What's the best advice you have ever received?

[NoEffingWay]

Mine was from someone who when they found out I had left my ex-h who said that there would be many who would judge me, but that they weren't living my life, and that being in a relationship which made me unhappy and depressed was not worth staying for.
Until that point, all I had heard from people was that I should think about trying harder to stay, and to think about what material goods I would lose (house and car).
Listening to them gave me the strength I needed to remember what was important, and that my feelings were worth more than bricks and mortar.

Just remembered something I think to myself a lot and it’s a bit silly coming from a film but I tone it down to fit the situation.
“Get busy living or get busy dying” and it serves to remind me we are all on the way to dying I suppose it gives me courage it can be used for the big worries but also I’ve used it for the little ones come on get going, try harder etc.

That people care far less than you think. When I had terrible anxiety and panic attacks this really helped me as I was convinced people were talking about me.

Unfortunately this doesn’t apply when you have children. Then you are public property and people care and have more opinions than you think they do. So I’ve learnt that the first is only applicable when you are operating alone.

“Other people’s opinions of you are none of your business” - my therapist told me this and it’s been a game changer.

“You only get out of life what you put into it” - my old headteacher used to say this at the end of assembly every morning, I still think of it often.

@Laila747

I go over this in my head countless times some days.... It’s so very, very true.

Brilliant

Words are cheap. Concentrate on what someone does not what they say.

@cataclysmiclife

Find a job you love and you will never work a day in you life

Yes to this one - I adore my job and don’t feel like I’ve worked for the past 11 years!

every action has a consequence

I really like that. I say it to my eight year old often. His righteous indignation towards the consequence while his actions that caused it has been completely forgotten. It’s useful to remind him what if he hadn’t kicked his brother, his brother wouldn’t have bitten him which caused both of them to sit in a time out and the games console to be confiscated

Don't put yourself down. There's always someone who will do that for you.

The only stupid question is one that isn't asked.

People will remember you from your last mistake.
(not a wholly positive one sorry, but valid words in a place I worked from my old boss)

Also, ignoring the God bit, I am a fan of the serenity prayer:

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
courage to change the things I can,
and wisdom to know the difference.

Never take criticism from someone you wouldn’t ask for advice.

This is my best piece of advice, I share it all the time - stops me getting tied up in countless useless opinions from people whose views I actually don’t value anyway.

What a great post!

Not personal advice but I recall Denzel Wahington making a statement to his on screen brother in the film, American Gangster when he arrived to a party with a multi-coloured suit and bright glasses:
"The loudest person in the room is the weakest person in the room". It screamed at me. For years I felt weak, overlooked and pathetic for being quiet (not necessarily shy but an introvert). I yearned to be louder and have a bigger personality particularly as a teenager when friends and family constantly made me feel there was something inherently wrong with me. I thought louder was 'better'. That one sentence changed me.

Ilovebagpuss
I live by your dm's advice. Sod asking someone to contact you if they need anything (the chances are they will not). Instead, decide to do something practical that will take the weight off of them.

coldbattered
Like you, I avoided doing activities I was not good at after being told others were better than me. I felt I had no right and nobody was interested in mediocrity. It knocked my self esteem in such a big way. Not anymore! After lockdown I intend to take up painting, art, drawing - I am no good at all three but want to do them anyway.

My nephew aged about 5 told me "you can't eat tomato ketchup with chopsticks"

That'll do never does.
If you look down on someone you see the top of their head, remember that they're looking up at an a*hole!

Not my circus, not my monkeys

No is a complete sentence. Thank you Mumsnet!

No decision is still a decision

Be happy with what you’ve got, rather than unhappy about what you don’t have.

I’ve had to remind myself of this a lot this last 12 months.

I love these. I keep meaning to buy a hardback notebook and write snippets of advice in for my children. Reading these has made me place an order for the books and I will make a start.

"......'therapist' and 'the rapist'...just a matter of spacing but the meaning is the same...."
Read in a book, Lifesize, by Jenefer Shute, 1992.

"Focus on what you can control, not what you can't" - said to me when ending a relationship and he was trying to turn anyone and everyone against me.

"If number 1 isn't okay, then number 2, 3 and 4 won't be either" - said by my late best friend.

@BluePeterVag - that is a brilliant idea. I'm going to do one too. Thanks

@babyyodaxmas

No decision is still a decision

God, yes! This one, in spades!

Never go to sleep in an argument

Don't set yourself on fire to keep others warm

From a bottle of bleach:

Keep well away from children.

From my Mum when I was in my teens. "Don't wear high heels thinking you'll look tall. You'll just look like a short person in silly shoes. Better to be a short person in comfortable shoes".
She was so right, both literally (uncomfy shoes are terrible) and metaphorically. It's better to be comfortable with who you are than to pretend to be something you're not.

Never do today what you can put off until tomorrow because tomorrow you might not have to do it.

@Etulosba

Never do today what you can put off until tomorrow because tomorrow you might not have to do it.

This is terrible but true! So many difficult things resolve themselves without you having to do anything. For instance, there is a job for a sporting club due late this week that I have been avoiding, and now there is a tropical cyclone off my coast and the event will be cancelled!