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Original poster

What could he possibly need them for

161 replies

skyisthelimit1 · 01/03/2021 12:57

Few weeks ago I asked my DH of 12 years to leave. He's been abusive and controlling and I couldn't take it anymore.

Last week he came to the house to see the kids and before he left he asked for the kids passport he said he needs to take copies of them incase I lose the passports and I end up need the passport number. I said to him I won't and if I do I'll just report them lost. anyways after arguing with him I decided to let him take copies.

Now I'm worried, what can he do with the copies? He also has copy of my passport in his phone.

OP posts:
HollowTalk · 01/03/2021 14:31

Why do you think he wouldn't turn the house upside down?

I would see a solicitor and I'd ask whether they could be kept there for safekeeping. I'd ask the solicitor to write to the Passport Office to tell them that copies should not be made.

You need to act fast, OP.

Original poster
skyisthelimit1 · 01/03/2021 14:37

My friend did offer to keep the passports in her house but she's away and wanted me to give it to her sister who's looking after the house for her but I didn't feel comfortable so decided to hide them in my house.

He doesn't have a key and I don't think he would force himself to get in the house with the kids around.

OP posts:
Original poster
skyisthelimit1 · 01/03/2021 14:40

Since I asked him to leave, he only came to the house once to take the kids to his mum's house, he hasn't seen them since.

OP posts:
UhtredRagnarson · 01/03/2021 14:42

Have you contacted a solicitor? He could have already applied for new passports. You need to get on the phone right now.

orangenasturtium · 01/03/2021 14:43

My concern would be that he has asked for the photocopies for an application for dual citizenship/passport from the ME country. That will take some weeks so you have (a little) time on your side. Have you checked the relevant rules for dual citizenship for that country to see if your DC would be eligible?

Reunite have excellent guides on preventing abduction and the law. They also have a helpline so you can get advice immediately, if needed.

www.reunite.org/

Derbee · 01/03/2021 14:44

@skyisthelimit1

My friend did offer to keep the passports in her house but she's away and wanted me to give it to her sister who's looking after the house for her but I didn't feel comfortable so decided to hide them in my house.

He doesn't have a key and I don't think he would force himself to get in the house with the kids around.

I don’t think it actually matters where the physical passports are. He has enough information to apply for new passports for the children.

The Middle East rings massive alarm bells, especially if he still has family there. Your children are definitely a flight risk now. You need legal advice, but I’m not sure how much you can do to protect them, if he’s intent on taking them overseas, now that you’ve given him so much vital information. Be very very careful and take practical legal advice

murbblurb · 01/03/2021 14:44

try this, OP :

www.gov.uk/government/publications/international-parental-child-abduction/international-parental-child-abduction

he is planning to take your children abroad and it is possible that you will never see them again. Housebreaking isn't going to bother him too much.

PricklesAndSpikes · 01/03/2021 14:44

Does he have a passport / entitlement to one from his home country? It is a possibility that he is planning on applying for passports for them from that country too. Definitely seek legal advice but it since he is their father, it won't be easy as he could just say he wants to take them on holiday to meet his family if that is his plan. And whether you suspect he might not bring them back is difficult as intent is hard to prove. I am very sorry you are in this tough situation.

babycorn · 01/03/2021 14:45

You can get a caveat put on your children's passports, so that if they are reported as lost in order to apply for new ones, you are alerted.

www.gov.uk/stop-child-passport

Yaya26 · 01/03/2021 14:45

Oh no this is giving me the chills. Act fast - get good legal advice and ensure this is acted on immediately. Take care.

DinosaurDiana · 01/03/2021 14:46

@Yaya26

Oh no this is giving me the chills. Act fast - get good legal advice and ensure this is acted on immediately. Take care.
Me too.
DavidsSchitt · 01/03/2021 14:47

No point getting hung up on where the passports are. He's probably going to report them lost and reapply for new ones or try and get them a passport for whichever Middle Eastern country he's intending to go to with them.

As for him not knowing how to take care of kids, I doubt he's planning on it, rather family members or a nanny

Original poster
skyisthelimit1 · 01/03/2021 14:59

I don't have a solicitor but I rang one and the person I spoke to said to call back tomorrow.

If I were to ring the passport office would they tell me if my DCs passport were reported lost?.

I've been so focused on trying to get him to give me a religious divorce that I didn't think too much about what he could do with them 😩

OP posts:
2bazookas · 01/03/2021 15:03

He may plan to report their passports lost, get new ones, and take the children abroad without your consent.

In your shoes I would contact the passport office, give his name, and make sure no copies are issued.

kunterbunting · 01/03/2021 15:04

@OverweightPidgeon

I wouldn’t let the children out of my sight until this is sorted
Ditto.
TheHobbitMum · 01/03/2021 15:05

OP I wouldn't waste anymore time in reporting the passports lost, do it now

Enko · 01/03/2021 15:07

@Collaborate & @prh47bridge What should the OP do here?

Clusters29 · 01/03/2021 15:10

This might sound dramatic, but having had a friend who was living in the ME have a very bad experience (and they are not nationals, they were just working there) with an abusive husband trying to abduct the children, I would suggest you try to go and stay with someone else or ask another adult to stay with you until you're on more solid ground. And in terms of him getting the children out of the country on ME passports, I have no idea what solid ground would look like, but I bet Reunite can help you. Good luck.

Clusters29 · 01/03/2021 15:13

And as other pp have said, do not let the children out of your sight. Literally. And if they're going to be back at school/childcare, make sure you personally talk to every single person involved so they know that they must absolutely not let him have the children.

Thimbleberries · 01/03/2021 15:18

In fact, if you can, I wouldn't even send them back to school/nursery until you've at least spoken with the passport office and put an alert on and spoken to solicitors. Self-isolate if you have to!

chestnutshell · 01/03/2021 15:18

Oh god, OP. This has sent me cold. So many red flags. You’re doing the right thing in acting fast.

That reunite link is good. It has a number to call for advice if you’re worried your children are at risk of abduction.

I don’t know the logistics of this but I’d be tempted to move in with a very trusted family member so you aren’t on your own if and when he comes knocking. I’d also be watching my children like a hawk.

With the older ones returning to school next week, is there a risk he’ll take them out in the middle of the day? I don’t know what you can do to prevent this but other posters may be able to advise. Reunite may be able to advise too. Sorry I don’t mean to scare you it’s just a thought I had.

Lodging the passports with a bank seems sensible too.

I hope you’re ok and that you’re children are ok too. Flowers

chestnutshell · 01/03/2021 15:20

Ah x-posted with other posters who had the same thought about school and childcare!

C152 · 01/03/2021 15:25

Please get advice as a matter of urgency. Citizens Advice is a starting point, but an expert solicitor should really be your next port of call.

www.citizensadvice.org.uk/family/ending-a-relationship/making-agreements-about-your-children/your-ex-partner-is-taking-your-children-without-consent/

If you think your ex is going to take the kids imminently, you can ask the police to issue a 'port alert'.

Nith · 01/03/2021 15:26

@skyisthelimit1

If I ring the passport office can they not put a note to say not renew the children passport if someone other me reported?
If you do anything by phone, for goodness sake confirm it all in writing, special delivery.
DavidsSchitt · 01/03/2021 15:27

"If I were to ring the passport office would they tell me if my DCs passport were reported lost?.

I've been so focused on trying to get him to give me a religious divorce that I didn't think too much about what he could do with them"

You're asking the wrong people. Ring the passport office

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