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Original poster

What could he possibly need them for

161 replies

skyisthelimit1 · 01/03/2021 12:57

Few weeks ago I asked my DH of 12 years to leave. He's been abusive and controlling and I couldn't take it anymore.

Last week he came to the house to see the kids and before he left he asked for the kids passport he said he needs to take copies of them incase I lose the passports and I end up need the passport number. I said to him I won't and if I do I'll just report them lost. anyways after arguing with him I decided to let him take copies.

Now I'm worried, what can he do with the copies? He also has copy of my passport in his phone.

OP posts:
oakleaffy · 01/03/2021 15:29

@skyisthelimit1
Please don’t let your kids out of your sight.
Warn the school or nursery in case he says he is collecting them on your behalf.
If they are kidnapped, possession is 9/10ths f the law in Middle East.
Be very vigilant and on your mettle.

muddyford · 01/03/2021 15:30

Your children need to be made Wards of Court asap. It means the High Court are the ultimate guardians of your children and they cannot be removed from the country. Ring your lawyer's office and don't get put off. Ring another lawyer if they faff about.

Clusters29 · 01/03/2021 15:31

I have no experience with this people, but they came up first when I googled. www.slatergordon.co.uk/family-law/childrens-law/child-abduction-solicitors/

I would keep calling solicitors until you get someone who can speak to you today. And this is the govt advice: www.gov.uk/government/publications/international-parental-child-abduction/international-parental-child-abduction

CustardySergeant · 01/03/2021 15:34

@TheHobbitMum

OP I wouldn't waste anymore time in reporting the passports lost, do it now
Why? She's got the passports he only took photocopies.
TheSpottedZebra · 01/03/2021 15:35

Have you got a civil/legal marriage too, or just a Nikkah?

Heyahun · 01/03/2021 15:35

Keep the kids home - don’t send to school or nursery - I work at a nursery and we aren’t allowed to just not give the child to the dad because mum said so! We need something official / an actual reason not release the child to a parent!

So you really need to get this sorted first to be on the safe side

onyourway · 01/03/2021 15:37

[quote babycorn]You can get a caveat put on your children's passports, so that if they are reported as lost in order to apply for new ones, you are alerted.

www.gov.uk/stop-child-passport[/quote]
Can you do this right away?

SchadenfreudePersonified · 01/03/2021 15:45

@BerryPieandCustard

Please report all of their passports lost and get new ones. The fact that you are both from the Middle East sets off massive alarm bells for me. If he did take your kids to the Middle East you stand very little chance of getting them back
I would do this, too - and don't let him have access to the new ones.
ShadierThanaPalmTree · 01/03/2021 15:47

I doubt that the passport office would be able to tell you if they have been reported lost. While it seems unlikely that your ex-husband is up to anything sinister, I can completely understand why you are feeling the way you are, it's unnerving to say the least, and I certainly wouldn't want to risk it if I were in your position.

I agree with PPs, report them as lost yourself. Maybe contact the passport office to make them aware of the situation and see what advice they can give you.

babycorn · 01/03/2021 15:50

@ShadierThanaPalmTree this is where the caveat comes in. If there is one on a passport, if that passport is reported lost in order by someone else to try and obtain new passports, they alert you immediately so you can take action. I've got one on my daughter's passport.

Chanandlerbong01 · 01/03/2021 15:50

I work at a nursery and we aren’t allowed to just not give the child to the dad because mum said so! We need something official / an actual reason not release the child to a parent!

I work at a school and we consider abduction an actual reason. If they live with Mum then we would only release to her if that is what is requested.

ProfessorSlocombe · 01/03/2021 15:53

Balance of probabilities is that he has taken copies of the passports in order to be able to legitimately apply for passports from his own country in the childrens names (it's highly likely a condition of his applying for them that all other passports are declared).

There is nothing the OP can do to prevent this.

YoniAndGuy · 01/03/2021 16:01

@ProfessorSlocombe

Balance of probabilities is that he has taken copies of the passports in order to be able to legitimately apply for passports from his own country in the childrens names (it's highly likely a condition of his applying for them that all other passports are declared).

There is nothing the OP can do to prevent this.

Yes sadly this.

I would get advice very urgently.

doubleshotespresso · 01/03/2021 16:03

OP As above please do not let your children, not for one second out of your sight.
You need o find a solicitor and obtain an emergency Prohibitve Steps Order in the next 48 hours. The potential here is unthinkable. Do not delay.
Wishing you the very best of luck x

Original poster
skyisthelimit1 · 01/03/2021 16:09

I'm not worried about him him taking them from school/nursery. Since he never collected/ dropped off DS from nursery he would need a password and he doesn't know the password. For the older ones I plan to talk to the school about releasing them to anyone other me.

@TheSpottedZebra legally married too.

OP posts:
Incogweeto · 01/03/2021 16:14

I can’t over state how much danger you and your kids are in of being permanently separated, OP.

IntermittentParps · 01/03/2021 16:21

Don't feel stupid, OP, you were under pressure.
But DO make sure you speak to that solicitor asap. And yes, good plan to talk to the school. TBH I'd talk to nursery as well – belt and braces.

DodoApplet · 01/03/2021 16:24

I wouldn't be happy allowing them even to be at school or nursery until I was absolutely 100% certain he couldn't collect them from there in your place. Ask yourself if he could arrange for you to be waylaid on some pretext, and then turning up and insisting that the teacher hand the child over to him because his mother has unfortunately been delayed and has asked him to do the school run instead. If you were a teacher who knew both parents, and the child was obviously perfectly happy to leave with their dad, would you refuse to hand them over? And even if you did, with any number of other parents arriving to collect their kids at the same time, could you physically prevent them from leaving?

ProfessorSlocombe · 01/03/2021 16:25

OP - in the nicest possible way, you seem to be too trusting in other people. Without knowing a lot more it's hard to give anything other than generic advice - as several posters have done. But you really need to stop assuming that everyone will do their jobs correctly, and that the system will work perfectly in your case. Many many years of experience have led me to not only be unsurprised by how badly things can get cocked up, but how complacent the system is when it happens.

If nothing else concentrates your mind, just remember that he only needs to get lucky once and be out of the country with your and his children.

andyoldlabour · 01/03/2021 16:28

OP you are right to be concerned, My DW is from the Middle East and years ago, she told me about one of her relations, who split from his English wife and tried the same trick to take the children back to the Middle East with him. Fortunately it didn't work and the ex wife managed to get a restraining order from seeing any of them.

DavidsSchitt · 01/03/2021 16:30

"I'm not worried about him him taking them from school/nursery. Since he never collected/ dropped off DS from nursery he would need a password and he doesn't know the password. For the older ones I plan to talk to the school about releasing them to anyone other me."

Jesus. It would be so easy for him to collect them. You really need to understand that he could take them and you might never see them again.

You don't seem very worried in all honesty and he won't hang about if that is his plan

JustLyra · 01/03/2021 16:32

@skyisthelimit1

I'm not worried about him him taking them from school/nursery. Since he never collected/ dropped off DS from nursery he would need a password and he doesn't know the password. For the older ones I plan to talk to the school about releasing them to anyone other me.

@TheSpottedZebra legally married too.

If he has PR then the school can't stop him from taking them unless you have a court order stating that you have residency of them.

Many schools will try and stop him, or stall him long enough to call you, but they can't legally stop him. Same with nursery.

You really need to get proper advice today to have things put in place to prevent him leaving the country with the children if he tries.

Enuffisenough · 01/03/2021 16:35
  1. Phone passport office. Report the passports have been compromised and that you fear there is a risk of abduction. They will advise you on the best way to handle an attempt to obtain duplicates. They may advise that you cancel their current passports, or an alternative.
  2. Specialist solicitor. Ringing back tomorrow is no good. Find another one who has time for you. You're potentially going to become good friends with this firm so don't be afraid to get it right! Money spent here at this stage will be money well spent for the future as recovering a child from the Middle East is practically impossible, especially when taken by the father. You are going to need their help to progress things with Social Care and police to obtaining the necessary court protections.
  3. Forget about the fact that he wouldn't know how to parent - he will expect family in ME to do that for him.
  4. Contact nurseries, school, childminder. Explain that they will not be in until this is sorted. Do NOT trust them not to allow him to take the children - he is a parent, they cannot stop him.
  5. Contact Children Social Care and ask to make a safeguarding referral. Tell them your concerns about possibility of him trying to take them from the country.
  6. Report your concerns via 101 to police.
  7. Do NOT mention any of these concerns to him - keep your cards close to your chest.
  8. Change the locks for doors and windows.
  9. Do not allow unsupervised contact until all of the above is done. Speak to Social Care, police and solicitor first and take their advice.
ProfessorSlocombe · 01/03/2021 16:37

Rather than this thread becoming a pile on for the OP, may I suggest to the OP they ask MNHQ to move it to legal ? That may be of more use to the OP now some further details have been supplied.

OP: there are only what can be described as sinister reasons for someone to amass the details you have described, given the situation you have outlined.

ProfessorSlocombe · 01/03/2021 16:38

Enuffisenough has posted some excellent advice.

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