Intrusive thoughts

[Mumtotwoxo]

I have just had a baby 10 weeks ago. I was doing well apart from small panic attacks from my anxiety that I’ve suffered with for years. The other day out the blue I started having intense panic attacks where I can’t sleep and intrusive thoughts that are extremely scary and real. I feel like a bad mum. Has anyone suffered this too? Reached out to my gp and now referred to a MH nurse.

@thelumpysofacushion That's really kind, thank you x

@Blackopal thank you so much. That brought such light to me for a split moment there. I know truly deep down I don't want to have or act on these thoughts but with them being stuck you begin to believe you do. You are so very kind for those words and I can't thank you enough for responding to this thread. This thread has made me see an open door and that there is hope I'll get better, maybe not tomorrow but I hope one day I can help someone the way everyone on this thread is helping me. X

@Blackopal also - I've heard beta blockers are good but I've not been offered any other medication apart from my 20mg fluxotine (hoping it'll make a difference) x

@TheLumpySofaCushion did you feel it took a while to take effect on your symptoms or did it work quite quickly? X

Great post @Blackopal!
Yes so much to the lack of sleep! I am a natural sleeper- I need 8 hours in a row or I’m a mess! Paranoid, foggy thinking, clumsy. So early motherhood the first time round was a blur of supreme messiness!! But I was overwhelmed with love for my wee one as well. And I knew what I was getting myself into for the second. Strangely it wasn’t nearly so bad with the second child.

@Mumtotwoxo she is ok now but has done a huge amount of reflecting since having her child and we both try and take care of our mental health with exercise and time alone when possible. She didn’t have much support at the time. We live far apart and our mum is a bit mad and doesn’t really help with anxiety!
My sister’s happy place is listening to podcasts while knitting, mine is podcasts while gardening!

Thank you, really kind of you to say that mumtotwoxo.

I am glad mine and all the everyone else posting gives you hope, you will recover and yes I can imagine you helping people with your experience.

Being reminded by all the pp that this is a common experience helps me too.

Again, you have been brave enough to post. There may be people suffering this in silence, who are reading and getting comfort from your thread.

Beta blockers are good for blocking the adrenaline so your body does not panic in reaction to the thoughts.
They work within an hour so you get some relief quickly. They do not help with your mind but I found they helped me sleep. Sleep gives space to see the situation more rationally and to react more calmly to the thoughts.

@Blackopal is so right, @Mumtotwoxo. You are so, so strong to have started this post, to have asked your GP for help, to be seeking support of the mental health team.

Bloody well done - you are a flippin superstar. You are a great mum to your child and your baby. I locked myself away for ages, terrified to tell anyone. You are a HERO.

many, many women will read this post and it will be helping them.

Well done. You are not well and you are dealing with it ❤️

Oh @Mumtotwoxo - I remembered I did also take only half my Zopiclone after a few days - half to get to sleep, and half to get back to sleep once I woke up.

@TheLumpySofaCushion @Blackopal thank you ladies ❤️ the visions feel so real, I wish my brain would stop sticking like this and pass by x

Update - I'm getting bloods taken today to check thyroid etc and also a pelvis examination as there is some signs of possible infection. Could any of this account for why I'm suffering mentally? X

@Mumtotwoxo thyroid definitely could affect your mental well-being, I’m sure an infection wouldn’t help! Good luck x

Morning, Mumtotwoxo.

How did you sleep last night?

@TheLumpySofaCushion not great. Zopiclone isn't taking effect now and I'm waking full of fear of suicidal thoughts etc x

Sorry to hear that, Mum. Its not a long term solution unfortunately, although so lovely at the start.

Keep doing what you're doing. Focus on the times that go well. When you have your next mental health visit, ask when they expect the Fluxoetine to have started making a difference, and if the does can be upped if it hasn't.

@TheLumpySofaCushion I had a phonecall with the doctor this morning and he's prescribed beta blockers but no mention of increasing my fluxotine yet. Hoping in a week they can look again. I managed to get myself to hospital for bloods and MH app then went to morrisons so I am tryjng. It's just scary waiting for the triggers x

It's great to have support threads like this.. I know someone who has struggled alone with this.

@Thehouseofmarvels that's awful. How long have they been struggling in silence? X

Hiya @Mumtotwoxo - how are you? Is your Mum still with you?

Since their twenties. It's my partner. When I say alone he has had professional mental health support but was unable to discuss it with friends as he was embarrassed and could not discuss with family as they are horrific and the cause of it basically. Did not have much in the way of good relationships so no support there. Will try to talk to him about things mentioned on here at some point so he feels less alone. He tried a support group for pure ocd but struggled as nobody was remotely as bad as him which made him feel alone still.

@Thehouseofmarvels

I'm so sorry to jeer anti your partner.
That's so awful for him.

There is a link to a piece in the Guardian on page 1 of this thread. That piece is an article by a young woman who started having intrusive thoughts as a teenager.
It's very explicit and might help him feel less alone?

Good morning @Mumtotwoxo (and all on this thread).

How are you today? We are here for you x

Been thinking about you as well, @Mumtotwoxo. Hope your appointment went well.

@thelumpysofacushion thanks, I'll have a look for the article. Someone mentioned PTSD which is useful as we recently found out about complex ptsd and he is trying to get a diagnosis. He is now completely estranged from his close family. His mother falls out with everyone so he has some extended family he either has never met or not seen since a child. I found one person online and he has reached out to them. He has told them about the PTSD stuff and they are very kind and have basically made it clear to me they want to be someone he can turn to if hes having a tough time. They are close to another extended family member and are encouraging him to get in touch with that person. The hope is that eventually he will have extended family he can talk to about intrusive thoughts.

Your partner sounds like he's had such a tough time, OP. How lovely that he's got a supportive, loving partner.

What do you hope your partner would get from talking to extended family about his intrusive thoughts?