One liners and quick posts on MN that have made you laugh?

[Snooks1971]

As in... tickled you.. have a wry inwards smile.. dare I say it have a silent chuckle? I don’t drink tea and so have never spat it out

There are tons... one from this week is from a thread where the teenagers had drunk all the milk at 2am leaving none for the OPs morning tea. What tickled me was a different poster empathising and saying that in a different thread the other OP had retaliated by “aggressively hoovering” outside their teen’s bedroom door.

Aggressively hoovering. Love it.

The Gadaffi and Quattro ones have cheered me up no end 🤣🤣

@ChristMyArse

The one where the OP was hassled getting ready to go in to the swimming baths with her DC. DH was already in the pool.

OP walked out pool side with DC where her husband hissed at her across the pool..

Julie.. your minge!!!!

She had walked out with no bottom half on.

It stuck in my head and every time I think of it I crack up.

Disclaimer - her name may not have been Julie.

Omg I remember someone bringing that up in another thread about funny MN posts.

I’ve got tears rolling down my face laughing at this now - hairs wet behind my ears 😂 brilliant.

There was a woman who kept finding literally piss on her office chair. Someone just commented
“Wooah we’re half way there”

It had me in stitches

Im crying with laughter reading these .
I cant remember the thread but someone was having a row with their DH and said " lets play the Fuck Off game and you can go first "
Ive been known to use this and smile whilst I say it . 😂

@nyctophyllia Brilliant - he absolutely does!
@mamaduckbone Also brilliant!

There's a TTC thread where the poster was concerned about sperm leaking after sex and someone replied,

"This is normal surely? It’s not like the semen just disappears up your vagina forever unless you’ve got the Bermuda Triangle shoved up there and you’re not telling us?" 😂

The dolphins thread - you'll thank me.

Wow has a dolphin stole your husband or something? You sound bitter

Did a dolphin rob your sweets as a child?

I’m off to buy some tuna right now.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/3386868-AIBU-to-be-livid-how-dolphins-are-portrayed-compared-to-how-they-are

@mamaduckbone

Fancying Matt Hancock being attributed to Stockholm Syndrome has made me chuckle today.

Oh yep I saw that too the other day! Hilarious

I am howling.

In particular, the descriptions of Tory politicians are killing me this evening.

I need to repeat them for posterity as they perfectly capture each person’s character.

David Cameron has a face like a freshly wanked cock.
Rees Mogg looks like he ejaculates dust.
Matt Hancock looks like a pudding faced estate agent.
Dominic Raab’s demeanour suggests he leaps out of bed after sex and does carats chops.

Oh yes, the dolphin thread. They're evil fuckers, aren't they?

I think my favourite thing about the dolphin post is that the OP appears to have been completely serious

nothing to add, but wiping the tears

[quote EmbarrassingAdmissions]The dolphins thread - you'll thank me.

Wow has a dolphin stole your husband or something? You sound bitter

Did a dolphin rob your sweets as a child?

I’m off to buy some tuna right now.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/3386868-AIBU-to-be-livid-how-dolphins-are-portrayed-compared-to-how-they-are[/quote]
I just read her posts and omg her last one where she jumps from murdering rapist ducks to asking if A Star is Born is worth watching 😂😂

Not a one-liner, but the story in a post asking for people's most mortifying stories (brilliant thread) is one of my all-time faves - she was at the dentist, and when the dentist said "suction", she thought he was talking to her and started sucking his finger. I can never think of that without cracking up.

Loving the reminders of posters' remarks, so funny and quick.

Hoof and Foof

@Graphista

"Fish slice and sex lube" the context was key but the comment alone made me laugh.

The poster was trying to get something burnt onto a halogen hob? Iirc?

Loving reading this thread though and seeing some new to me

I loved that thread. What really made me laugh was another pp replying "Well I'm shocked the fish slice and sex lube didn't work as it's my go to in a kitchen emergency" 🤣

@Nyctophyllia

David Cameron having a face like a freshly wanked cock

You've made me wake up DH laughing at that one!

I can’t remember which make celeb it was about but one op just said
“Dry, dry, dry vagina”

I can’t express how much I needed this today, I’m lying in bed crying with laughter at Paul the Pigeon.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/3770551-Today-DD-passed-the-Baby-Jesus-to-Mary-like-a-world-class-scrum-half
i saved this one for when ever i need a good giggle

Absolutely crying with laughter here 😭😭

Just looked to see if my favourite one about the bottomless pregnant swimmer ("your minge!") has been posted, I see it has!

@Wildery

Not a one-liner, but the story in a post asking for people's most mortifying stories (brilliant thread) is one of my all-time faves - she was at the dentist, and when the dentist said "suction", she thought he was talking to her and started sucking his finger. I can never think of that without cracking up.

Loving the reminders of posters' remarks, so funny and quick.

I think of this particular poster every time I’m at the dentist

I always remember the OP who posted the perfectly innocuous question, “What can I do with three ripe mangoes?” and the first response was simply “juggle them.” For some reason that made the OP inordinately angry!

DP getting irritated because I'm laughing too much at the Raab one to tell him what I'm laughing about. It's SO accurate! 🤣🤣

I can't remember specifics but the Jesus in the cabbage van thread had some absolute blinders. Outstanding.