What's the best advice you have ever received?

[NoEffingWay]

Mine was from someone who when they found out I had left my ex-h who said that there would be many who would judge me, but that they weren't living my life, and that being in a relationship which made me unhappy and depressed was not worth staying for.
Until that point, all I had heard from people was that I should think about trying harder to stay, and to think about what material goods I would lose (house and car).
Listening to them gave me the strength I needed to remember what was important, and that my feelings were worth more than bricks and mortar.

@Oversize

If someone on MN says don't Google it, Don't Fucking Google It.

New motherhood is overwhelming. It's ok to be overwhelmed by it, ride it out.

You have two ears one mouth, use them in that proportion.

Mine was from my university tutor who told me to leave the country I was in and continue my education in the UK. I'm in a creative profession and she thought the place we lived was too provincial and limited. I moved. She was so right and I have discovered a world of mind blowing inspiration.

@Notabove25

In a marathon, 20 miles is halfway

I don't get this.

@nessnessness

If you don't know what to do, do nothing. Just wait.

A variant of this: If in doubt, kick it out.

I think it’s a football metaphor but it’s good advice. Often the problem sorts itself out without you doing anything and if it doesn’t the answer usually becomes clear after some time.

My Mum about men: 'It's the quiet ones you've got to watch...'

Hollowtalk, if you don't pace yourself properly in a marathon, you hit the wall at about 20 miles. You need to still be very comfortable at 13m. In terms of effort and pain, the last 6.2 is equivalent to the first 20.

Keep life simple

Look after yourself as nobody else will.

@nessnessness

If you don't know what to do, do nothing. Just wait.

The enemy of procrastination is action. You may do the right thing or the wrong thing but you must do something. The opposite of the quote above!!

My mums mantra "don't let the bastards get you down"

Divisive on here but it works for me:

This too shall pass

Everything in life is temporary. The good and the bad. This mostly helps me with the bad, I have severe ocd and when it's at its very worst and I'm having a panic attack this phrase really helps me get through, reminds me that I've felt like that before AND IT DID NOT LAST - I am not saying it's easy AT ALL but it stops me completely losing it.

But it also refers to the good times, and savouring them. This joy, this happiness, this relief, also won't last forever so enjoy it while you can. As I get older I appreciate this aspect more and more.

A fun phone call from dd, a small achievement in my day, a nice greeting card arriving all mean so much to me with my life so small at the moment

Op similar to yourself as a result of my first breakdown I lost a lot materially speaking - a job, car, house full of "stuff" - before then that would really have upset me but, to quote one of my favourite movies:

"The beautiful part is...I don't give a fuck! That's the upside of having a breakdown!"

So true! Wouldn't wish it on worst enemy, but there is an upside to everything and the upside to that, for me at least I stopped worrying about certain things and I stopped caring about some shit that doesn't matter. (Not all of it unfortunately)

I stopped caring about material possessions as much, they matter nothing if they are at the expense of your health.

I stopped worrying about what people I don't care about thought of me...

Part of my issues was maintaining an image of perfection.

Me, my dd and my home and car were all always perfectly turned out - at least at the start of the day, dd had her own way of challenging that idea bless her!

I was never late for work, an appointment or even an arrangement I'd made with a friend.

I very rarely said no to anything I was asked to do.

I strived to at least appear to be the perfect mother, daughter, sister, friend, employee, tenant... ridiculous!

When the cpn came from the crisis team to assess me and basically had me describe my life to her in my home which she could see was completely and ludicrously spotless given a young child lived there, she made a comment at the end of the assessment basically saying "well no bloody wonder you had a breakdown!" I was operating on 4/5 hours of sleep a night and MAYBE one full meal a day. Totally unsustainable!

The enemy of procrastination is action.

That's a good one though, and one I may use at the moment as I'm experiencing the opposite to back then, when I was constantly on the go firing on adrenaline. Just now I'm struggling to motivate myself and get stuff, even essentials, done!

It's not purely procrastination and laziness, it's also a real fear of overdoing it and going back to the "adrenaline days" and also because I am also physically disabled and pain is very much a part of that and so that's a deterrent too.

So maybe this thread will throw up other motivational gems

Loving the Humorous responses too!

every action has a consequence

and

it's not about you

and finally, happiness in life isn't something you find elsewhere. Look down where your feet are standing and start there.

These were told to me in my very self-absorbed early 20s and they've stuck.

My late Mum always told me,

If all you do today is keep breathing then that is good enough,
If a day is too much then do it hour by hour, is that seems too much then minute by minute.

I've used it all my life, I'm the most independent and resilient person I know and it's because of this advice.
My Mum died when she was 49 but she was a streetwise woman and I'm glad I had her life lessons for 23 years.

Always try your best and be self reliant. No excuses and don’t blame others or anything else as only you yourself can control your body and soul. You shape your environment as the environment does not shape you.

Don't take it personally. Most of what people project on to you is about them and their story, has very little to do with you. Found this very liberating!

"Only a fool breaks the two second rule."

Never take criticism from someone you wouldn’t ask for advice.

Be kind to your siblings they will be with you long after I am gone. My Mum said this to me several times when I was growing up usually after I had fallen out with one of my sisters. She said it to them at times too. Now Mum is gone but we all remember and remain very close and know no matter what we are there for each other. We never have to feel alone.

My Dad told me no matter how much I loved a man always keep a little bit back for myself. When my Exh cheated on me I realised Dad knew he was going to do that to me one day.

Never forget where you came from.

My dad. He never has and is a wonderful man because of it.

Whatever your child is doing, it’s just a phase. Never get too smug or despair too much.

@BluePeterVag I love that! Thank you.

Don't cross oceans for someone who wouldn't jump over puddles for you

I go over this in my head countless times some days....
It’s so very, very true.