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Original poster

Anyone else have no friends?

91 replies

user690865 · 07/03/2021 21:47

I know this probably sounds pathetic but I have no friends. No one to phone, no one to make plans with for after lockdown.
I feel so lonely and sad 😞

OP posts:
Practicalprat · 21/03/2021 07:35

Me neither, no real friends that you can spill your guts to.yes acquaintances.but not particularly bothered either.

Badger2021 · 21/03/2021 07:52

Well if anyone's around Shropshire, I would like someone to walk and talk with!

ScandiCrimeFan · 21/03/2021 08:01

Same here, no friends. I have two mum friends from where I use to live, we message occasionally but have no plans to meet up after lockdown. Or ever.
When I separated from XP all my ‘friends’ disappeared, and after that I moved to a tiny, posh village and had no friends for three years. I live in a much nicer place now, I started making acquaintances at the school gates which could have become friendships bit lockdown put an end to that.

I do have DP and DC to keep me busy, but a female friend would be nice.

LaMariposa · 21/03/2021 08:07

Lockdown has changed my friendships. Good friend who lives hours away we still chat just as much. Local friends have died away as we can’t meet for coffee, go round each other’s houses.
I have a school mum friend that I drink gin at the park with (just one!) on a Friday while the children run riot. And regular tea and chat in the front garden with the neighbours who have become really good friends.
Not sure who I’ll meet when lockdown lifts.

GoLightlyontheEarth · 21/03/2021 08:12

I have moved a lot and in most areas have had one close friend, maybe two. By the time I built up those friendships, we moved again.
I have three close friends and one or two less close now. Only one lives in my area so I don’t physically see them. The one who does live in my area I realise I have very little in common with . Daily txting and talking during lockdown has shown me the differences between us, but I know she would be there for me if I needed anything.
Perhaps this thread could be a ‘friendship’ thread which is ongoing ? It may turn out that some people live near each other and can actually meet up.

Dailywalk · 21/03/2021 08:15

I feel like this sometimes too. Other people seem to have loads of people to chat or walk with, plans for when lockdown ends etc. I don’t think it helps I work on my own at home.

GoLightlyontheEarth · 21/03/2021 08:21

I think you have to really work to make and maintain friendships . Hobbies, interests etc can help us meet people but someone has to make the effort to suggest that first coffee or whatever and then keep a friendship going. We all move around so much now and change jobs . It takes work and effort.

blowinahoolie · 21/03/2021 08:25

Same here, OP. I understand. I have recently got a puppy though and looking forward to trying the regional meet ups for the breed once lockdown has ended and things get back to normal. Need a common interest to make friends.

Mintjulia · 21/03/2021 08:29

I had few friends up until lockdown. Like @clearmountain I spent all my time working or raising DS. I was too busy. Since lockdown, I have developed friendships with four people because I could help with shopping, find time to chat or exercise together etc.

OP, have you tried saying hello to neighbours, asking them if they need anything if you are going to the supermarket, just basic simple stuff.

When lockdown ends, I'm going to invite all my neighbours for drinks/chat in the garden for an hour. No idea if they'll come but being isolated for so long has made me a bit braver. What have I got to lose.

ElderMillennial · 21/03/2021 08:38

I agree what people post on SM is not real life a lot of the time, nor are sex and the city type friendships.

If anyone wants to join the friendship group on Facebook I'm in (it was set up by Mumsnet users) then PM me and I will see if I can send you a link.

Hopdathelf · 21/03/2021 08:51

I worry for people who are content not to cultivate friendships because they have enough from their DH and DC. What happens when they’re gone for whatever reason?

bluecricket · 21/03/2021 09:10

Could mumsnet set up a section for people to arrange meet ups in local areas?

BobbinThreadbare123 · 21/03/2021 09:16

@ElderMillennial I was coming to post about that FB group too. Almost identical thread a year ago, so some kind soul set up a group. I find it hard to meet any friends; I work almost entirely with men and I live in a sparsely populated area, no kids either so no mum mates to make. MeetUp etc seems to work for cities but not here! The MN FB group has been great for easing the feeling of loneliness tbh.

BLTLover · 21/03/2021 09:20

I've been burnt too many times to bother with friends.

GoLightlyontheEarth · 21/03/2021 09:31

@bluecricket

Could mumsnet set up a section for people to arrange meet ups in local areas?
That’s such a great idea
SpacePotato · 21/03/2021 10:04

Could mumsnet set up a section for people to arrange meet ups in local areas?

There already is. In Mumsnet stuff, meet-ups, but it gets no traffic.

ItsALovelyDayToday · 21/03/2021 10:10

I’d not have any friends, although DH is my best friend. I did have a long-standing best friend until recently but I had to “break up” with her because she was making life decisions that I couldn’t support. But she lives so far away we’d barely seen each other in years.

I’m lucky to have family who are like friends to me - siblings, cousins, even parents and various in-laws on all sides.

I feel much happier without friends though, now. I move around a lot and the stress of trying to keep up with people in the past used to make me so anxious.

It’s odd because everyone else in my family is incredibly sociable and have tonnes of friends, especially my parents who I don’t think have a lost touch with a single person they’ve ever met over the past fifty years 😂

DDIJ · 21/03/2021 10:17

This reply has been withdrawn

Message from MNHQ: This post has been withdrawn

StellaKowalski · 21/03/2021 10:26

Thanks for the reply @May17th

I get on well with one of DP's friend's partner, but it's one of those cases where we get on when we're together, but never directly communicate without our DP's being there Confused Blah!

hippychick11 · 21/03/2021 11:49

@ElderMillennial just messaged you about the fb group Smile

toffeebutterpopcorn · 21/03/2021 11:52

@bluecricket

Could mumsnet set up a section for people to arrange meet ups in local areas?
There are the local ‘pages’ on here - maybe try to set something up?
ElderMillennial · 21/03/2021 11:52

I have just replied @hippychick11 Smile

Arrowheart · 21/03/2021 11:54

No friends here either. There are a lot of similar threads like this which ar least makes me feel less of an outcast.

Arrowheart · 21/03/2021 11:57

Pls could you tell me the name of the Facebook group so I can join. Thanks

timegoesbysoslowly · 21/03/2021 12:10

Me neither, about to turn 50 and only have DP and his family. We don't live together he stays weekends so alone rest off time.

Never had friends really, bullied at school and beyond. I have severe social anxiety, spent most off my 20's, 30's alone. Tried to tackle it in my 40's, joined running group but got pushed out due to Queen Bee for being too quiet.

But in them years met my DP but he's a loner like me and don't have friends, don't really socialise with family expect his parents.

Before lockdown would go out shopping or cinema on my own

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