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Original poster

It's time to teach DH a lesson WWYD

116 replies

Gcnq · 24/02/2021 19:58

OK
Background: it's a pandemic and we've been stuck with only each other and DS for company for about a year (neither of us critical workers and DH is clinically vulnerable so REALLY cautious). We don't actually hate each other but as you can imagine there's been endless nit-picking, complaining over nothing, irritation on both sides.

So, DH has been consistently complaining about whatever meals I cook. This is lunch and dinner every single day (thankfully he fixes his and DS breakfast every day). Yknow, it's too much, it's not enough, it's too whatever, it's not whatever enough...

I'm done basically.

He finally went too far in a discussion about healthy food groups with DS, part of DS home-learning assignment, he says

"Bought oven chips are healthier and better than the chips mummy makes"

Let me get this clear. In making chips I basically slice up a normal potato into chips, put about 1 teaspoon of olive oil on a baking tray, do a sort of pick up and drop motion with the sliced potato so it's all coated enough to brown nicely when cooking.

He's basically insulted my cooking for the last time.

I'm thinking of just serving up sliced cucumber and carrot for him tomorrow night? Maybe a whole week? What would you do?

OP posts:
MessAllOver · 24/02/2021 22:20

but is doesn't satisfy my desire for revenge

Revenge is a dish best served cold. Sneak his plate into the fridge for five minutes before you call him and DS for dinner so his food is lukewarm when he arrives.

Original poster
Gcnq · 24/02/2021 22:23

He is perfectly capable of cooking.

I think I'm leaning towards saying something like

"Ok you obviously can't stand my cooking I can't cook you eggs, chips, spaghetti, make a sandwich, anything, without you complaining, so it's time you take on cooking for three days a week"
I will say that tomorrow morning and he can start tomorrow.

If he objects to THAT, I'll just dump a load of uncut raw veg on his plate

OP posts:
Original poster
Gcnq · 24/02/2021 22:23

@MessAllOver

but is doesn't satisfy my desire for revenge

Revenge is a dish best served cold. Sneak his plate into the fridge for five minutes before you call him and DS for dinner so his food is lukewarm when he arrives.

😂Hahaha
OP posts:

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Families General education General food
MummytoCSJH · 24/02/2021 22:26

It's a weird dig to make because it's so obviously not true though?! How odd. YANBU to get your revenge Grin

HalzTangz · 24/02/2021 22:32

@Gcnq

Yes a lot of "Stop cooking for him" replies That's what I was thinking too! But if you understand that will sort of mess up our "routine" if DH has to cook for himself alone later on, he can't to DS bedtime story sort of thing, and it's double mess in the kitchen

But I am seriously considering it.

Create a new route, day 1 you cook, day 2 he cooks, if he critisizes your food, critiersize his. If he brings up the critism tell him you are just doing what he does. He will soon get the message
Shrivelled · 24/02/2021 22:53

Something straight out of a tin then microwaved. Same every day.

PickAChew · 24/02/2021 22:57

@Gcnq

He is perfectly capable of cooking.

I think I'm leaning towards saying something like

"Ok you obviously can't stand my cooking I can't cook you eggs, chips, spaghetti, make a sandwich, anything, without you complaining, so it's time you take on cooking for three days a week"
I will say that tomorrow morning and he can start tomorrow.

If he objects to THAT, I'll just dump a load of uncut raw veg on his plate

Or boiled potatoes. Unadorned. (fits in with current thread)
RJnomore1 · 24/02/2021 23:03

Why the duck so people put up with this?

See that carrot? It’s not the plate id suggest you shove it...

No one who repeatedly treats someone they are supppsed to love ( or anything booody human for that matter) in this belittling way, especially after being told it’s upsetting, is any way shape or form a nice person .

FlamedToACrisp · 24/02/2021 23:22

@Wroxie

Not that it matters but he's factually wrong - oven chips are pre-fried and have as much oil as any you'd get from a fast food establishment. Yours sound lovely, I do mine the same way with a bit of garlic salt and rosemary.

I'd do what I did with an awful housemate years ago - when I wanted to use the kitchen, I dumped all her dirty shit in a plastic tub I bought at poundland for the purpose, which I then shoved in the corner. I wiped down the bench, prepared my meals with my own dishes and pots, which I then washed nicely, dried, and took up to my room with me, where I also had a minifridge for my own food. I'd do that for myself and my children and leave him to get on with things however he preferred. Or I'd divorce him because I can guarantee that sort of behaviour is the thin end of the wedge.

Yes, OP - divorce your husband because he criticised the way you make chips. That's the obvious solution here, rather than just talking to him, making it clear he's out of line.
evenBetter · 24/02/2021 23:37

How could he possibly pretend that he’s being IN line? Wise up. He doesn’t get to treat his wife with contempt. Full stop, and shouldn’t need this carefully explained to him.

AnotherKrampus · 25/02/2021 02:33

Getting a bit sick of the lockdown and pandemic being used as an excuse for people being shitty to their partner. DH and I have worked together for almost a decade in a creative capacity and been pretty much on top of each other. You just have to have some bloody respect. And I am absolutely aghast at a 19-year-old calling his mother a c**t. If my DC ever did this, they would be asked to leave the house. We are not very authoritarian parents but that would be a line in the sand they would only cross once and would require a lot of contrition for them to stay.

BitOfFun · 25/02/2021 02:45

@Gcnq

What is he doing that keeps him soooooo busy?!

He's an artist 🤦

(^ Emoji trying to express a feeling that as I let this person into my life I should know what to expect)

OMG, my DH is an artist (a bloody good one), and he cooks almost everything AND washes up. He would no more belittle me than fly to the moon.
PussyCatInChristmasStockings · 25/02/2021 07:17

Why don't you serve him only his beloved oven chips, twice a day, every day for a week...seeing as they're the healthy option.
You and your DS get the unhealthy proper food.

I also like this suggestion:
Revenge is a dish best served cold. Sneak his plate into the fridge for five minutes before you call him and DS for dinner so his food is lukewarm when he arrives.

So that's nice healthy hot meal for you and DS, and a plate of cold oven chips for DH.

Changeismyname · 25/02/2021 07:22

But if you understand that will sort of mess up our "routine" if DH has to cook for himself alone later on, he can't to DS bedtime story sort of thing

Well he can eat after bedtime then

JesusAteMyHamster · 25/02/2021 08:57

Me and do had an almighty row years ago......so for weeks afterwards when I'd make tea I'd leave him a plate of the raw ingredients.

Beef stew was a particular highlight (( bowful of stewingsteak ) a carrot, a potato, parsnips etc and an onion. I even added flour and suet. All arranged on a plate with an oxo cube in the middle.

Smelborp · 25/02/2021 09:38

I would have asked him to explain the comment in front of your DC. He’s using it during an education exercise, so educate. Get the ingredients list from google of shop bought chips versus your ingredients and ask him to justify why he thinks the shop ones are healthier. It’s not just insulting your cooking, it’s putting you down in front of your DC.

WaterBottle123 · 25/02/2021 09:38

Did you lay down the law yet OP?

Original poster
Gcnq · 25/02/2021 20:32

Huh well that was easy.

I calmed down a bit in the morning and didn't really fancy bringing up his rudeness, so I made us all lunch like normal, we were chatting about local issues, politics etc all agreeable and good.

He then picks a massive argument with me over the way he's found a particular kitchen utensil I used for lunch!

So I said "I'm done cooking for you, I can't do this anymore, your moaning about everything I do etc etc you can do your own meals now"
He said "fine"

Easy! DS and I just had a lovely evening meal without him, and as far as I know he's choosing to starve himself because there's been no sign of him since lunch, I did the afternoon homeschooling.

OP posts:
JayAlfredPrufrock · 25/02/2021 20:35

Wow. That was easy.

RuledbyASD · 25/02/2021 20:53

@StillMedusa

Do not put up with this shit! He's a grown man.. he can cook for himself if he is critical of yours. And don't go buying ready meals as a mean alternative..again..he's an adult.. I presume he won't let himself starve to death! It's teaching your ds to treat women as their built in cook/cleaner etc so a fair split is better anyway.

My husband once criticised my ironing. Once. 32 years ago. I haven't ironed a thing since Grin We are still happily married! If I suggest something for dinner and he doesn't fancy it, we simply eat separately... same if he's cooking. No big deal. But anyone moaning does not get fed again in this house!

One comment caused that reaction? That's hugely disproportionate. One single criticism and you stamp your feet and sulk?! HmmWow
StillMedusa · 25/02/2021 23:25

RuledbyASD Nope... not a sulk or stamp in sight.. I simply said 'In that case you had better do it' And he does. And he's better at it as did 22 years in the Armed Forces. (not that anything much gets ironed these days )
Some of us manage to change how we do things without a strop you know. I don't think I've ever stamped my feet or sulked :)

clpsmum · 25/02/2021 23:51

I'd serve him shitty ready meals in the container they come in tbh screw that CF

Cherrysoup · 26/02/2021 00:05

Man, what a twat! Lunch here=sandwich, Pot noodle, soup and bread. No actual cooking.

Dinner is normally the DH’s job, I am insanely grateful every single time because I know it takes effort.

I wonder how long it will take for him to realise that he was ridiculously well off having you cook for him?

SleepingStandingUp · 26/02/2021 00:09

@Gcnq

Ugh the other thing about "just stop cooking for him" is that it's both lunch AND evening meal we're stuck in the house together!

The kitchen will have a constant stream of different meals being made in there all day long, it's a step too far I think.

So why can't he just take over cooking lunch and dinner and you'll do breakfast and bed?
BirdHedge · 26/02/2021 00:09

@Gcnq

Ugh the other thing about "just stop cooking for him" is that it's both lunch AND evening meal we're stuck in the house together!

The kitchen will have a constant stream of different meals being made in there all day long, it's a step too far I think.

It really isn’t, he’s an equal adult, so what if the kitchen gets messy. Anyway he should be cooking for you too just not himself.