before we had DD I had hobbies and I got to know people through that, and would chat when we met up in groups, but it never really reached the 'friendship' stage - I never really saw them outside of the group or had any contact details for them, just friended them on FB (which I've now stopped using, so I don't even keep in touch through that).

I think on the positive side it means I can focus all my time on me and my family, I never feel obligated to help anyone out, or get roped into doing things I don't like. After lockdown we're hoping to have another DC and move to a bigger house so I expect I'll be spending all my time on family/home matters and not have time for anyone else, so I don't feel the need to make an effort to find friends now.

StellaKowalski · 20/03/2021 23:39

I'm in my twenties and have one, and though we're very close, we live quite far apart so only see each other every six months or so.

I actually had a bit of a cry about this today; I just feel so lonely Blush Doesn't help that DP is Mr Popular, so is always texting group chats and meeting up with people.

I have 0 plans for when lockdown ends. Honestly not even one.

Letsallscreamatthesistene · 21/03/2021 00:28

Im mid 30's and have one friend who lives a good 1.5hrs away. I suppose we see each other once every few months - or did pre-lockdown. The real truth is that I dont really want a lot of friends. My colleagues are nice and I have a happy home with DH and my toddler. It'd be different I lived alone I suspect.

I moved around with work a lot, and saw 'friends' as people I got on with in that area. Once I moved on I made zero efforrt at keeping in contact, because if I did id spend my entire day messaging people and never get a weekend to myself. I think I laid the foundations then of how my life is now, and its ok I think.

FWIW I think a lot of people are like this. Remember, the stuff people post on social media is the stuff they want to show off about. People dont show off about run of the mill, routine things. People that post their healthy plate of food dont eat like that all the time, if it was routine and boring they wouldnt feel the need to share it. Same goes with groups of friends on social media. When people post things about catch ups with friends I dont think its a common thing, otherwise they wouldnt post it. Im rambling a bit, but hopefully you get my point.

Firebird83 · 21/03/2021 01:14

I had one friend but she moved abroad last year. Now I have no-one (other than DH) so feel quite lonely a lot of the time.

Lottiethelemming · 21/03/2021 01:21

I've none. None at all. I've moved around quite a bit which has put paid to the possibility of long term friends.

Feel free to DM me OP, or anybody at all! I'm early 30's, 3 kids in tow including DP. I read a lot. I'm not easily offended. I want a cat. I eat far too much chocolate and I work full time in a job I'm very good at but can barely manage.

ClearMountain · 21/03/2021 01:23

I don’t have any friends either. I don’t give a shit! When I’m working, juggling DC school and hobbies, doing housework and laundry, cooking every night, walking the dog twice a day, trying to keep on top of the garden and decorate the house - where have I got time to see friends even if I had any? I don’t even have time to watch Netflix never mind see friends.

May17th · 21/03/2021 01:27

@StellaKowalski

I'm in my twenties and have one, and though we're very close, we live quite far apart so only see each other every six months or so.

I actually had a bit of a cry about this today; I just feel so lonely Blush Doesn't help that DP is Mr Popular, so is always texting group chats and meeting up with people.

I have 0 plans for when lockdown ends. Honestly not even one.

People usually make friends through their husbands. After Covid your husbands close friends if they have a partner/wife you could invite them round for dinner.