Things you do that your Mother doesn't approve of/thinks are unladylike

[noirchatsdeux]

Lighthearted!

My mother thinks it's terrible that I drink beer. Ladies don't drink beer. I'm 52 and she still pouts when she knows I've had some!

Any other unladylike ladies on here?

Wear jeans
Wear jeans on a Sunday (one of the worst crimes)
Wear shoes with laces (trainers, walking boots) - only discovered this one yesterday
Not dress up and put make up on for dh coming home from work (irrelevant anyway as he’s always here)
Question advice from doctors or solicitors or any professional
Eat crisps

The definition of knackered is sexually exhausted, hence why some mothers are pearl clutching
My DFs family are extremely misogynistic (although weirdly DF isn't). Giving birth vaginally is discusting, one must request a c/s because it is most unlady like to push a baby out of your "lady parts". What about the poor men that have to witness that, will no one stop to think of them? The same with BF, not lady like for a child to be "hanging off them" (you can't actually mention the word breast, that isn't for ladies either) when they are actually for the men folk to oogle and enjoy.

Wearing anklets or toe rings are for 'certain' ladies, respectable ladies shouldn't wear them.

That was one of my late mother's beliefs.

Along with wearing trousers being unlady like, also eating in the street, driving, ladies are allowed to drive just not as well as men can.

I've been a great disappointment.

I'm not sure it's that it's unladylike, she just doesn't like my tattoos and piercings, although she thinks dhs tattoos are a work of art... so maybe it is unladylike in her book.

No longer have my mum, unfortunately, but I DO have an older sister...
Tattoos, drinking from a beer bottle, having sex just for the pleasure, not wearing tights with skirts or dresses, smoking in the street, not wearing a minimum of makeup. I could go on, but won't bother. Love her to bits though...

My sense of humour is apparently "like a man" I dont think it's any different to any other woman I know!

@AuntieMarys

Eating baked beans. They are common apparently

🤣🤣 what?? That's bonkers!

@GoLightlyontheEarth

I’m really surprised at the number of mothers objecting to breastfeeding. What possible objection could they have?

My mum did not like it at all. She was quite horrified that I did. Apparently the royal family bottle feed???!!! She definitely thinks that if you can afford formula you should bottle feed. I was never given a drop of Breastmilk by my mother

Breastfeeding back in the day was possibly a class indicator, as those who could afford formula were wealthy, which is further wrapped up in breasts belonging to husband's, only to be brought out in the bedroom.

Whereas these days, breastfeeding is seen as an aspirational middle class marker. Weird.

agree it appears to have totally gone the other way.

Not becoming famous and well travelled, with a high flying job, so that she could boast to everyone about me.
Not buying the house next door, marrying the boy next door, and having lots of children in order to spend all day every day with her,

Not hiding my figure under oversized clothes (even when I was 7 stone).
Not wearing a 50s style dress to family weddings. In fact not growing up in the 1950s like she did and having all the same experiences as she had.

@user143677433

Excelling in my profession.

Her greatest wish for me was that I might be a PA to someone important. Instead I am the “someone important”. It’s deeply disappointing and distressing to her. She lies to friends and family to downplay my job

I genuinely thought I was the only person to disappoint my mother in this way. My mother has a slim margin of acceptable type jobs for me. For years, she would pout and wail that they had put me through all those years of education, just to end up being "a boring office worker like everybody else". When she eventually realised exactly what my job entails, she started pouting and wailing the other way - I'm "doing a man's job" which is mortifying for her, I'm too career focused and should be ashamed of myself, taking up that nice corner office. Exactly like the PP, my mother has said that she wants to be able to boast about me working for someone important but she can't do that and I've therefore let her down. Every so often she sends me job adverts for posts that "would be really good for me" and when meeting her friends, she often hisses at me to not talk about my real work and tell them I'm a PA to a man.

I also drink beer and am fat (the two might be connected) which are both deeply unladylike and a source of huge shame for my mother.

My mother didn't approve of me working after having my kids. Apparently mums should stay at home and claim benefits cause that's their job. She did it and encouraged my sister to do the same. Apart from maternity leave I've always worked, mainly part time with as much overtime as possible. She hated it.

(Not saying mums at home on benefits is wrong incase anyone picks up on that....I just like working and have been lucky to find jobs that fit in around kids)

Where do I start...
Not having a nanny/ live in help as befitting my DH "position in society". I'm a SAHM

Breastfeeding -it's lower class and hipppyish

Not wearing a nice frock or skirt and blouse- I love maxi dresses/skirts/jeans

Exercising apart from a walk -yoga pants & leggings is equated to an occasion of sin

Ethnic food -see hippy

Allowing DC to have a voice- should be seen and not heard

Not voting Tory

Speaking in a volume that's comfortably heard you almost have to whisper

Shop bought bread/cakes

Discussing any purchases with DH. Apparently, it's his money and I should ask permission to spend anything on myself

Jewellery that's not diamond/pearls

I have a weird one... Whistling.
Especially in public. It's unfeminine and disgusting
She also strongly disapproves of tinned peas, carrots and the like.
White shoes are for prostitutes in her book.
Tattoos and piercings are "ghastly" and I hid my nose piercing for years and years!

Wearing an anklet especially under sheer tights.
Not voting Tory.
Enjoying curry.
Never use a public toilet which is a bit of a problem with the size of my bladder.

@Clevs and @Untradwife mine also not happy I nursed both mine till they were 2 (even though I went back to work at 6 months each time). She frequently makes approving comments about SIL mixed feeding from birth and going onto bottles at 12 weeks (which is also totally fine, no judgement here!) because she says sniffily "we can ACTUALLY HELP, not like you with the whole" As if feeding a baby is the only help new parents need!

Other things judged:

• being fat (anything larger than size 10 is fat)
• not being prime minister(?!)
• not earning enough money to fly business class
• wearing pastels
• skinny jeans
• not dying my hair (I have balayage, this is apparently not good enough as not every grey is covered)
• feeding the kids any carbs at all
• letting my kids have screen time (she is the worst offender and hands them her ipad constantly)

It's all projection...

My piercings
My tattoos
The fact that I have no desire to be a mother or any type of caregiver
That I never wear skirts
That I don't use handbags.
That I've never had a perm.

I am a massive disappointment to my mother.

@nestlestealswater agree, my mum saw bf beyond 6 weeks as unnecessary nutritionally/health wise I had to show her info as to why it was best to aim for at least a year for mum and baby (sadly I only managed 9+ months as milk dried due to a medical condition that really annoyed me)

Sister bf for years with hers which really flummoxed her!

It was just totally against what she had been taught was healthy which we now know to be incorrect

@rabbitholes we had the opposite, dad being army and family being in glasgow we had many long journeys "home" and as we got near to end we'd be sent into loos on trains and coaches or stop at service stations only a few miles from destination to brush hair and generally tidy ourselves up. This sometimes included a change of clothes if we were too rumpled or had spilled!

Drs as gods - ✔️ the harm that ones done over the years!

@SagelyNodding my mum disapproves of whistling too and often says “a whistling woman and a crowing hen are neither good for God nor men”!

Also on the banned list with me were drinking pints; drinking beer in general; eating generous portions; speaking loudly; laughing loudly; wearing wellies or any boot smacking of clumsiness; driving a truck; going running (sweaty!); and weight training back in the day.

There was another list of what was “common” which was not gender-specific...

Swear.

My mum sounds great after reading this thread.

Considering she's 80 and that she is fairly conservative and worried about people's opinions, she is in many respects quite the feminist.

However, I know my mum would be shocked if she heard how much I swear at home and around DS, which is not a lot.
And she would disapprove if I got tatoos or piercings. Lucky that I'm not interested in it.

My mum is amazing but she is generally horrified by any kind of public disagreement/debate/complaint, especially if it involves disagreeing/debating with shop assistants/retail or cafe staff. (She thinks they're all saints - I've never known anyone put as much faith in the style advice of bored teenagers staffing the M&S changing rooms.)

She is unfailingly polite and is mortified if she perceives me to not be so, even though our perceptions of politeness aren't quite the same 😁

I once told a lady on the M&S checkouts that she had no obligation to smile when a bloke in the queue said "cheer up love", and she nearly died of embarrassment (my mum, not the M&S lady).

@celiacanth

"Wearing wellies or any boot smacking of clumsiness" 🤣