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Original poster

If you were 44 and found out you were pregnant?

688 replies

HillsHaveEyez · 05/02/2021 21:00

Would you have it?

I’m not asking for advice for myself. Just interested in whether you personally would go ahead with a surprise pregnancy at such an advanced age.

OP posts:
Nenevalleykayaker · 06/02/2021 19:09

I was unexpectedly pregnant at 45

I’d already had two at 40 and 38

We were going ahead, but lost her at 11 weeks. She had a spine tail, arm nubs, recognisably developing.

I found motherhood very chilled, so regardless of finances and people who will say, “But you’ll be in your 60s with a young kid!” I’m very much against abortion anyway so wouldn’t have considered it under any circumstance.

I was the second oldest mother at junior school, 50 with a ten year old. It’s not that unusual.

Jhjhjh3 · 06/02/2021 19:10

I was 44 when I found I was pregnant. 3 months late I found out twins. 15 years late no regrets only joy

Picoloangel · 06/02/2021 19:12

Had my one and only at 45 after a lot of miscarriages.she feels like an incredible gift every day and without doubt the best thing that ever happened to me.
V easy pregnancy and has been v straightforward for me. I’m atypical for my age but so much if it depends on the person.
I would actually much rather be menopausal with a toddler than a teenager!

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KellyMarieTunstall2 · 06/02/2021 19:13

I had mine at 44. Good for meGrin

Cyw2018 · 06/02/2021 19:15

Yes

I'm 40 and for various reasons we have chosen to only have one child but if a suprise one came along at 44 i would definitely and happily keep the pregnancy.

However I would pay for NIPT at the earliest possible point to screen for chromosomal abnormalities rather than waiting for NHS screening and abort if there was a problem. I had a private NIPT when I was pregnant with DD at 36, just the likelihood of bad news would be a hell of a lot higher at 44.

lovemirage · 06/02/2021 19:17

No but it was already no after second one when I was 36.

namechange63524 · 06/02/2021 19:18

I would.

justasking111 · 06/02/2021 19:25

@Cyw2018

Yes

I'm 40 and for various reasons we have chosen to only have one child but if a suprise one came along at 44 i would definitely and happily keep the pregnancy.

However I would pay for NIPT at the earliest possible point to screen for chromosomal abnormalities rather than waiting for NHS screening and abort if there was a problem. I had a private NIPT when I was pregnant with DD at 36, just the likelihood of bad news would be a hell of a lot higher at 44.

I had all the tests like you and would have terminated.
justasking111 · 06/02/2021 19:26

I do not know if this is relevant but having a baby at 44 meant in my case my menopause did not hit until I was in my mid fifties.

Inkpaperstars · 06/02/2021 19:30

I don’t think I have ever met anyone who has become a grandmother in their 40s although I can see it must happen a lot. It sounds nice, but I don’t think of 40s as an age when many women are becoming grandmothers.

BoogieFeet · 06/02/2021 19:30

No, it wouldn’t be the right decision for my family.

rawalpindithelabrador · 06/02/2021 19:31

No not on your nelly.

LalalalalalaLand123 · 06/02/2021 19:31

Definitely, but i would have advanced tests done to try to detect problems.

kowari · 06/02/2021 19:31

Surely it’s not about age or fertility really - but about timing.
This, it would be awful timing for me, DS would be 22! Bit different if you have another child under 5.

I don't think I could personally abort a pregnancy if I was carrying a healthy baby, so I would have the child.

VinylDetective · 06/02/2021 19:32

@Inkpaperstars

I don’t think I have ever met anyone who has become a grandmother in their 40s although I can see it must happen a lot. It sounds nice, but I don’t think of 40s as an age when many women are becoming grandmothers.
One of my friends was a grandmother at 34, she was a great grandmother in her late 50s and stands an excellent chance of seeing her great, great grandchildren.
Ogbuagu · 06/02/2021 19:33

I had my first at 40 and last at 44 and have no problems at all, girls go to a Catholic School and the vast majority of mothers are late 30s 49s I think I have alot of patience dont know how i would have coped in my 20s

Frazzlefrazle · 06/02/2021 19:33

No as my eldest would be 25 and I will be well and truly done with babies. However we are lucky to have 3 lovely children so I have no desire for more.

kowari · 06/02/2021 19:33

@Inkpaperstars

I don’t think I have ever met anyone who has become a grandmother in their 40s although I can see it must happen a lot. It sounds nice, but I don’t think of 40s as an age when many women are becoming grandmothers.
Both my grandmothers, one grandfather, and both my parents were in their 40s.
Imapotato · 06/02/2021 19:34

@Inkpaperstars

I don’t think I have ever met anyone who has become a grandmother in their 40s although I can see it must happen a lot. It sounds nice, but I don’t think of 40s as an age when many women are becoming grandmothers.
My mum was 48, my youngest sister was 6 at the time!

I know loads of people who were grandparents in their 40s, I know a few who were in their 30s!

Themostwonderfultimeoftheyear · 06/02/2021 19:35

My nan was 42 when I was born

Inkpaperstars · 06/02/2021 19:38

I said it must happen a lot, stands to reason if two generations have babies in early twenties or before. And it’s lovely!

percheron67 · 06/02/2021 19:39

It would depend entirely on the circumstances. It would take a great deal to make me abort but situation and health of the child would decide.

tinylittleyou · 06/02/2021 19:41

Thinking about it most people I know became first-time grandparents around 48/49, including my own parents and grandparents.

But I think that will change for my own generation as the average age to have a baby has risen over the years.

perfectpanda · 06/02/2021 19:44

That happened to me and yes I did. Big surprise. I wept. And stressed. But all went well. He's nearly 4 and lockdown has been mighty tough for his old lady, hormonally challenged mother. But he just said 'I love you mummy' as he pushed out a poo on the loo, and that makes it all OK!

Inkpaperstars · 06/02/2021 19:47

It all depends on whether generations have similar gaps. If two in a row have children relatively young then you get young grandparents. If one has a child older but then their child gives birth very young, then still fairly young grandparent. But if two or three generations go long then it gets quite drastic! I am pregnant now and my grandfathers were born in 1897 and 1900!

Looking back at the family tree I actually think many would be grandmothers in their forties, but equally possibly have their youngest in their forties too. They just seemed to start as soon as married and continue having children until nature stopped it.

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