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Intrusive thoughts

560 replies

Mumtotwoxo · 03/03/2021 12:43

I have just had a baby 10 weeks ago. I was doing well apart from small panic attacks from my anxiety that I’ve suffered with for years. The other day out the blue I started having intense panic attacks where I can’t sleep and intrusive thoughts that are extremely scary and real. I feel like a bad mum. Has anyone suffered this too? Reached out to my gp and now referred to a MH nurse.

OP posts:
TheLumpySofaCushion · 10/03/2021 21:15

Hope you have a good night, @Mumtotwoxo xxxx

CorianderBee · 11/03/2021 07:58

Just remember OP. Not all our thoughts are 'true' even if they're in our own voice. They're not a reflection of our desires... and our own thoughts can lie to us. That was important for me to find out - I relabelled the intrusive thoughts as 'the gremlin' not me. That made it easier to tell it to fuck off and stop being annoying.

Mumtotwoxo · 11/03/2021 08:47

@TheLumpySofaCushion thank you, it's the fear of waking up and having them come yet again. It's truly disheartening x

OP posts:

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Mumtotwoxo · 11/03/2021 08:47

@CorianderBee did you suffer from this? I'm trying to hard to let them come and go but they just keep getting stuck and I'm focused on them because of how horrifying they are x

OP posts:
TheLumpySofaCushion · 11/03/2021 09:09

@HaHaVeryBunny

https://www.theguardian.com/society/2013/aug/31/pure-ocd-the-naked-truth this might help you understand it a bit more. It is particularly common in women who have given birth. Take care Flowers
Morning @Mumtotwoxo,

Good to see you :-)

I've just read back from the start of the post; oh, how I wish I'd seen the article that @HaHaVeryBunny shared when I was going through your situation - and to be honest, even before, when I was growing up.

Did you read it too?

Gilead · 11/03/2021 09:12

@Mumtotwoxo, they are horrifying and that’s precisely why they stick. Even if you manage to tell every tenth thought to piss off it will help. It’s just shitty thoughts and they will go.

Mumtotwoxo · 11/03/2021 10:27

@TheLumpySofaCushion good morning! no I haven't read it. Does it relate to my situation? X

OP posts:
Mumtotwoxo · 11/03/2021 10:28

@Gilead I have waves of feeling ok but I'm still constantly thinking when the next thought is going to come and I'm avoiding my baby at all costs incase the thoughts appear, but I'm tryjng to build this back up whilst my mother is here x

OP posts:
TheLumpySofaCushion · 11/03/2021 10:36

I think the link @HaHaVeryBunny shared is amazing, OP - it relates to a normal person having hideous thoughts and how it crippled them, how they kept quiet because they felt they must be an awful person, how it affected their life, and how they finally got the right help and now are experiencing the light & joy that a person free of intrusive thoughts can feel.

I wish I read it years and years ago.

Mumtotwoxo · 11/03/2021 10:42

@TheLumpySofaCushion I'll give it a read. I'm stuck in a rut scared to do anything in relation to my baby incase it triggers, forcing my mind to believe I won't and don't want to cause harm x

OP posts:
TheLumpySofaCushion · 11/03/2021 10:51

It's a hideous situation and I really feel for you.
Read the article and let us know what you think.

Mumtotwoxo · 11/03/2021 13:29

I felt ok this morning so came out a walk and the panic and thoughts have became so intense. I wish this could go away Sad

OP posts:
TheLumpySofaCushion · 11/03/2021 13:48

That's great that you felt okay this morning. Very good news indeed.

You will find that the thoughts come over you in waves (called 'Spikes'). You need to continue to repeat to yourself "it's not me, its the OCD'.

Tell it to fuck off if need be.

Read this and see if it feels like what you are experiencing:

Pure Obsessional OCD (Pure-O) is a type of Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) in which an individual reports experiencing obsessions without outwardly observable compulsions.

Pure-O obsessions often manifest as intrusive, unwanted, inappropriate thoughts, impulses or “mental images.” The compulsions for Pure-O mainly exist in the form of mental rumination and reassurance seeking. Intrusive thoughts and images tend to coalesce around specific themes including: safety and harm thoughts about self and others, worries about sexual orientation (Sexual Orientation OCD or Homosexuality OCD), worries about relationship decisions (ROCD), fears of doing something illegal, pedophilia (POCD), over-concern for honesty or religious purity, or existential fears.

It is important to distinguish Pure-O from a singular fleeting thought. All humans experience unwanted thoughts. However, non-clinical persons, or those who do not have OCD, are able to easily dismiss the thoughts as uncomfortable, weird, or just something their brain does. What distinguishes Pure-O from a fleeting unwanted thought is the anxiety that becomes affixed to these thoughts which then creates a significant amount of distress to the sufferer.

Pure-O sufferers often report that their thoughts make them incredibly anxious and they can’t get them out of their head. Thus, what ignites the symptoms of Pure-O is not the experience of intrusive thoughts but actually one’s reaction to them. The more one dislikes experiencing the intrusive thoughts and tries to repress, control, or fight the thoughts, the greater the frequency of intrusive thoughts one will experience. It is the very act of trying to not to have a bothersome thought that guarantees its resurfacing.

Pure-O is rooted in the faulty assumption that humans have control over their thoughts, which we do not. The human brain has evolved to be constantly spinning around, trying to find interesting problems to solve, and to search for threats to our safety or existence. The brain is particularly interested in thoughts that contain uncertainty.

When a Pure-O sufferer’s brain lands on a thought or question that is unacceptable to the person having the thought, the fear network of the brain is alerted that something is wrong and needs to be done about it IMMEDIATELY. This fight or flight experience is what causes the sufferer a great deal of distress.

Many people with Pure-O may also experience comorbidity with features of perfectionism. Pure-O sufferers tend to maintain a high overall standard for what their brain “should” be thinking and the level of control one should have over their thoughts. Individuals living with Pure-O will commonly make assumptions including, “I shouldn’t be thinking this,” “These thoughts are wrong or bad,” or “I should be able to control my thoughts.”

They spend time analyzing why they are having these thoughts and what the thoughts say about them as a person. For many sufferers of Pure-O, failing to meet this standard of control over their own brain will lead them to conclude that they are a bad person or a monster, and they are not.

Mumtotwoxo · 11/03/2021 14:36

@TheLumpySofaCushion that is exactly what I'm experiencing. I brought this up to my MH nurses and they said that it isn't likely this is what I have and that it's more likely to me PND x

OP posts:
catherineofarrogance80 · 11/03/2021 16:52

[quote Mumtotwoxo]@catherineofarrogance80 thanks for your support. What did you suffer from was it intrusive thoughts about yourself and the kids? X[/quote]
Started out thinking that my son would die in the night and get chucked out with the rubbish. I just couldn't stop this thought. Then out on walks I could just see myself pushing the pram in the road. There would be times driving along I had this compulsive urge to veer in front of a lorry

TheLumpySofaCushion · 11/03/2021 17:01

Ah, @catherineofarrogance80. I'm so, so sorry that you've experienced it too.

I so wish I'd had MumsNet at the time to see that I wasn't alone.

TheLumpySofaCushion · 11/03/2021 17:03

[quote Mumtotwoxo]@TheLumpySofaCushion that is exactly what I'm experiencing. I brought this up to my MH nurses and they said that it isn't likely this is what I have and that it's more likely to me PND x[/quote]
In my situation, @Mumtotwoxo, I think was I was experiencing was extreme anxiety - resulting in Pure-O - and NOT post natal depression.

I imagine there's many intersections of PND and Anxiety, and of course, no doubt, pregnancy & hormones escalate the symptoms.

How does it make you feel to read the material and know you're not mad or alone?

Mumtotwoxo · 11/03/2021 17:35

@TheLumpySofaCushion it makes me feel a little more at ease knowing I'm not the only one to be suffering this horrible illness.
Did you have to give bloods during your experience? X

OP posts:
TheLumpySofaCushion · 11/03/2021 17:38

No, no bloods.

What have you been asked regard bloods?

BCBG · 11/03/2021 17:45

Hi @Mumtotwoxo - just checking in. Glad you felt well enough to go out for a walk - don't worry that you then felt crap because that doesn't diminish the fact you had a moment of near normality. @TheLumpySofaCushion has described the OCD I had (wasn't called pure-O then but is perfect description) and you can see that you are very far from being alone and we survived it and so will you! I have deliberately refrained from telling you my own intrusive thoughts especially re baby as I worry that they could then stick with you, but a PP has described some of them very well.

Re blood tests, they may check to see if your thyroid levels are normal post birth, as this can trigger anxiety patterns when hormones fluctuate, but it's a standard screen so try not to worry.

Keep on talking and we are all here x

TheLumpySofaCushion · 11/03/2021 17:55

Ah, @BCBG - go glad you are doing well.

You're absolutely right, too... you are so susceptible during this illness that if someone mentions "I had XYZ thoughts", you are likely to take those on, too.

Mumtotwoxo · 11/03/2021 19:02

@BCBG I'm triggered so easily by every type of thought. Every little noise is going for my nerves. I'm trying so hard to stop the sick thoughts but I just can't seem to focus on anything else. I wish I could see a light to this all x

OP posts:
Mumtotwoxo · 11/03/2021 19:03

@TheLumpySofaCushion watching tv, rethinking about old stories of other people taking their lives etc are so real it triggers me so bad. Wish I could get out this nightmare x

OP posts:
Mumtotwoxo · 11/03/2021 19:13

@Blackopal sorry to bother you - did you feel an instant relief reading your book or did it take you a couple of times to read it to take it all in? Thanks again for the advice x

OP posts:
TheLumpySofaCushion · 11/03/2021 19:14

@Mumtotwoxo

So sorry for you. It will pass.

It's shit, totally shit. Like me, you have a history of anxiety & panic attacks. Once this intense, hideous episode is over and done with, you will find your life is so, so much better.

Do you have a partner?

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