Anyone else have no friends?

[user690865]

I know this probably sounds pathetic but I have no friends. No one to phone, no one to make plans with for after lockdown.
I feel so lonely and sad 😞

We need a pen pal club! Maybe say your region (as close as you feel comfortable) and see where we go - maybe they’re are suggestions for local clubs or activities.

Of course this it the internet and we could all be cannibals or something...

The only person in my life is my mum. I have a brother too but we don't do anything together. No friends, no partner, no kids.

Oops pressed sent to soon.

I just don't know what to stay to people, mind goes blank, hate social occasions.

Quite enjoyed lockdown, everyone living my life, have many hobbies inside.

I've given up trying to make friends, would love a female friend but the anxiety makes me ill.

I'm trying to just accept I'm happy without friends, if I want to do something I'll do it alone and don't care what other people think

@toffeebutterpopcorn that's a wonderful idea or maybe a WhatsApp group. I think it would be a big support for many of us just to have someone to message

Ok I’ll start - central London

You are also welcome to PM me for the FB group. I live in the wilds of Cumbria so it's very rare to meet anyone else...

I moved further out (still London) and feel lonely. I wished I never moved. I'm on a main road and my neighbours are old and not keen on socialising, avid gardeners/churchgoers type of people. We just about got in DC primary school (nearest one was religious and we arent) who all live nearer to the school and the school mums quite cliquey - many part time or SAHMs so I dont see them much. Even pre covid i tried some apps which was a bit wierd being like tinder for mums.. it doesnt help I'm not a big drinker nor mumsy (great cook/housekeeper/dinner party host sort - you know what I mean) nor have family living in UK, but I'm kind, loving, jokey and loyal to my long time friends (who are all in another country). I do meet up with 1 or 2 parent friends, both foreigners too.

It's so ironic that I'm in London and surrounded by so many people but feel lonely.

@LudoBear

The only person in my life is my mum. I have a brother too but we don't do anything together. No friends, no partner, no kids.

This is the same as me. I have a partner, but my mum is basically my only good friend. If you were ever to look at my call log, it is literally:

Mum
Mum
Mum
Mum

The other day, we somehow spent over 3 hours on the phone. It was lovely, and I love her to bits, but it would be nice if I had someone else to ring lol.

I really have 1, maybe 2. I’m good with it, I find friendship too much effort, I have my family and work to concentrate on.

Maybe a book club would be a good idea... a bookshop near my office used to run some and I was going to join the women’s one (and try to drag my sister) - so a group for women, but it changed to a ‘female’ one, and the topic of the books changed to more social politics and open to all (and it closed completely soon after that).

I don't think people realise how much effort it takes to make friends and keep them. I returned from living abroad as a teenager with no friends. My close family remained living abroad so I didn't even have them. My school friends were in a different country. I had to build my friends from scratch.

Over twenty years later I now have loads of friends. Several large groups and a lot of individual people I've collected from workplaces, through kids, through old boyfriends, college courses.

I've always made an effort to meet up, ask them how they are, remember special birthdays etc. I put time into being a good friend.

I would say I still don't have a best friend but I'm not really that sort of person. I prefer different company for different occasions, walking, dancing, going for cocktails etc.

You just have to realise that sometimes you have to make the first move. It's usually me who organises 80% of the social meetings but I don't mind as people jump at the chance once you ask them normally. If people say no then I don't take it personally, I just move on.

It's not so much I have no friends, just none who live close by. There's a few mums of DDs friends who I chat with but wouldn't really see them as good friends I could call and organise a trip out with.

It doesn't really bother me TBH.

I think it’s really common. I’ve always had friends until recently. Had a couple of best friends throughout school but drifted after leaving schools and going in different directions. Had two best friends from the age of 20 until mid 30’s when my marriage ended and one friend basically just dropped me. I wasn’t allowed to go to her house because her and her husband were best friends with my ex and took his side. My other best friend had a 3 year affair and when her husband found out she told him she had managed the affair because I covered for her. I knew nothing about the affair! But she had told her husband she was with me when she had been with the other man. In order to save her marriage she accepted her husbands ultimatum that should couldn’t be friends with me anymore.

Even my NCT group have all moved away, literally all of them.

Now I seem to have acquaintances.

Just to clarify when i say I knew nothing about the affair, I knew my friend and the other man were friends and went for coffee but that was it.

@LudoBear I'm the same. Feel free to PM me if you ever want a chat

@toffeebutterpopcorn Bournemouth!

@toffeebutterpopcorn London!

@toffeebutterpopcorn Dublin Ireland

@toffeebutterpopcorn Worcestershire

@toffeebutterpopcorn The far north

West Yorkshire.

I have a small hand of a few close friends but getting to meet for a catch up is near impossible. I feel isolated most of the time.

I do a weekly wellness message ‘how are you this week?’ To my three main close friends but whether it’s a conversation or nothing is usually up to them.

I don’t think my phone would be going off at all if it wasn’t for me sending that message, it does make me wonder. People are just ‘too busy’ and too caught up in life for anything much outside. I’d kill for a glass of wine in a bar one evening with someone other than my partner (as much as I adore him!!) tbh.

@SpacePotato

Could mumsnet set up a section for people to arrange meet ups in local areas?

There already is. In Mumsnet stuff, meet-ups, but it gets no traffic.

I didn’t know this. Thanks I will look.

I’m West Yorkshire too. I have a couple of best friends I’m really grateful for. I also have one other friend but that’s it really.

I went right through my 30's with no friends, I worked full time and was a single mum. The south east town I lived in wasn't friendly. It was hard to meet people.
In my 40's I couldn't live like that anymore so I joined lots of interest clubs and started making friends, then moved to the west country and made a ton of friends.
I have a really good group now but the big thing is you have to make it happen, they won't come to you.
Star with online groups and aim to meet up when covid is over.
My friendless era was pre-facebook, it's so much easier with social media.

Friends are overrated.

Someone once said to me that he always thought he was so popular amongst his peer group. Turned out it was his ability to fix cars for free that was the real reason. As soon as his health meant he couldn’t do it anymore all the ‘mates’ floated away.