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Original poster

If you were 44 and found out you were pregnant?

688 replies

HillsHaveEyez · 05/02/2021 21:00

Would you have it?

I’m not asking for advice for myself. Just interested in whether you personally would go ahead with a surprise pregnancy at such an advanced age.

OP posts:
Merryweather80 · 06/02/2021 20:49

I would yes. Despite the horrendous experience I've had all three time and being disabled- I just couldn't kill something that was a part of me. Something so small, innocent and tiny. But that's just me. Yes it would be hugely impractical and very difficult all around, but I couldn't hurt my own baby. Sorry if that goes against the grain.

waitintoolong · 06/02/2021 20:49

I had my daughter at 45. "Such an advanced age" is very disrespectful phrase. I was fit and healthy. Had an absolutely trouble free pregnancy and no problems with labour. I actually have some life experiences to pass on to her. She is turning into a beautiful emotionally mature and empathetic young lady. Best thing that has ever happened to me ...even at such an advanced age.

Nonicknamesleft · 06/02/2021 20:58

I was fairly keen to have one then actually, having had the others at 38, 40 and 42 so yes, had I got preggers at 44 I would certainly have gone ahead.

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riceuten · 06/02/2021 21:06

Surely it all depends on personal circumstances, and previous history? Without context, this is meaningless

Thejoyfulstar · 06/02/2021 21:21

I think would secretly be delighted, but I wouldnt go out of my way to conceive.

Topsyturveymam · 06/02/2021 21:21

I got pregnant at 43 through IVF and felt very blessed. It’s a very individual choice. I have no health issues and am fit. I sailed through pregnancy, no problems at all. Great birth and my son is bright and healthy.
I feel knackered sometimes ... I work full time and at the moment homeschooling a 6 year old too. Who isn’t tired right now?!

Everlastingyes · 06/02/2021 21:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CopperSelkie · 06/02/2021 21:26

I am and I have and I'm over the moon to finally have the chance to be a mum to my own child!
Not all of us were lucky enough to have children before now, for many reasons, it doesn't and shouldn't mean we lost our chance. I am healthy and hearty and have no reason to not go ahead with my much longed for and awaited pregnancy. If I had health risks, or risks to the baby, yes, that would require a long, hard coversation with my husband on what we should do. But that's a different scenario and really, could apply to any age.
So if all goes well, as it should, in September I'll be welcoming a very wanted wee bundle home to complete our family - and we can't wait to start that journey!

SmallPeople · 06/02/2021 21:26

It very much depends. My personal circumstances are that I had my children when I was relatively young, so they were adults by the time I was 44 so I probably wouldn’t have.

However, one of my school friends had her first (and only) DC when she was 43. DC wasn’t planned but she was in a committed relationship so they thought ‘why not’? By coincidence, my eldest was expecting her DC 1 at the same time. She’s good friends with my school friend now.

TL/DR I became a Grandmother within weeks of my school friend having her first.

In my job I see too many DCs who are not cared for. It’s not my place to judge when someone has a baby, as long as it is loved and cared for who am I to judge?

SleepingStandingUp · 06/02/2021 21:33

I had one at 33 and twins at 38 so no more babies here and one at 44 when the boys are 11 and 6 would be a nightmare
But o don't think I could abort a baby dh and I made

Jeeperscreepers69 · 06/02/2021 21:34

No way

movinggoalposts · 06/02/2021 21:35

No, but I had cancer not long before turning 44. I guess we could have tried around that point but I didn’t want to take any risks. I’m still broody though, but I know I don’t have the energy to borrow a kid let alone raise one.

Tuscadero · 06/02/2021 21:36

That's so lovely, @CopperSelkie. I hope the year flies by for you!

needadvice54321 · 06/02/2021 21:37

I wouldn't in my current position as by the time I'm 44 I'll have a child in their 20's and one late teens - so I wouldn't want to start again.

If I'd had children later in life then yes I probably would have one at 44

SomethingOnce · 06/02/2021 21:50

Now mid thirties, they're all reasonably self-sufficient in the sense that I never buy baby wipes any more, don't have to pack the entire house to leave the house: just shove shoes & coats on and we're off.

Oh, that made me hoot with laughter Grin

MTBer2021 · 06/02/2021 22:04

As it goes on,I'm finding this thread utterly eye-opening as it's a huge contrast to ones I've read on here when women are actually planning pregnancies around 40, let alone 44.
And I have never on any similar themed MN threads seen quite so many posters who had babies at 42 and older.

Celestine70 · 06/02/2021 22:20

Yes.

Middersweekly · 06/02/2021 22:25

No. All my DC would be adults or almost adults by then. It would be their time not mine!

Justploddingon · 06/02/2021 22:25

No, no, no! I am 42 and my children are 20, 16, 12 and 7 and I couldn't think of anything worse.

Stinkywizzleteets · 06/02/2021 22:39

I had my youngest at 42 & it was easier than when I had my eldest in my 30s. I don’t regret it for a minute. He keeps me young and active.

CopperSelkie · 06/02/2021 22:56

@Tuscadero

That's so lovely, *@CopperSelkie*. I hope the year flies by for you!
Thank you very much, I'm so, so happy!
mixedkebab · 06/02/2021 22:57

I am 44 and I would cry if I was pregnant again! I already have 4 ranging from 20 to 8 years old and my husband works abroad but I would not be able to abort it either so would find a way to manage. A really close friend had her 4th at age 45 when the oldest was 20

MitfordN · 06/02/2021 23:16

I definitely would. I’ve had mine at 19, 23 and twins at 39. I’m 51 now and I’d still be thrilled if I was pregnant. I’d be awfully nervous but I’d be over the moon. I don’t feel old at all. Fit, healthy, work from home. We home schooled all of them and what’s one or two more after four anyway?

douliket · 06/02/2021 23:20

Yes and I am in my thirties with four children,eldest is 18, youngest is 5, it would be a massive shock and is certainly not in our plans,we are very ready for the next stage of our lives and I'm sure there would be tears but there is no way I could live with knowing I had ended the life of our baby(can't even imagine how traumatic that would be),I would be in a better financial position so I would enlist more help such as a cleaner and even a night nurse to help maybe one night a week so I could get a full night sleep but no way would I consider an abortion,our surprise baby would just have to fit in to the next stage of our lives and I'm sure it would be a very happy time at that despite the initial concerns and tears

Whycantibeapuppy · 06/02/2021 23:26

Ooh now this is a thought provoking question.

I can’t have children for various reasons (13 miscarriages and counting) I’m 31. It’s unlikely I can carry to full term but I’d rather try just in case that’s the miracle one. Having said that I think my limit would be about aged 40. I just don’t think I could be the mother I want to be past that. Hmmm tough question, I might need to think about this!